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AIBU not to take ds to dentist

(20 Posts)
Fusedog Thu 27-Feb-14 19:37:21

Ds is 15 and his teeth are sore and I am not inclined to take him back to the orthodontist at the hospital and here's year before last he needed braces retainers before he could get full ones for about a year he wore then them then when he was
14 we noticed

They started going missing or loosing them they cost £75 for a replacement and at one point he broke two pairs in one month we had to borrow the money off his grandad FFs

The last time I attempted to take him up there (visits every 6 weeks) he had broken them for the 5th time he made such a fuss I nearly crashed the car I pulled over warned him

That his teeth were likely to get bad and that his failure to wear the braces now would result in discomfort and braces in early adulthood he said he didn't care and was not wareing them and admitted he was braking them on purpose

He was 14 his mouth so didn't take him back

i will take him to the dentist but I refuse to get back I. The orthodontist merry go round All the dentist will do is put him back on list for the orthodontist at the hospital and as we were warned when I took him off the list he will go to the back of the que if he wants to get back on at any point it took 5 months to get to the top of the list the first time round

We simply can't afford the retainers

AIBU

Fusedog Thu 27-Feb-14 19:42:02

I must add also that the othadonist was convinced he was NOT wareing the retainers but the amount of progress his teeth were making.

So I will take him to the dentist but not back to the orthodontist at the hospital if that's the reason he will have to sort it out when he's older

OneUp Thu 27-Feb-14 19:44:10

Take him to the dentist but refuse to take him to the orthodontist. The dentist can't actually make you go.

LIZS Thu 27-Feb-14 19:48:47

presumably if you are having to pay for the braces then he is not bad enough to qualify for NHS treatment , ergo treatment isn't deemed essential . 5 months wait isn't actually that bad though.

Fusedog Thu 27-Feb-14 19:52:59

Liz you miss understand with the othadonist you get the first set free but then you have to pay this is the rules under the NHS in LONDON

And you say 5 months is not long you haven't seen ds teeth he had two rows at one point

Fusedog Thu 27-Feb-14 19:53:50

So any broken or lost pairs they charge you a apparently that's not even the full cost they charge

thesecowsaresmallthosearefaraw Thu 27-Feb-14 19:59:40

Do you feel that DS's teeth need the work? I wish my parents had listened to me when I said I didn't want braces. The orthodontist was crap and I've had to pay for 2 lots of remedial work as an adult.

Would your son understand that it is free now, but if he changes his mind and wants it done as as an adult, it will cost him 5 grand? and it won't be permanent - he will have to wear a retainer every night (Like I have to...)

NatashaBee Thu 27-Feb-14 20:01:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fusedog Thu 27-Feb-14 20:06:54

Well yes his teeth are really bad his teeth are the worst his densit has ever seen he has a under bite the gap is supposed to be 5 I think my ds is a 12

I did warn him he will be very embarrassed to be wearing a brace when he's 20 or 23 but he wouldn't listen

LIZS Thu 27-Feb-14 20:07:19

Well that isn't what we were told when ds was assessed. confused He refused to have them when he was younger, growing fast and could have the most benefit <sigh> , we physically couldn't force him to, and now at 15 he has to have something done because one of his incisors hasn't come down properly and is in danger of going into the root of the adjacent tooth.

Fusedog Thu 27-Feb-14 20:12:07

LIZS

Were were told this to that at the point of puberty it would have the most impact because he's growing but he wasn't wareing them and then going on to brake them and kicking up a fuss on the way up there

I can't make him and to be honest he's just waisting every ones time including mine and missing school for no reason the list is really long and there are people waiting who really want there teeth sorted

PlentyOfPubeGardens Thu 27-Feb-14 20:22:41

YANBU and neither possibly is your DS in his objection to ongoing treatment, although he hasn't been very mature in the way he has handled his objection.

I had all sorts of orthodontic treatment when I was a kid, it went on for years and it was fucking painful. I am now pretty sure that the last three years of treatment were purely cosmetic and it would be better if it had been stopped a lot earlier. It has contributed heavily to my dental phobia, I am just getting my teeth sorted out now after a gap of 16 years with no dental treatment. At least nobody can say my teeth are overcrowded any more, there's plenty of room for the remaining ones to spread out hmm

I think it would be a good idea to have an honest chat with the dentist (not the orthodontists) about where his teeth are at now and what the implications are of stopping treatment. He's 14, unless he's particularly young for his age I'd say he's old enough to listen to what the dentist has to say and then make up his own mind.

Good luck!

Hissy Thu 27-Feb-14 20:39:37

Ffs, get his teeth sorted,

Go to another dentist if you have to.

I wore a brace at 30, ended up losing teeth, having implants.

You think it's expensive now? you haven't got a clue what you'll pay privately!

You have a very short time left of funding. Use it wisely or he'll be blighted with godawful teeth for life, or take out mortgages to pay to fix them.

