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AIBU to think you can't really go to court over this

(7 Posts)
Fusedog Sun 02-Mar-14 20:38:51

I was on another mummy type site and been on this thread but I am finding the whole thing sad but strange.

A mum has a child who is a teen, but the teen is very clear about living with the father

The mum has had spells in mental health hospitals in the past (I don't know if that's relevant most likely not )

So after the half term visiting mum has kept teen at her home as dad lives hours away and is threatening to take the father to court.

Now AIBU to think that if your child especially a older child is clear about who they want to live with even though it's very sad for the mum I think she is a bit off to take the dad to court I fear due to the mothers health in the past he actually may offer more stability to the child.

and I think it often leads to unwanted behaviours like running away ECt personally I think to have to pack there bags tell them you always have a room at your house and drop them off

Fusedog Sun 02-Mar-14 20:40:12

I don't think the judge would side with the mother any how then all you have done is put the child through interviews with carcass made them feel guilty and are pretty much keeping them against there will

Birdsgottafly Sun 02-Mar-14 20:45:07

It depends on how much clarity of thought the Mum has, tbh.

My youngest DD's friend lives with her Dad, her Mum is frequently sectioned. Her Mum isn't often aware if the extent of her problems and doesn't continually grasp why she doesn't have residency.

Children from the age of around ten are listened to and that should be the case.

Once a child reaches teenage years they have the right to decide who they live with, perhaps the Mum doesn't realise this.

It's heartbreaking to lose residency because if any sort of disability, even though it is in the child's interests.

I wouldn't point out the obvious to the Mum in this case, but just give a listening ear.

MammaTJ Sun 02-Mar-14 21:16:18

My DStD left her mum and moved in with me and her dad at age 15. We were advised that we didn't need to go to court for residency as by the time we had she would he 16 and even if before 15 year olds are listened to!

nennypops Sun 02-Mar-14 21:44:09

She can take it to court, but it sounds very much as if it would be total waste of her time and money. Court will inevitably recognise that you can't force teenagers to stay with a parent if they don't want to.

I wonder what this woman is planning to do about school? Presumably her son is at a school somewhere near his dad's address?

Fusedog Sun 02-Mar-14 21:50:53

Yes the child is currently not at school from what I have read.

I just think the lady is question should focus more on why her child wants to live with the father.

Cravey Mon 03-Mar-14 00:19:48

A child can choose whom they want to live with from the age of seven. They can also engage a legal advisor and have a guardian ad litem. If they go to court the judge will take the child's needs and wants into account as well as opinion.

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