A bit of background... Had a bit of a difficult time the months up to and following Xmas last year (12 not 13) my dad split up with a girlfriend and decided to go on a 3/4 month alcohol binge. It was like alcoholism but only a short period so I don't know what you'd call it. He spent over 6k on alcohol and didn't work, eat etc. he needed help and I spoke to a lot of his friends that I haven't for a long time. One decided to tell me there was a big family secret and gave a few hints, saying I should ask my mum. This man is an absolute prick and had no right saying anything. Nothing more needs to be said about him.
I rang my mum and basically said 'dads not my dad is he?' She gave me a very long story about how my mum and dad split and she got with another man, she then found out she was pregnant. Paternity has never been established. she dated the other guy for several months, her and my dad made a mends and got back together (until I was 11/12) He's always been there for me and has been fantastic. Since I found out I feel no need to take a paternity test, it simply wouldn't matter. Why bother.
The way this all happened, responses to it and the 'shame' bought on the family really messed up my mum and she still struggles to get over it.
When I found out, I had a little cry. I was upset everyone knew and lied to me. DP was never supportive.
His beliefs are that this is all a lie. It is clear my dad is my dad. Why would any man be there for a kid he thought wasn't his?! I talked about it Friday night as it came up in conversation and I told DP about the conversation.
His response, to paraphrase, was... Not this again. I don't see why you are so upset. You haven't handled it well. You even cried about it. Your mum made it up for attention. Your dad is your dad. I'll even pay for the paternity test to prove its a load of shit. I don't see why you bring it up all the time (this is pretty much first time since it all happened)
He genuinely doesn't see the issue. His mum told him she was shocked by his insensitivity at the time. She apologised to me saying something like she didn't raise him like that (she is absolutely lovely, perfect MIL)
I can't think of anything to say to him to make him understand. He literally thinks my mum got bored one day and made it up so I'm stupid to believe it. It hurts that my one support pillar isn't there for me and I can't rely on him. When I told him, he said he is there to support me but not for rubbish like this!
I know domestic violence is wrong but Sometimes...
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17 replies
TwittyMcTwitterson · 02/03/2014 17:48
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