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Am I being over sensitive

(9 Posts)
HadABadDay2014 Fri 28-Feb-14 23:22:00

DS has ASD, it was nothing I did or didn't do for him to have it.

I really hate that people that say it takes a special mum to have a special child.

DS is special to me as is my DD. But to a random person I know there is nothing special about either children.

Why do people say the rubbish

LaurieFairyCake Fri 28-Feb-14 23:24:49

Because they're trying to make you feel better about having a child with additional needs.

It's crap though.

LadyAlysVorpatril Fri 28-Feb-14 23:25:16

I can see how that would be annoying-it's just a platitude people use when they don't know what to say.

shakinstevenslovechild Fri 28-Feb-14 23:26:30

It's like 'you only get given as much as you can cope with' - so if you can't cope only good things happen to you?

Or after my son died I was told 'you are so lucky to have had him for even a short time' -I felt like punching the people who said that in the teeth, I didn't feel lucky at all.

I think these platitudes help the people who say them feel less awkward, they aren't really for the recipient.

LunchLadyWannabe Fri 28-Feb-14 23:28:04

I think what people mean is

It takes a special person to deal with all of lifes difficulties that a child with special needs brings.

There are alot of children with special needs in care homes etc as there parents couldnt cope with the demands of a special needs child.

I have a family member with severe special needs and i believe it takes someone special to cope with him 24/7.

Not alot of parents do cope.

Take it as a compliment

BackforGood Fri 28-Feb-14 23:28:18

YANBU, but I think many people feel awkward at times and are trying to say something nice or kind, but just get it wrong. I think you have to take the sentiment from what they are saying, and not worry too much about the words.

WorraLiberty Fri 28-Feb-14 23:29:21

"it takes a special mum to have a special child"

Oh god that sounds like some sort of pukeworthy crap straight off of Facebook.

Just ignore them OP, try not to let it wind you up.

All kids are special to their parents anyway, or at least they should be.

happycrimblechuckie Fri 28-Feb-14 23:31:25

I am sure both your DC's are very special to you but you are right they are not special to a perfect stranger. People say these things as they think it makes you feel better. Although not sure what you need to feel better about! You have 2 lovely children one with what I prefer to call "different needs" rather than "special needs" (he needs no more special treatment than your other child) he just needs different treatment. I am sure you are a special person just as I am to people that love me. You seem like you will raise 2 children who are loved very much and that is the best thing any mummy can do for her children whatever their needs.

HadABadDay2014 Fri 28-Feb-14 23:35:51

He is my first child so I really didn't know any different.

I do tend to nod and agree as people are only trying to be nice.

Shakin sorry about your loss thanks

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