To have asked this lady if she'd like to join us for a coffee?

[endlesstidying]

Genuinely not sure here. Maybe it was too much too soon, maybe she was just very shy?

DD's school is just next to a park which has a lovely cafe. As it was a nice day, a group of us took our children there after school (all year 3 so 7 and 8 year olds in school uniform if it matters). While we were there one of DD's friends saw a girl who'd just spent the day at the school with them on some kind of induction day as she's starting there at the start of next term. The girl was immediately dragged off to play with dd and friends - all in sight of the cafe leaving her mum alone.

After a brief discussion with other mums I went over and asked new girls mum if she'd like to come and join us for a coffee while the girls playe. She said "no thanks, I'm not a charity case" and stormed off to sit by herself on a bench.

What on earth was that about? We were only trying to be friendly. I've been lucky so far that DD has not needed to change school and that the parents in her year group are generally very friendly so maybe I missed something?

So AIBU to have asked?

[whois]

No you were totally not being U!

Other mother is strange and is stay well clear of her in future.

[AlpacaYourThings]

I think it was a lovely gesture.

Think she was having a bad day or was feeling embarrassed about being alone...

[tassisssss]

Flip what an odd reaction.

I think you're lovely to have asked. I would have done the same. I would been ETERNALLY grateful if I'd been her and you'd asked me to join you (funny how we show "love" in the way we wanna receive it isn't it?).

You're NBU.

She sounds like she might be struggling, hope she's OK. If I was her I'd be delighted my dd had such lovely including new friends.

[Cranky01]

It was a really nice of you to ask her. Yanbu she was

[Judyandherdreamofhorses]

Maybe the 'brief discussion with the other mums' was not as discreet as you'd have hoped?

[PrincessScrumpy]

Hmmmm wonder what happened at the previous school? Yanbu

[Hassled]

I'd have bitten your arm off in gratitude. And I bet the mother will regret her behaviour - I bet it was the embarrassment talking.

[TSSDNCOP]

Throwing her a small bone, is there any chance she may have heard the discussion part? Was there anything at all in that which could be interpreted by her as a slight?

If no, I conclude she's a bit odd and would leave her to her own devices.

[Bunbaker]

Goodness. If I had been her I would have been pathetically grateful at the friendly gesture. You sound lovely.

[puntasticusername]

You were not at all unreasonable to ask. She sounds perhaps a little shy and nervous?

Personally, I'd give it a while and then ask her again. Maybe sometime when you're on you're own - it's possible she felt intimidated by the idea of joining a whole group of people who already know each other.

[RestingActress]

Wow at her reaction. As someone who has switched their DCs schools, I would have fallen at your feet in gratitude at being made so welcome. She has a chip on her shoulder about something clearly. OP you are lovely

[endlesstidying]

Don't think it was that Judy the discussion was

Mum a : shall we ask her mum to join us
Other mums variously along the lines of: yes let be nice to get to know her
Mum b: Endless you're nearest the door you go

So I went. Don't think she heard it anyway as we were some distance from her inside the building but overlooking the girls IYSWIM. She was outside

[AlpacaYourThings]

Just thinking, was there any "Ooh look at X's mum on her own" "Ooh yeah, shall we invite her over?" That she could have heard?

[TwelveLeggedWalk]

Crikey, nowt so strange as folk.
I'd give her another chance if the situation arises though, she might have a lot going on in her life. Or not, but I'd give the benefit of the doubt.

[KittyAndTheFontanelles]

You were not being unreasonable but I agree with Judy (cracking name!)

I reckon she heard you.

[SirChenjin]

What did you say in your 'brief discussion' and was there any chance she might have heard? Need to know before I can say Yanbu/yabu

[AlpacaYourThings]

X-posted.

Right, I don't get it. My vote goes to her being shy though.

[KittyAndTheFontanelles]

oops sorry. too slow

[PurpleAlert]

Sorry but that is just plain rude. Makes no difference if she is shy or embarrassed.

Just rude...

[WorraLiberty]

I really wish these things happened to me, but they just don't?!?

YANBU, very weird.

[SirChenjin]

Sorry - x posts. No, sounds like a perfectly normal thing to ask her, but a strange reaction. Either she's bonkers or something else is bothering her and she's taking her frustrations out on you.

[WorraLiberty]

Shy? Dear god she sounds anything but shy.

[Lomaamina]

I think what you did was lovely.

[RobinSparkles]

How lovely of you. I found it really hard when my DD changed school, so different to when they start reception and nearly all the mums are "new". I hated standing on my own in the playground when all the other mums knew each other. I would have been so grateful for someone like you!

You were being kind and friendly, she was being weird!