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to not give neighbours son a lift

(28 Posts)
threeisthebest Fri 28-Feb-14 17:47:53

Our sons go to football training at the same club. Neighbour asked me if her son could get a lift there with us as there is no point in us both going in 2 cars, fine.

I asked if she would be picking them up but she said she cant bring my son home because she has agreed to drop 3 other boys off at home so there will be no room in the car. This is not a one off, she has arranged this on a permanent basis. I haven't been involved with any arrangements with other parents so I don't know why she has agreed to pick up 3 other boys every week.

I tried to suggest that it would be fair if we took it in turns to take the boys to football but she didn't seem to be taking me up on this. In the end, I just said that I would rather not get involved in lift sharing and would do my own thing.


longingforsomesleep Fri 28-Feb-14 17:49:30

What a cheek!! YANBU

pictish Fri 28-Feb-14 17:50:55

Nope. The 'arrangement' would only be benefitting her, with you gaining nothing in return. She wants you to give a lift to her son, but sees no need to include yours in the lift home again.
Ha ha ha. Yeah right.

princessalbert Fri 28-Feb-14 17:51:03


Why should you feel obliged to help her out, if she isn't planning to reciprocate?

She just does one trip - yet you have to do two.

no way, Jose!

RafflesWay Fri 28-Feb-14 17:51:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shakinstevenslovechild Fri 28-Feb-14 17:52:20

How cheeky, she should get one of the other boys parents to drop her son off since she is doing them a favour.

pictish Fri 28-Feb-14 17:53:24

She just wants to save herself a trip!!

AmberLeaf Fri 28-Feb-14 17:53:41


What a bloody liberty!

Pheonixisrising Fri 28-Feb-14 17:53:52

I actually laughed at the cheek of your neighbour , was she serious ???

threeisthebest Fri 28-Feb-14 17:56:30

Thanks everyone.

I have been partly thinking that I am being petty and that as I'm going anyway it seems silly not to let him jump in. It does feel rather odd us both leaving the house at the same time to go to the same place. I really cant understand why she wont alternate.

VeryStressedMum Fri 28-Feb-14 17:56:32

Omg not a chance would I be giving anyone a lift!

greenfolder Fri 28-Feb-14 18:00:30

Nope, yanbu would point her in the direction of the parents of the boys she brings home

threeisthebest Fri 28-Feb-14 18:00:48

Phoenix - yes she was serious. If this have been a one-off situation I would probably have just agreed to it because I am a bit on the soft side. But, a few years ago she changed jobs (huge promotion) and asked if she could drop the children off at mine at 8.15 because her new place of work was in the opposite direction to the school breakfast club so it would save her setting off really early.

I really wanted to say to her that I wasn't going to be used as an unpaid childminder, but in the end I skirted around the issue and waffled on about how I wouldn't want to let her down at any point and thought it would be better if she made proper arrangements herself.

greenfolder Fri 28-Feb-14 18:01:08

Nope, yanbu would point her in the direction of the parents of the boys she brings home

QOD Fri 28-Feb-14 18:04:31

Cheeky cheeky cow!!!!

PastPerfect Fri 28-Feb-14 18:04:50

Regardless of the return could you do alternate drop offs?

It does seem a bit churlish to refuse a lift when you are going anyway but equally is be pissed off at the expectation

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay Fri 28-Feb-14 18:05:11

Some people! hmm YANBU

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Fri 28-Feb-14 18:06:21

You have not said no outright - you have offered the very reasonable solution of either you drop off both boys & she picks both up or you drop off both boys one week & she drops both off the next.

Both arrangements would still benefit her, so she is being nothing but a cheeky mare to only be interested if you are the one doing all the giving!

Who are the 3 other boys? Are they children of clique-mums who she is trying to "get in with"? She doesn't sound like the sort of person to do favours otherwise confused.

BumpyGrindy Fri 28-Feb-14 18:07:49

She won't share PastPerfect the OP said the neighbour doesn't want to alternate!

OP YANBU what a cheek. I have a parent at my DDs school who takes my DD to dance class every single Saturday along with her own...why? Because once a week I collect her DD from school and look after her while the Mum works. It's about give and take...I can't drive and she can;t afford childcare.

expatinscotland Fri 28-Feb-14 18:17:17

YANBU. Cheeky cow.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Fri 28-Feb-14 18:17:34

Sometimes you have to say no to something you could easily do because the person who wants you to do it is a piss taking user who wants to take take take from you but not give anything to you.
this is one of those times. It is important to not be a doormat.

Tailtwister Fri 28-Feb-14 18:19:52

YANBU. The lift arrangement doesn't benefit you at all! Tell her to get one of the parents of the other boys she's giving a lift to to take her son.

NewNameForSpring Fri 28-Feb-14 18:20:30

How refreshing to hear of someone who has actually said no smile. YANBU.

PastPerfect Fri 28-Feb-14 18:38:06

Ah sorry I misread her refusal to alternate. In that case YANBU

NatashaBee Fri 28-Feb-14 18:47:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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