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To think it's rude to take another call

(22 Posts)
Dancergirl Tue 04-Mar-14 13:31:38

On the phone to a friend. Suddenly mid sentence she says she has to go and take a call, on her mobile presumably. Said she would call back.

AIBU to think that unless it's an emergency this is rude? We have answer phones and voicemail these days, you don't have to pick up each time it rings.

StarGazeyPond Tue 04-Mar-14 13:33:04

My friend does this all the time. I can be in mid-sentence, but if her mobile beeps then she just jumps up and cuts me off. It drives me mad - she is an absolute slave to her mobile.

whitepuddingsupper Tue 04-Mar-14 13:33:08

Maybe it was important, hard to say if she WBU without knowing what the other call was, could have been medical results, job interview news etc.

Dancergirl Tue 04-Mar-14 13:59:15

Yes i know it could have been important but we know more or less what's going on in each other's lives and don't think it was medical or job interview.

She's just texted to say she's out now and we'll speak another time.

whiteblossom Tue 04-Mar-14 14:03:50

Ahh, I can't stand it when friend sits texting while sat with you at a table in a restaurant! Er Im sure we arrange to meet to catch up, not have me sit looking at you while you text!

I once got up and left. Its rude. sorry op rant over.

depends on friend, circ's, if she always does it I'd have to say something- Id understand if it was work but at least say bye real quick! Start doing it back until she gets the message.

ScrambledeggLDCcakeBOAK Tue 04-Mar-14 14:07:34

My close friends and I both do this. We are in contact very regularly so its more likely that whoever calls is someone we wouldn't speak to as much so we take the call then phone back.

I sort of see it the same way as ending a call to answer the door.

I suppose it depends who the first person I'm on the phone to is though.

winterhat Tue 04-Mar-14 14:08:27


ScrambledeggLDCcakeBOAK Tue 04-Mar-14 14:09:58

whiteblossom I agree with that.

the occasional text fine but me watching someone all night not ok.

I don't do that to them either.

jacks365 Tue 04-Mar-14 14:09:59

If my mobile rings I pick it up always. I don't get calls for fun on my mobile so I assume it's urgent. My last 3 calls were nursery because my youngest was ill, school because my older one was ill and doctor cancelling an appointment, that was over a 3 month period. People ring me on the landline to chat, if they need to use the mobile it better be important.

ScrambledeggLDCcakeBOAK Tue 04-Mar-14 14:12:31

Sorry not done yet.

Also if I am with my friend/s and the phone goes I only take the call to tell the person I'm busy but will call you at..... Insert time... Then I go back to who I'm with.

Dancergirl Tue 04-Mar-14 14:14:35

I'm not sure I agree with that jacks I always prefer to use my landline when I'm at home, my mobile is rubbish and reception is terrible round here. But I think I'm unusual. Most people seem to use their mobile as their main phone these days.

BakerStreetSaxRift Tue 04-Mar-14 15:11:55

I hate this too, especially when they have that function where you are effectively on hold whilst they speak to the other person.

My friend does this, once her Mum called for a chat whilst I was on the phone to her, she put me on hold and went and doe to her Mum for 5 minutes, with me holding like a fucking dick (among she'd be back at any second as she wouldn't be that rude). The following week she put me on hold when her boyfriend called, lesson learnt this time - I gave her thirty seconds then hung up.

Rude, rude, rude.

goodiegoodieyumyum Tue 04-Mar-14 15:18:24

My mum did this to me the other day, she skyped me and just as my children came to say hello her phone rang, it was my brother, apparently his phone call was more important than our conversation. By the time she came back my DD had gone swimming with her father so she didn't see her Nana.

I will add there isa 10 hour time difference between us so not always that easy for her to see the kids, my brother has no time difference, yes I was a little annoyed.

Dancergirl Tue 04-Mar-14 17:22:18

I wonder if our manners were better years ago before we all only had ONE phone and no call waiting etc....?

bakerstreet did you discuss it with her after you hung up?

FTRsGotAShinyNewNN Tue 04-Mar-14 17:28:35

I do sometimes end phone calls on my landline if DH rings my mobile only because he's in the RN and there's not always a convenient alternative time for him to call, especially last year when he was on deployment for 6 months in South America.

As rule though, it's rude

BakerStreetSaxRift Tue 04-Mar-14 17:46:20

Dancergirl, no, when she tried to call me back later, I passive-aggressively ignored it blush

redexpat Tue 04-Mar-14 18:17:03

Did she say 'bear with, bear with...'?


RaspberryRuffle Tue 04-Mar-14 19:13:50

It is very bad manners. If I'm on the phone but waiting on test results or something I would say so at the start of the call, "Sorry, I might have to call you back if Dr X calls".
I did text one friend I was out with as she was just sitting there looking at her phone. I said "Helloooo, I'm in front of you". She didn't find it funny, yes it was a bit PA but so what.

I tend not to do the "answer phone to tell someone I'm busy" either. If I'm busy I don't answer. My boss does this all day, telling one to "bear with me" while answering another to say "I'm busy, I'm on phone to xyz". I hear these conversations, they're not life and death! She likes the drama I think, usually said with a breathless tone.

Also if someone (parents or MIL usually) ring at an inconvenient time, and they can be reasonably sure it is inconvenient to ring at 08.50 on a Sunday, when I call later and they say I must have been out I tell them that I was in but wouldn't answer at that time, and if it had been important they would have rung my mobile. MIL still believes it Costs A Fortune to ring mobiles and never ever does!

TiggyCBE Tue 04-Mar-14 19:15:02

I think it would be absolu...


...sorry, just got to go post on another thread.

LetZygonsbeZygons Tue 04-Mar-14 19:17:27

I had to say something ina shop once as I was being served and the shop phone rang and the girl answered it in mid serving and was having a casual convo and I said 'excuse me, (hoiking bosoms up) I was here first, etc etc'.

cashiers get uppity about customers on phones while theyre serving them, theyre absolutley right and spot on but it works both ways.

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 04-Mar-14 19:22:27

grin at Tiggy.

Allergictoironing Tue 04-Mar-14 19:32:54

I have a friend who regularly calls (hands free) to my landline when she's driving to & from places e.g. her daily commute (works shifts, so not at normal commuting times) - I think she gets bored driving & has to fill the time by chatting. It's never anything earth-shatteringly important & quite often she will clearly be just filling time.

So I feel 100% justified in answering my mobile, especially as I'm job hunting and agencies tend to have withheld numbers so I don't know who it is.

However if I'm on either phone to an agent & a friend calls, I would only pick up the new call if the agent specifically said "do you want to take that, I'll hold on a mo"; then I would pick up long enough to say sorry busy on other line.

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