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AIBU?

To keep ds in a rear facing seat?

226 replies

Edenviolet · 25/02/2014 09:09

Dh thinks so as ds2 (22months) fusses and cries a lot and dh thinks his legs are "squashed up".
He wants to turn the seat round so that ds can see more and might not get as upset in his car seat.

Dh said it won't make a difference and that he drives carefully but I pointed out that it might not be dh that causes an accident heaven forbid one happens and that it all depends where the impact is etc and so if rear facing is meant to be safer I want to keep ds that way.

Dh thinks I'm being over protective and has said he is concerned about ds legs being so restricted.

AIBU

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mymiraclebubba · 25/02/2014 09:10

Over 20lbs I think it's actually safer for them to travel forwards tbh

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GingerRodgers · 25/02/2014 09:12

Op YANBU. Has he done any research? We're one of the worst countries for forward facing before it's safe.

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Edenviolet · 25/02/2014 09:12

Ds2 is about 18 lbs so maybe I will change him to forward facing when he is 20lbs, I wasn't sure of the weight limit for rear facing but now I know I can tell dh!

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TheScience · 25/02/2014 09:13

Why would you think that mymiracle?

I think you both have a point OP - rear facing still is safer but at almost 2 it's probably marginal. If your DS is distressed rear facing then I can understand your DH wanting to turn him round.

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Tailtwister · 25/02/2014 09:13

YANBU. Point him in the direction of the forward facing vs rear facing crash test on Youtube.

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Edenviolet · 25/02/2014 09:14

I can see that his legs are a bit squashed as he is tall but, given the choice (and a horrible choice it is) I'd rather he ended up with his legs hurt than a more serious injury from being in the wrong stage/wrong direction facing seat.

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McPheezingMyButtOff · 25/02/2014 09:15

New regulations state rear facing until 15 months, but its much safer to keep rear facing for as long as possible. Forward facing, there is much higher statistics for severe damage to the Childs neck and internal organs from the harness.

Well done on doing the best to protect your child. You're quite right in your thinking.

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Edenviolet · 25/02/2014 09:15

All dcs have fussed and cried in their seats and I think he would do the same facing forwards to be honest.
Dh just keeps going on about his legs looking uncomfortable.

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YokoUhOh · 25/02/2014 09:16

I've just bought a rear-facing seat designed to accommodate DS until the age of 4. YANBU.

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TheScience · 25/02/2014 09:16

Are you sure he's 18lbs? That's off the bottom of the charts for a 22 month old.

20lbs (9kg) is the lightest you can legally turn them forward facing - average size of a 9 month old. It doesn't mean it's safe at that age/size and certainly not safer than keeping a baby rear facing.

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mymiraclebubba · 25/02/2014 09:17

From having had discussions with various professionals regarding when it is safe to move my dd to forward facing.

The law states that up until 20lbs they must be in rear facing (was 18 but apparently has recently been increased). And the advice I was given was that it doesn't matter if their legs are squashed up etc it is down to weight not length.

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Pobblewhohasnotoes · 25/02/2014 09:17

Rear facing is safer but you have to weigh it up. My DS hated being rear facing and although we turned him round as late as we could, his screaming and crying made driving really stressful and distracting, which isn't safe either. As soon as we turned him round he was happy. We do a lot of motorway journeys so it meant a happier time for everyone.

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McPheezingMyButtOff · 25/02/2014 09:18

I'm shocked every day at the number of parents who think a child needs to face forwards. Its all about education and having all the facts available, and until companies start to comply with the new isize regulations, its a losing battle.

(I do this for a living)

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Edenviolet · 25/02/2014 09:18

He's very tiny, tall but very thin, ds1 is the same (he's 7 and weighs 3stone 3lbs) so I think they are just naturally slight. Most of his clothes are 9-12 months. Another reason why I want to keep him rear facing as he seems so little still

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TheScience · 25/02/2014 09:18

mymiracle - which professionals? I have never heard of anyone suggesting a 9kg baby is safer forward facing.

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TheScience · 25/02/2014 09:19

In that case Hedgehog you cannot legally put him in a forward facing seat yet, he doesn't weigh enough.

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McPheezingMyButtOff · 25/02/2014 09:20

I would hope no professional would. Oh except babies R us, their renound for the wrong info Hmm

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MrsKCastle · 25/02/2014 09:24

Yanbu. My DD2 is 2.8 and still travels rear-facing. I think DD1 started FF at around 3- and then only because she reached the weight limit. (We have a combi seat rather than extended RF).

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HavantGuard · 25/02/2014 09:27

Sweden requires rear facing child seats until the child is 26kg or 4 years old. You'll find they have better seats for older DC. They also have a stunningly low rate of serious injury or fatality of children in car accidents.

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Poloholo · 25/02/2014 09:32

Yanbu. DC is rear facing at over two in a large seat and will stay there until it is outgrown which should be 3-4.

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HappyAsASandboy · 25/02/2014 09:36

My twins are rear facing at 3.5 years and are perfectly comfortable. They see everything I point out to them (I just had to get used to pointing out as it passed me rather than in advance!) and can see all sorts out of the rear windscreen.

I was convinced by the crash test videos on YouTube and by //childcarseats.org.uk. My children will stay rear facing as long as they can fit in a rear facing seat (25kg or whenever they're too tall). I expect this to be when they're about 6 years.

Having recently suffered severe whiplash in a minor rear end shunt (three months off work so far, still can't lift my kids, still can't push shopping trolley ...) I would keep all children rear facing as long as possible. It doesn't matter which way the accident happens, your car will almost certainly be moving forwards in impact (there are very few high speed crashes when you're reversing Wink )and whiplash could kill your children. The movement causing whiplash is almost entirely prevented by a rear facing seat.

If your DH is worried about leg room and visibility, I heartily recommend the BeSafe IZI seats (there are a few models to do isofix/belted/max 18kg/max 25kg). They are held away from the back seat by a rebound bar, so there is lots of space, and they're high, so the kids have a great view from the window. They're pricey though. If price is an issue, the Britax Two Way Elite is a fab seat, though less high so view is more restricted. I've heard good things about the rear facing Joie seats too, though haven't seen them in real life (they're cheaper still).

Please don't forward face your child until you have made yourself look at the crash test videos. Then you're making an informed decision.

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ReadyToPopAndFresh · 25/02/2014 09:37

We just turned ds around, 24 months exactly. I wasn't happy (dh had been trying to get him around for ages because he is also v tall) but to be honest.. He really was quite squashed. He weighs double what your baby does. And is in size 3-4 clothes. SO I think that's the difference. If he were the size of a one year old he'd sure as hell still be rear facing..

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worldgonecrazy · 25/02/2014 09:39

Tell your husband to google internal decapitation. He will rapidly change his mind about forward facing.

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Burren · 25/02/2014 09:40

I can't remember exactly when we turned our toddler around, but what I do remember is how many people (including other parents and childcare professionals) remarked on him 'still' being rear-facing when he can't have been more than 12 months.

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Edendance · 25/02/2014 09:44

I'm planning on rear facing until 4. I've seen the statistics and the evidence from other countries and I really think it's a no brainer tbh.

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