Ok there is a lot of background to this as I don't want to drip feed.
Please don't flame me as I have had an absolutely terrible year, am told I am constantly run down and this is affecting my health.
Was going to name change but haven't.
I am currently separated from h after being married 20 years plus together for longer. Have 3 dcs eldest 17.
h left and it has not been easy but now I am living life as a single person and moving forward in all aspects of my life.
Straight away I knew I wanted to be with someone for many reasons, not least to experience being loved and wanted by a man. sounds pathetic but my ex never put me first and it was heartbreaking having to live through that.
I have met someone and we really get on. we both felt an instant attraction and he has said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.
He is a very honest person, telling me personal things straight away, not concealing anything.
So far so good.
My dd1 doesn't like him. She has had a terriblre time coming to terms with the breakdown of her parents marriage, even though she did ask me not to have her dad back, stating that he wasn't good enough for me (again she herself told him he didn't put me first).
The reasons she gives for not liking my boyfriend are as follows:
He is fat
He is ugly
He is arrogant
He has been married before
His daughter is expecting a baby( she is a similar age to dd1)
And he isn't good enough for me and
I am happiest when I'm with my bf, and not doing stuff with her, (her own words-not mine).
When we all go out together she likes it. Then afterwards tells me she hates him and that she much prefers the ow to my bf.
I don't recat to this as she is free to spend as much time with her dad and ow as she likes. The problem is that her dad doesn't see her much and my dd1 has cried repeatedly to me over this.
Anyway yesterday a new issue came up.
Both dds dance and spend a large amount of time at dance classes.
A lady who works at the dance studio (not a teacher) gave my dd1 a lift to a dance show and must have asked how I was and was I still with my bf. DD1 obviously told her she disliked him as the woman's response was that she found him fine but would never go out with anyone whom her dcs disliked. Convenient as her kids were tiny when she met her new partner. She then proceed to tell my dd1 (in confidence!) that a number of parents had complained that I had taken a "stranger" into the dance waiting room, who could have been a peadophile!!!
The waiting area is not the changing room and you cannot see the dance studios either. Most of the people in there are mums who have been married a long time, some dads go but they aren't in "the clique" so sit looking a bit awkward.
The woman whose kids dance there too, told my dd1 not to tell me as now that I am still with bf there isn't really a problem (obviously the mums no longer view him as a paedophile!).
My dd1 made the woman tell her more and it appears the mums who complained were concerened that my bf had been looking at some of the older girls and he had looked one of the mums up and down.
I am friends with a lot of the mums there including mums of the older girls and not one of them has said anything to me. Not one dance teacher has said anything and this woman hasn't either.
I am also friends with the woman who was alledgedly looked up and down, although it wasn't her who said anything, She has my phone number and if I've seen her she always asks how things are with me anf bf, telling me how her sister is in a similar position.
I felt physically sick after hearing this. My dd1 has now referred to my bf as a pervert and a paedophile.
I must add that I have been with my bf when ever we have collected the girls from dancing. The last time he came to a show, and wasn't in the least bit interested, he sat silently checking the rugby score whilst the competitors danced.
I haven't spoken to him about it as what the hell can I say.
I feel angry with the mums as it sin't right to talk about people this way without speaking to me if there is a real problem. Not one of them has said anything to me, infact they were all very friendly with me toi my face.
Sounds a bit ridiculous written down but I was sick with worry when dd1 told me wondering if there could be any truth it what has been suggested.
Sorry this is long.
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To wonder if I'm looking at my bf through rosetinted glasses?
102 replies
feelingvunerable · 24/02/2014 17:41
OP posts:
Preciousbane ·
24/02/2014 18:16
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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