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AIBU?

To ask how much sleep you had when your babies were tiny?

63 replies

missmargot · 25/02/2014 09:02

I have to start by saying that I am probably BU a little as my baby isn't a big crier (so far) and I know others have it worse than me.... But I am exhausted.

DS is six weeks old and mixed fed. I am averaging five hours sleep a night, broken into two stints. Last night I slept from 10:30 until 1:30 then from 3:00 until 5:30. DS and I went back to bed at 6:30 but only dozed. I struggle to nap during the day as I am doing a few freelance hours every day plus helping DH with our business, which isn't ideal but unfortunately essential at the moment.

I was managing ok but this last week I feel exhausted in a way I didn't know was possible and six weeks of limited sleep has finally caught up on me.

Is five hours at night normal/good/bad? Any tips on how to stay sane?

OP posts:
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littlemslazybones · 25/02/2014 09:06

Ds3 is 6 weeks old. We get 10pm-12:30 1am-2:30 then hour stints till 6:30am.

I do OK if I get a nap midday but if I miss it I find the stress of the evening fussing/crying gets to me more.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 25/02/2014 09:08

I think what you're describing sounds normal to me. Luckily I perfected the art of warming a bottle, feeding and changing whilst not totally waking myself up at the same time... and I can recommend the soothing murmurings of the BBC World Service .... so got the whole process down to a slick 20 mins or so. Went to bed at 7pm a few times, however.

What you should find is that the 1:30 waking starts to go back. When you can get five to six hours straight you're golden. :) Good luck

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amandine07 · 25/02/2014 09:08

I have a 7 week old- would say the hours you're getting are pretty normal.

For me, I go bed early, partner does the late feed then I'm up by 2am with broken sleep until about 8am when me and baby tend to get up for the day.

Need to start getting into a routine- for me, that will preserve my sanity!

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WilsonFrickett · 25/02/2014 09:08

That sounds about right I'm afraid Thanks Sorry OP!

I used to go to bed around 830 to grab an extra couple of hours, which really helped. Mind you, I also napped for Britain.

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Dollslikeyouandme · 25/02/2014 09:10

It doesn't sound too bad for a 6 week old. I'm sure ds was about the same, he had the odd morning of sleeping from 5.30-8.00am so I'd get a few extra hours.

It is hard but try to grab even just an hour in the day if you can.

It will get better, one day you'll wake up and be shocked that he's slept in later, or only woken up once, and eventually all the way through.

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Bumbershoot · 25/02/2014 09:10

Yep sounds about right. Could you go to bed a bit earlier? I ended up going to bed at a silly time just to catch up a bit.

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Timpani · 25/02/2014 09:11

I'd say it's pretty normal to be honest. May I ask how you're feeding? If breastfeeding, feeding laying down has saved me! I feel so much more rested because I can doze during feeds but it took me ages and ages to master with ds1 (10 weeks). I've done it from birth this time with dd (4 weeks).

Sympathies x

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ahlahktuhflomp · 25/02/2014 09:11

Give or take a few minutes, none.

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poppins30 · 25/02/2014 09:13

LO was breastfed so ex couldn't help with night feeds until he was older, he would wake up every 1-2 hours in the first few weeks. I was so exhausted it made me sob sometimes.

Hang in there, it might seem like it's not going to get better but it will!

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amandine07 · 25/02/2014 09:13

When I say I go to bed 'early' I mean about 10pm.

Now at a point where the previous weeks are catching up on me- think I need to bring my bedtime forward to 8pm.
However, this would mean almost no together time with the OH...hoping things will get better soon & that LO starts sleeping for longer stretches!

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worldgonecrazy · 25/02/2014 09:14

I had a lot more sleep because I went to bed early. There's a saying that an hour before midnight is worth two after, and I think it's true, so I went to bed with DD about 8.30 ish most nights. We coslept - DD on a cot side-car attached to our bed so she had her own space, and breastfed. Most nights I managed a good stretch, waking up about 11 3 and 6 for feeds but then straight back to sleep.

If you're mix-feeding then your partner could do the first night feed.

Throw the clock away and accept that "adult bedtime" is a thing of the past for the next few months.

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Melonbreath · 25/02/2014 09:14

I got no sleep for a few months. I was a walking zombie who had to go downstairs sitting down as I was so dizzy and lightheaded.
It does get better!

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HappyAsASandboy · 25/02/2014 09:16

That sleeping pattern sounds pretty normal to me, and in fact it is similar to the pattern my babies settled in to from about 4 months (and stayed in until 2.5 years) mine would sleep 7.30pm until 12.30am, then 1am until 3.30am, and then 4am until 5.30am/6am.

If you can't sleep in the day (because of understandable work pressures) then I think you need to make good use of the early part of the evening. Could you make an effort to go to bed at 8pm three or four nights a week? It would really help.

