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3 day hen

(67 Posts)
WeightyKaty Sun 02-Mar-14 15:06:02

Bit over the top isn't it? I get that it's important to celebrate with your friends but most people will have to travel to the wedding too.

Bearbehind Sun 02-Mar-14 15:09:25

Dontcha know that nowadays everyone's wedding involves everyone else spending the maximum amount of time and money to celebrate their big day wink

OuterFromOutersville Sun 02-Mar-14 15:10:29

It's a lot of time and money to expect others to spend. If you can't afford one or either of these, just explain that you can't go.

Pippintea Sun 02-Mar-14 15:10:54

Who's paying?! 3 days of showering the bride to be with attention sounds like hell unless she's putting you all up in a five star hotel !

WeightyKaty Sun 02-Mar-14 15:12:22

Oh we'll all be paying and it's a bank holiday too

Vinomcstephens Sun 02-Mar-14 15:12:40

I never understand why stag/hen do's and wedding cause so much angst on Mumsnet. So you've been invited to a three day hen do? Well here's the thing: go, or don't go. There, quite simple really, isn't it? Is it really worth all the sniping and snide digs (ok and the out and out bitchiness) on here? People can organise whatever kind of do they want - last time I checked it wasn't the law that you had to say yes!

ForgetMeKnots Sun 02-Mar-14 15:13:23

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

squoosh Sun 02-Mar-14 15:14:39

I've been on three day hens that have been great fun. They've been weekends away with friends really rather than prostrating ourselves before the bride to be for three days.

They aren't mandatory though, you can just go for one day.

TetrisBlock Sun 02-Mar-14 15:14:51

I quite enjoy a weekend, I went away for my hen last year and have been on one quite recently and am due to go on another (I think in Bath) in a few months. They don't have to be wildly expensive. Saying that my sil (to be) is having a weekend-long hen next year which I'm not looking forward to as we aren't close friends and I don't particularly like any of her friends very much so it's going to be long and awkward. If I can possibly manage to avoid without offending then I will!

Most of my friends are newly married with young children so it seems we actually have to threaten to leave the country to get a decent break now. grin

PublicEnemyNumeroUno Sun 02-Mar-14 15:15:03

Why? Why does it need 3 days? Ridiculous

PerpendicularVince Sun 02-Mar-14 15:15:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WeightyKaty Sun 02-Mar-14 15:16:05

I get all that Vino and of course can say yes or no. I thought hen parties always used to be a fun night out and perhaps an activity in the day. They seem to have turned into extravaganzas costing more than a dirty weekend in Paris.

bodybooboo Sun 02-Mar-14 15:16:13

exactly either go or don't go. I would personally rather rip my own arm off than go on a 3 day break with other women.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sun 02-Mar-14 15:16:33

Vino, it's not though, is it? A three-day event, it's not like it's in suitable 'modules' that you can just elect to attend those you can manage. It's all or nothing. So many seem to want to 'up the ante' all the time, so attention-seeking and selfish. It will get to a point where there will be 'hen years' (360 days for the hen 'do' and 5 days for the wedding itself) and nobody in their right minds will attend. I suppose it will all work itself out then.

OP, you're not being at all unreasonable. This z-leb culture has an awful lot of influence on some people. Frightening!

squoosh Sun 02-Mar-14 15:16:39

Better not to go at all than to go and resent it. You don't get medals for moaning.

FunkyBoldRibena Sun 02-Mar-14 15:17:20

Utterly fucking ridiculous.

bodybooboo Sun 02-Mar-14 15:17:46

I blame films like bridesmaids and wedding date etc for the complete ott ness of hen and wedding dos these days.

bloody ridiculous.

HotDogHotDogHotDiggityDog Sun 02-Mar-14 15:18:25

I don't understand 3 day hen/stag parties. Surely after the first night you're too hungover to really enjoy the second?

I know I am. Takes me days to recover from a night out.

StrawberryCheese Sun 02-Mar-14 15:18:40

I was given a three day hen by my bridesmaids, it was awful, hardly anyone came. One night with lovely food and maybe some cocktails would have done just fine.

I am proof that not all brides want a big fuss!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sun 02-Mar-14 15:18:44

Oh I see that squoosh attended a one-day event - that would be reasonable for me, more than that wouldn't.

One of my acquaintances recently had a 'hen week', in the UK, torrential rain and nothing to do - and only a handful accepted because it was 'all or nothing'.

SometimesLonely Sun 02-Mar-14 15:18:45

What happened to meeting at a pub or restaurant for one evening? Or even someone's house? Too cheap? Handwringing about tightwads?

Lottiedoubtie Sun 02-Mar-14 15:19:16

It's just an invitation, if you want to go, go. If not. Don't.

I had a 3 day (2night) hen, people were invited to come for some or all of it.

Had about 10 all weekend and a further 10 (numbers approx, it was several years ago now) on the Saturday night.

Lots of fun, no angst. Costs kept reasonable and all activities etc... Were optional and some did some, and some did all. Takeaway fri night, picnic lunch sat, out for dinner sat, breakfasts eat in, reasonably priced SC accommodation. Just a fun weekend away with friends. I paid my share and didnt act like a princess. No one got alcohol poisoning or was forced onto a party bus against their will grin

HoratiaDrelincourt Sun 02-Mar-14 15:22:19

I've only done one hen weekend. It was very lovely - cottage in the middle of nowhere with private pool and lovely cake company.

But that was pre-DC for everyone, all professionals with good salaries for whom multiple weekends away are a comfortable luxury.

There's no way I could afford or justify a weekend away that wasn't also a family holiday. Doesn't matter whose wedding.

WeightyKaty Sun 02-Mar-14 15:24:34

We have to confirm in a couple of weeks but there are no details about location etc. ideally I'd join for a day and night.
Obviously my hen was perfect with an activity in the afternoon followed by cocktails, dinner and cheesy club wink

Nerris Sun 02-Mar-14 15:26:34

Three days is OTT. It might seem easy to say "I don't want to go" but if you are a close friend or feel obliged because of 'x' 'y' 'z' reason then it puts you in an awkward position and you feel like you have to explain yourself or the bride will get the royal arse with you and relations will be frosty.

Why oh why don't people (brides) just set their expectations a little more at a reasonable level? One year we had 4 wedding invitations and if i'd gone for a whole weekend for all the hen do's, we would have had to live off beans on toast for the rest of the year!

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