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Letter addressed to DH

(55 Posts)
gelati3 Mon 03-Mar-14 11:32:46

Started a business with DH, equal shares. Got advice from accountants- we both attended the meetings. Fee invoice and covering letter addressed to DH only. AIBU to think this is sexist?

WooWooOwl Mon 03-Mar-14 11:38:17


When Dh (then DP) moved into the house I'd owned for two years and we put him on the council tax and electoral register, they moved my name down a slot and put his name at the top on the form they use to check who needs a vote, presumably simply because he's a Mr and I'm not.

That gave me the rage.

Ithinkwerealonenow Mon 03-Mar-14 11:40:42

Just ring them up and request they address you both next time. Job done, and they will (ought to be) embarrassed.

It's just habit, most of their clients will be grey haired businessMEN with wifeys at home. Not worth stressing about.

eurochick Mon 03-Mar-14 11:41:42

YANBU. Call them and correct them.

BuzzardBird Mon 03-Mar-14 11:42:27

I guess the question is; would you have minded if the letter had been addressed to you only?

LessMissAbs Mon 03-Mar-14 11:42:54

tbh I'd be so annoyed, I'd take the work away from them and tell them why. If they haven't got enough attention to detail regarding respect for their clients and ownership of business details, then quite possibly they will get other stuff wrong too. Businesses with more than one owner are hardly unusual, I am sure they don't purely deal with sole traders.

gelati3 Mon 03-Mar-14 11:44:22

Thanks for your responses. BuzzardBird, I would mind if letter addressed to me only.

kentishgirl Mon 03-Mar-14 11:45:59

I would worry about their standing as accountants. Do they know what they are doing?

An invoice addressed to an individual only applies if you are a sole trader. If you both own the business, that's not possible, you must be a Ltd or Partnership, in which case the invoice should be to the business name, not any of the owners.

OwlCapone Mon 03-Mar-14 11:46:20

Would you have thought it sexist rather than a mistake if the letter had been addressed to you only?

I agree with others - just call them and ask for it to be corrected on their records.

CornishMade Mon 03-Mar-14 11:46:47

Agree with LessMiss. Total lack of attention to detail, if not outright sexist. Either tell them you're unhappy and give them a second chance, or tell them why you're leaving.

eddielizzard Mon 03-Mar-14 11:48:27

yes this is bloody annoying. i'd correct them.

i hired a lawyer to write mine and dh's wills. one for each of us. he wrote it up and sent a letter plus one will (my dh's will) to my dh - and referenced me only as 'your wife'. i was paying the bill. i fired him.

BuzzardBird Mon 03-Mar-14 11:48:58

In that case I would call them smile

AbbeyBartlet Mon 03-Mar-14 12:13:01

Some computer systems make it harder to pick up both names on letters and you have to remember to end it (assuming you can edit it) so it may not be sexist as such

CuttingOutTheCrap Mon 03-Mar-14 13:12:45

DH and I recently received a letter addressed to Mrs and Mr (My, clearly female, Name) CuttingOutTheCrap.

We couldn't work out if that was better or worse than the usual Mr and Mrs (His name) CuttingOutTheCrap that we usually get!, but it made us laugh at least grin

JennySense Mon 03-Mar-14 13:15:20

My DH is the other Director of my business. Any marketing/sales bumpf is only ever addressed to him!

PurpleSwift Mon 03-Mar-14 13:24:46

YABU. It could be a simple error.

JoinYourPlayfellows Mon 03-Mar-14 13:27:05

I would worry about their standing as accountants.

As would I.

That is incredibly unprofessional to the point of looking sloppy.

That's not who I want doing the accounts of my business.

HadABadDay2014 Mon 03-Mar-14 13:30:08

I would leave it a day or 2, they may send out the same letter but addressed to you.

tiredandsadmum Mon 03-Mar-14 13:44:44

I have had financial advisers do similar where they totally discounted my views, my requirements etc for pension planning and financial investment. I was at the time earning less than DH but not by much, both qualified accountants. It was blatant sexism, so we never used them again.

Leviticus Mon 03-Mar-14 13:58:52

YANBU. I'm currently selling the house, which is my name only on the deeds and mortgage but the estate agents will insist on phoning and writing to DH about it rather than me. Petty but annoying!

Mrsantithetic Mon 03-Mar-14 14:03:15

I had this with life insurance.
I had the policy 8 years. Its my name on the mortgage

Added dp to the life insurance. He automatically became the number one applicant.

I phoned and asked why this was given it was my policy, we aren't married, he isn't a property owner, it comes from my bank account.

Got told "because the male always becomes the first name" I again asked why. " just does"

Wouldn't change it back. hmm If I didn't have such a bloody bother getting life insurance I would have left the policy and gone elsewhere

aurorasky Mon 03-Mar-14 14:10:07

When we moved house our bank sent my husband a letter offering him x amount in a loan to do some building work etc. I got one offering a loan to buy soft furnishings. Fuming.

bearleftmonkeyright Mon 03-Mar-14 14:12:53

Me and DP are not married but absolutely everything in joint names comes with his name first. When we were rearranging our mortgage the advisor would phone and ask to speak to him when we are joint names on the mortgage. Its just your everday sexism that seems to permeate everything in our day to day lives. Yanbu, in your case that is extremely annoying and insulting.

aurorasky Mon 03-Mar-14 14:12:55

Oh and YANBU.

HarpyFishwifeTwat Mon 03-Mar-14 14:18:43

YANBU. I ended our relationship with accountants because they would only speak to DH on phone. We are joint owners/directors of company. Went in together to discuss business yet they refused to deal with me.

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