TeacupDrama Thu 27-Feb-14 20:49:26

orthodontics is best done at puberty to co-incide with the teenage growth spurt ( there are exceptions)

it is true the NHS will not endless replace broken appliances free if you break a brace/denture or crown within 12 months and it can be repaired it will be however if broke beyond repair or lost it maybe replaced once free but after that you need to fill in form explaining why lost/broke and they decide whether to replace free or whether there is a charge ( even if normally you would be exempt ie child or on benefit) because there was nothing wrong with treatment it is not the treatment that failed

at his age if he does not want treatment it will be stopped, maybe implications of the length of treatment were not explained properly or maybe they were and your Ds thought it was fine and now he has changed mind

personally if I was his dentist I would advise leaving treatment for the time being it can be done later but it will cost more and take longer approx 1 month longer for every year over 18, it is not ideal but it is never going to work if he wears brace one day in seven then it breaks

as orthodontist said we can tell whether brace is being worn by tooth movement and wear to brace, so the patient can not really kid us on it has been worn when it has not.

the dentist will get into touch with orthodontist and return NHS form as incomplete, your DS does need to be sure as they are not going to remove braces and start a whole new course of treatment with new braces 6-12 months down the line, orthodontists are in short supply even privately and lots will not take on patients unless they think they are keen and well motivated

at present your DS has made it perfectly clear that he does not want it done, by his actions if not words at least initially I would stop wasting your time, his time and the orthodontists time and wait, if he changes his mind well that can be dealt with later, the cost of providing braces on NHS is still £1,500-5,000 per case; £75 is a token amount to cover part of the fee for laboratory for manufacture

TeacupDrama Thu 27-Feb-14 20:51:58

hissy orthodontic treatment will simply not work if patient unco-operative however much money you throw at it, if patient refuses to wear/breaks them it will not work they have to be worn all the time or at least 22 hours a day wearing it 2 hours a day will just not achieve anything

also with fraser guidelines/gillick competency no-one can make a 14 year old have anything done,

mydaftlass Thu 27-Feb-14 20:58:26

Another who has paid for orthodontic treatment as an adult. My teeth are a mess, mostly as I refused to get it fully sorted as a kid. I wish my mum had made me wear my brace.

Hissy Thu 27-Feb-14 21:11:31

Sorry. I found the op almost impossible to understand fully.

His teeth are sore because he needs more treatment? Or because he has decay?

He will need decay treated.

If he wears retainers at night, he may be able to skip wearing them during the day. Yes the progress will be slower, but at least it won't worsen and it will make a difference one day.

Can you get referred to another orthodontic practice? Just to be sure that the hospital isn't failing him anyway?

Poor kid. I know it's shit to have to have stuff on your teeth, and in your mouth, but my god it's so nice when it's done.

I spent over £500 the other month, AND had NHS crowns and fillings and god knows what on top! I felt like I lived in dental surgery and periodontist offices. I was sick of the sight of dentists by the end of it!

See if you can reason with him, if you can find a way of incentivising him to carry out the course of treatment. If all else fails, then make sure he calmly understands the repercussions of his decisions.

He's 14. He could have a perfect set of gnashers by the time he goes to college with the cool girls kids!

Fusedog Thu 27-Feb-14 21:12:53

I told him the pit falls of not having it done oh is a nurse so has also told him

But he just keeps "accidentally" brakes the braces or he's simply nor waring them I can't make him wears them he's at school most of the day

He will have to deal with the fall out at a later date I will deal with any infections ECt at the dentists but me and the orthodontist are finished

Fusedog Thu 27-Feb-14 21:17:28

No he has a underbite so he wears the retainer to bring his bottom jaw forward he also has a few teeth to many


He won't wear the braces kept braking them they are £75 a pop at one point hissy we had to borrow the money to get the new one he broke two in one month

Oh is a nurse tried taking to him and about the implications.

One time I tried to take him he made such a fuss I nearly crashed my car

TeacupDrama Thu 27-Feb-14 21:48:12

wearing them just a night mostly does not work as for 8 hours theyare held in right place and for 16 they can move most braces need wearing 24/7 some you are supposed to remove for sport and eating but wear 22 hours

a retainer strictly speaking is something worn when treatment is finsihed to stop it relapsing so often are full time for 3 months then night time for 3 months , if an appliance is actively trying to move teeth it is not a retainer OP is difficult to understand at times but this appliance is supposed to move his jaw into alignment so is not a retainer in conventional sense and will not work being worn a few hours a day even for years a brace worn more than 50% of time might work eventually but the longer treatment lasts the more likely it is that co-operation will fail

if he has actual toothache he needs to go back to his own dentist as orthodontists do not deal with toothache when the origin is not orthodontic, but even then if he is adamant he does not want treatment it can not be forced on him, frustrating for parent and dentist but sometimes you just have to leave stuff until patient is amenable

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