I know it is difficult to accept losing your evenings with your partner, but this is probably a necessary consequence of you working while your baby is so little. I managed to stay awake most evenings when on maternity leave, but once I was back at work and unable to sleep in the day, I needed those long three hour stretches from 8pm until 12pm.

Good luck! And you will adapt to less sleep as the months go on! Never before babies did I describe three hours as a long stretch of sleep!

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pianodoodle · 25/02/2014 09:19

I breastfeed our 6 week old.

We go to bed shortly after our toddler goes! We go to sleep about 9pm. Baby has a feed around 12.30-1am and again at about 3.30 - 4am then we get up about 6.45am for breakfast feed same time DD gets up.

Not too bad at all as he goes down well after his feeds and sometimes only wakes once.

DD was totally different she woke all night long!

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Tailtwister · 25/02/2014 09:20

Mine never slept for more than a few hours at a time without bf at that age. I used to go to bed at about 8pm and DH would have them through with him until they wanted to be fed at around 10. Then it was a pattern of every few hours through the night.

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ThatBloodyWoman · 25/02/2014 09:21

Sounds normal, op.

It should soon get better.

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Scoobyblue · 25/02/2014 09:27

My dd was breastfed and was just like this - screamed all evening and then was up and down all night. I felt dizzy and lightheaded the whole time I was so tired.

Then, at 6 weeks it changed. She still screamed all evening but then slept for a good seven hours at night. It was like a miracle! I realise that this is probably pretty good going and most newborns take longer to settle into a sleep pattern - but it does happen and eventually they become teenagers and you can't get them out of bed......

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Homebirthquestion · 25/02/2014 09:37

You're hitting the six week wall which has always been our lowest point. (I hope since dc3 is six weeks).

What we've learnt is that dh sleeps in the spare room, I co sleep and if there's any settling to be done after a feed, dh does it. Our night might be

10pm- feed, I sleep from 10:30
12:30, feed, I sleep from 1
3:30 feed, won't settle, dh settles and I sleep from 4 until next feed at six/ sevenish.
This works well because even though dh does the grim settling for up to two hours, he's usually had a nice long stretch from ten to four or more so he's ahead of the game.

Dh also then gets up at seven with the other dc.

We're both getting more sleep doing it this way.

It's grim but hopefully that first feed will stretch out soon and that's when you have your deepest sleep so it really helps.

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magimedi · 25/02/2014 09:38

eventually they become teenagers and you can't get them out of bed......

And the joy of waking them never abates! Grin

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purplemurple1 · 25/02/2014 09:38

We mixed fed OH slept 2100 to 230 , I slept 300 to 800 although from 600 the baby was with me as OH had to leave for work. If I needed to I got a couple of hours when he got in from work at 1800.
I didn't nap in the day as I was working pt from home.

I think the key is accepting little couple time and that it will improve soon.

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carolinecupcake · 25/02/2014 09:50

When they were so young and breastfeeding I used to lie down with them in our bed- that way we all got some sleep. Of course that meant that for a few years there were 4 of us in the bed!Some people might not agree and say that they should learn to sleep on their own but the most important thing in my opinion is that you get enough sleep so that you can make it through the day.Also try and nap when your baby does. Don't worry it won't always be like this!

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harriet247 · 25/02/2014 09:55

That sounds totally normal sorry :( only advice i can give is to sleep in the day too, its not the end of the world if the house isnt sparkly clwan and you hair is greasy :) look after yourself, make sure you are eating enough and of the right things, and when all else fails berocca and redbull is your knight in shining armour, it gets much easier after 3 months

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NotSoChicAfterAll · 25/02/2014 09:56

I had more sleep when DD was 6 weeks than now she's 24 weeks!
From 5 weeks she slept 10ish-7am, we were extremely lucky and it carried on that way for a about 3 months, then all of a sudden she started getting up in the night, last night she was up and down from 1:30am-6am constantly.
These days I sometimes have a sleep in the day, and try and keep busy, that way your not thinking about how tired you are. I find if I go for a walk it wakes me up, and it seems like such an effort when your knackered but when I come back I've got some energy

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CrazyOldCatLady · 25/02/2014 10:00

It was like that for us for the first few weeks of DD's life. I actually used to start crying around 3 in the afternoon because there was another night coming and I didn't think I could stand it. It got to the stage where I actually couldn't sleep, even when DD did.

It sounds terrible but when DS was born he was in hospital for the first month and even though I was demented with worry about him, I was actually in better shape emotionally than I had been with DD because I was able to sleep at night.

It does get better soon, it really does.

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Joysmum · 25/02/2014 10:00

DD would have her last feed at about 11:30 and then I'd go to bed. She'd then wake at about 4:30 and I'd pop her into bed with bed where she'd help herself whilst I tended to doze and then not wake again till 8:30. I was very lucky she was always a good sleeper from the start.

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