To contact the police on elderly neighbour

[kellibabylove]

Sorry a bit of a long one but WIBU to call the police on our old lady neighbour?
So we have lived in our house for almost 5 years. Our elderly next door neighbour has always got on with us, even sending our dd's (4 & 6)christmas presents. Just before Christmas, very out of character she started shouting at me as I walkin in with the dd's after school about us banging and slamming. Never any complaints before and we havnt suddenly started banging. (neighbours other side of her having extension built) maybe this is what shes hearing.

Anyway since then all was quiet until last week. Again it seems she was waiting for me to arrive home with dc after school. She complained again about banging, also stating that we have stolen her bin and dh has slashed her tyres. She was quite aggressive and the children were quite scared. I quite happily let her look for her bin and didn't even acknowledge the slashing tyre accusation. To cut a long story short in the end the door was shut in her face.
So today me and the dd's were going out and she was outside and had another go at me claiming she has contacted the police over dh slashing her tyres. I told her she was talking rubbish and asked her why he would do such a thing? She just said she knew is was him over and over again. I walked away and she followed me down the driveway shouting at me scaring dd's. Totally ruined our bike ride but surfice to say we didnt hurry back.
It seems to be every day she sees me now ane never once has she said anything to DH even though it's him she seems to have a vendetta against. She seems to have lost her mind!

[BumpyGrindy]

Well you said it...she appears to be in the early stages of dementia...or maybe the later stages. Has she any relatives? You;d be better off calling Age Concern not the police

[DrankSangriaInThePark]

Did she find her bin?

Maybe someone has slashed her tyres. If someone had slashed mine I would also contact the police.

Did you suggest to her that on the other side they are having an extension built and maybe that was what she could hear?

[Koothrapanties]

I think you should contact social services.

[CocktailQueen]

Yes, if this is totally out of character, it sounds like she has some form of dementia or MH problem. Do you know her relatives? Or which doctor she's registered with? If so, perhaps you could contact them and ask them to do a house call?

I'm not sure what Age Concern would be able to do - perhaps refer her to social services and send round someone to see her?

[nennypops]

I second Koothrapanties. It sounds like she needs medical help rather than the police.

[kellibabylove]

No she has no relatives or visitors of any kind. We contacted social services the first time she accused us of theft and criminal damage to see if she was known to them, but they found no record of her and advised us to phone the police if it continued.

[Chottie]

Does she have any relations or family?

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

If she's vulnerable the police will send a referral to the people who are paid to asses this type of thing.

That is not your job. Call the police.

[Birdsgottafly]

Care Line has an adult section, this would be passed on if you called them and a community nurse would go out to have a chat, they would contact her closest relative.

You could ask Age Concern for advice, as suggested.

Then go down the police route, if she becomes more irrational and threatening.

[catchingzeds]

Poor woman, I would assume she's unwell and respond with kindness. Does she have visitors? I think a call to SS or Age UK for advice is a good idea.

[catchingzeds]

Sorry cross post, if SS were no help then I would try Age Uk prev Age Concern.

[Aeroflotgirl]

In that case I would contact the police if you are concerned, this sounds out if character fom what you have said. Could well be early dementia, or mental health problems.

[Birdsgottafly]

X Post, I would go down the police route and back to

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

I agree with others, sounds like the onset of dementia. And she is alone. Poor woman.

[kellibabylove]

Yes she's found her bin I saw it yesterday. Ive remained calm with her and the last thing I want to do is to involve the police but if she has cantacted them over us I want it known that shes harrassing and we havn't done anything. I might contact the doctors, shes at the same one as we are. Its a good idea, but I don't think they will do anything as im not a relative.
She clearly needs to help but without a family to get that for her she is unlilely to receive any.

[bevelino]

I would contact social services or pass my concern to my GP who may know the elderly lady or know what action to take. This is not a police matter.

[ThePinkOcelot]

Ahh poor soul. Definitely sounds like dementia. If you have been advised to phone the police, then that is what you should do.

[sittingbythepoolwithenzo]

Call the local police station - they can send someone out to check and refer to social services if necessary. I deal with elderly clients, and that is what I do in these circumstances.

[magimedi]

Paranoid delusions, a form of dementure that sadly happens.

DH's relative has this - it takes the form of burglars stealing her shoe polish/hearing aids/ bread etc. It is very sad & very hard to deal with.

She needs some help & I would go down the route of her GP if you know her/him.

No need whatsoever for the police - who she has probably already contacted.

DH's relative rings them constantly & they are well aware of this illness, not just her, but generally.

[WynkenBlynkenandNod]

My Mum is a bit like this with her Dementia. However it could be some kind of infection like a UTI. I think I would ring the police to state your side, it will help build a picture in the future to get her help.

Given that you are at the same surgery I would write them a letter too. They hopefully will find an excuse to get her in for a 'health check' or something and try and see what is going on.

[fridayfreedom]

First port of call is her GP. I would contact the surgery first thing on Monday and ask to speak to the duty dr then explain what's been happening.
Unless its an emergency over the weekend getting her own GP to see her is better than an out of hours dr.

[cafecito]

yes this is absolutely a medical issue and if she doesn't have anyone else around I would absolutely want to make sure I reported this to someone above me so she may be assessed and given more help. Try andbe tolerant, remain calm, explain to DCs this is what it is likely to be

[BathTangle]

I'd second speaking to the GP practice. I have done this - they obviously cannot tell you anything, but they can listen to what you have to say and can follow it up. They can then do SS referral if necessary - I used to phone the social worker allocated to my elderly and vulnerable neighbour, who would wander down the street with minimal / no clothes etc.

You can also call the police and ask for something I think is called a "welfare check" or similar, where they can send someone round to check the person is OK.

[cafecito]

I'd put it in writing to your GP practice rather than speaking to anyone

I would mention this is new/ recent onset personality and mood changes, paranoia, confusion, signs of dementia definitely not there before and you cannot be sure she has not had a significant event like a stroke, heart attack or head injury or if she has any infections. Say she lives alone with no social or family support you know of, is vulnerable possibly deteriorating and you are concerned she might need further assistance.