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To want a wife?

(31 Posts)
softlysoftly Thu 27-Feb-14 00:41:41

Preferably circa 1950.

Not one of these rubbish modern ones that want to swan about having jobs and drinking wine and having a social life.

Seriously my house is a wreck, my children are semi feral and all I want to come home to is considering what to watch next on Netflix while stuffing creme eggs in my mouth and incubating the next monster to join the menagerie.

It can't just be me that wants one surely?

FamiliesShareGerms Thu 27-Feb-14 00:43:20

I've always said every woman needs a wife.

HadABadDay2014 Thu 27-Feb-14 00:47:23

Move to stepford I hear that this is the best place where men can be be men and women have perfect homes and bake cupcakes and go to book groups. They all look amazing as well for when the men folk come home.

MummyBeerest Thu 27-Feb-14 00:51:35


I want a beer served to me when I get home and sit and read the news in peace, dammit.

FlippingWhatsername Thu 27-Feb-14 00:52:37

I don't think you're ever likely to find a wife, to be honest. Better settle for a nice hairy husband and a WoW account.

FlippingWhatsername Thu 27-Feb-14 00:54:23

I can sell you a seagull if you like? You could marry that?

EBearhug Thu 27-Feb-14 00:54:54

I've often said I want a wife. Or staff, but I can't afford to pay them, which is getting into slavery, and that's wrong.

EatSleepLaughLove Thu 27-Feb-14 01:14:47


I'd love a wife - housekeeper, cleaner, childminder, cook, bookkeeper, PA all rolled into one, and likely also bringing additional income into the household as fulfilling all these jobs in her 'spare' time.

EurotrashGirl Thu 27-Feb-14 01:47:27

There is a famous feminist essay entitled "I want a wife" by Judy Syfers.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 27-Feb-14 01:57:26

All I want is somewhere for everyone in my family to store their brains. They all store them in my head and it's getting crowded. If they could just remember their own appointments and clashes I would be happy. I need a wife for that.

fairyfuckwings Thu 27-Feb-14 01:57:28

I want one too. One who would take off my coat, pour me a G&t and ask me about my day whilst keeping the excited children at bay until I was ready to receive them. I want Mary Poppins. I really do. Or nanny mcphee. She would be pretty awesome too.

fairyfuckwings Thu 27-Feb-14 01:58:57

I don't even like gin to be honest. Or tonic. But it would be nice to have the option nonetheless.

LettertoHermioneGranger Thu 27-Feb-14 02:05:53

A friend was telling me about her young daughter reading a book, which happened to feature two mums.

The daughter goes, "There are two mummies in this book!"

"Yes dear."

"But that isn't right! You can't have two mummies! It isn't right!" Friend freezes, unsure how she has unintentionally raised a bigoted child and wondering how to proceed. "Er, what makes you say that, dear?"


Won't somebody think of the children? A wife for every mother, I say.

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat Thu 27-Feb-14 04:00:19

Will half of one do?

Or are you greedy and entitled enough to want a whole one for yourself grin?

Ericaequites Thu 27-Feb-14 04:10:53

I have an albatross you could marry, but she doesn't come with wafers.
I'm a lesbian who would like a wife who can mow lawns...

YankeeMum8 Thu 27-Feb-14 04:21:32

YANBU!!! I want one too!

kentishgirl Mon 03-Mar-14 13:09:33

I've almost got one gloat

OH works funny shifts and is at home 2 or 3 days a week while I'm working. When I get in on those days he's done all the housework, the kettle is on with a teabag waiting in my special cup for him to make it, and dinner's in the oven. :-)

JennySense Mon 03-Mar-14 13:24:45

I've kind of got one - DH is my house husband. I've had to relax some standards [like the youngest DD wearing clothing that actually matches] but other than that, he cooks dinner, brings me coffee in bed, does the school runs...
[But then I do work every hour I've got running a business, so if he didn't the house would implode]

Apatite1 Mon 03-Mar-14 13:40:03

A wife would be awesome.

But really, housework is mostly boring so husband and I have divided the tasks up a long time ago. So he has a wife that cooks and does laundry and I have a wife that washes dishes, cleans rooms (and loos!) and takes out the rubbish. It makes us both feel looked after.

eurochick Mon 03-Mar-14 13:47:14

I agree OP, it would be awesome. No wonder (some) men resisted feminism. They had it so good!

Pobblewhohasnotoes Mon 03-Mar-14 13:52:50

We're creme eggs around in the 1950s?

pluCaChange Mon 03-Mar-14 14:05:23

I would compromise on not outsourcing everything, but I would like someone to do all the laundry and the shopping/cooking. With that sorted, I'd even hoover and clean bathrooms with good grace. At least they don't have to be done several times a day, every bloody day!

CheckpointCharlie Mon 03-Mar-14 14:07:11

flippinWhatshername confused and grin

BertieBotts Mon 03-Mar-14 14:10:07

Surely they should have invented some kind of gadget that does the wifework by now?

I want a wife-droid. It would make DH happy as well because he would be able to fiddle with the new technology.

BuzzardBird Mon 03-Mar-14 14:12:13

I have a wife who does all wait, that's a mirror sad

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