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To be feeling like a complete waste of space

(16 Posts)
Haveacwtch Mon 24-Feb-14 15:28:56


We've just returned from a cheaply weekend away. I have come back to a spotless house which was lovely. Turns out my dad spent four hours here yesterday sorting out my "disgusting" house. He didn't do it for me though apparently. He did it for my dh as he feels sorry for him living with my standards of cleaning. Lovely at it is I now feel like crap.

Also came back to a letter from the court saying that a charging order has been applied for on my house. I had a payment plan and payments were going out. It seems they were going
To the wrong place. I need to appeal this. I feel sick to my stomach. Also a final bill from the gas company we have transferred from that we owe them nearly £300.

I am worried about money anyway and this just tips me.

My diet also went to pot this weekend so I now feel like a crap, fat waste of space who can't even keep my own house clean. H is going to hit the roof when he sees the paperwork. It would mean the end of his business.

Would like to hide right now

daphnehoneybutt Mon 24-Feb-14 15:35:10

If my Dad treated me like that I wouldn't be speaking to me again until I had a massive apology, I'd get the key off him or change locks. It's a confusing, abusive fuckwitted way to treat you.

YANBU - you are not a waste of space

Sorry cannot offer more practical advice re your financial issues hope it is sorted soon.

daphnehoneybutt Mon 24-Feb-14 15:35:36

argh *wouldn't be speaking to him

FoxesRevenge Mon 24-Feb-14 15:40:09

First of all don't worry about your diet, that can be resumed any time and is not a priority.

Next, sort out your financial problems, they are the most important thing here. Speak to the relevant people involved and you will be able to work something out. Don't ignore it.

With regards to your house, why is it your job to clean. Your partner is responsible for it too. Is your father the type who thinks it's Women's Work?

Nomama Mon 24-Feb-14 15:42:35

Take a deep breath.

Sort out the 'wrong payments' first. Find out who made the mistake and ask for compensation. Do not let the word 'sorry' pass your lips.

Get onto the gas board, offer them payments, £10 per month maybe, stay strong, say no if they ask for too much.

Tell your Dad to mind his own Fing business. Take your keys off him. Do not give them back!

Now, eat chocolate! Start the diet again when all of the above are sorted.


innisglas Mon 24-Feb-14 15:42:58

Oh you poor thing. We weren't all born to be cleaners. My mother was a SAHM because in the fifties it would have reflected badly on my father if she had worked outside the home and she really wanted to. She was a lovely mother, but hopeless at housework, and suffered from depression from being locked into a job she had no talent for. I unfortunately inherited her poor housekeeping skills.

When she finally could get a job after my father left, she started at the bottom and ended up quite near the top, as she had other very good skills.
I am full of admiration for good housekeepers, but some of us just don't have it in us, but we have lots of other talents.

As for your money problems, just take a deep breath, and start into them, step by step.

DomesticDisgrace Mon 24-Feb-14 15:43:43

Meet your sister (hence the name), I'm hopeless at keeping a pristine, organised home. I much rather be outside doing things with DD, I couldn't bare the thoughts of slaving away in the evenings doing housework but I really do feel much better when things are clean and clutter free so on a Sunday when DD is with her dad I blast some music and actually really enjoy getting the place sorted. You're not a waste of space, we all have different things we excel at and mine definitely is not anything within the home!!
As for the bills, I've no advice there as I'm in a similar situation myself but the best thing to do is face these things head on and not put them to the back of your mind or you'll end up racked with worry!

ahlahktuhflomp Mon 24-Feb-14 15:46:22

It can be fixed.

YABU you aren't a waste of space.

Take a methodical approach and don't be bogged down by anything until every point has been addressed.

Also, I agree, forget the diet for now. smile

CrohnicallyFarting Mon 24-Feb-14 15:49:12

Check the final bill thoroughly if it's more than you expected. When I switched from a major gas and electricity supplier, they messed up my final bill so it was higher than it ought to be. Took me a while to sort, but iirc it was reduced by about 1/3. I paid it off £10 per month as well.

You also need to find out where the house payments have been going to, and see if you can recoup some of the money. As a pp says, find out why it happened as it may not have been your fault- in which case why should you be penalised for it?

maras2 Mon 24-Feb-14 15:50:03

Your dad needs to mind his own business. Sounds as if the financial problem's are mistakes that can be corrected.As others have said there's lots of advice here and check out the MSE boards too.Sod the diet for the time being and look after yourself as best you can.As to H's possible kicking off , try to capitalise on your nice weekend away and sit down together and try to work through or formulate some plan together. Good luck.

frogslegs35 Mon 24-Feb-14 16:24:07

Yabu - you're not a waste of space.

OMG! tell your dad to fuck off and take his pity elsewhere.

The missing payments can be traced, you'll have proof of the payments leaving the account so although a pita, it's sortable.

The final bill.
Call the gas company query the final reads. If it is correct then arrange a payment plan. Tell them you're skint at the moment and can they set you up on a card pay plan for the minimum amount (have a figure in your head ready). Tell them you'll pay more the months you can afford to.
They'll tell you to repay it quickly, but 12 months is a pretty standard timescale.
For final bills they're more relaxed and less strict, they simply just want to recover the bill.

Your diet.
Get back on track asap, you'll feel better for it.

frogslegs35 Mon 24-Feb-14 16:34:37

I missed your post Chronically
This happens all of the time.
The reason = (yes in a small % of times it genuinely is accidental)
New company want to look 'cheaper' so will amend the final read from old supplier. simply so it doesn't look like you've used that much.
It's actually not the fault of old energy provider as the new provider is obligated to inform the old one and provide the reads to enable account closure.
It really doesn't effect the customer at this point as you've still used the energy. Today though there can be significant difference in tariff prices between companies so it's well worth taking meter reads and finding out exactly when (date) the new company will take over. Then if you have any issues they can't argue with you and should amend.
I've been out of the energy business for a few years now but it still seems as though they're playing this game.

Sorry for derail op.

Haveacwtch Mon 24-Feb-14 20:40:55

Thanks all

I have spoken to the solicitor and need to transfer it to a local court to speak to the judge. Feeling a bit better now. Was not what I needed today!

CrohnicallyFarting Mon 24-Feb-14 20:57:04

frogslegs the meter reading was only part of it- they also applied a huge price rise which shouldn't have been applied as I had informed them of my intention to move suppliers. They then called me a liar as they had no record of a price rise during that time (strange, as I had the letter in front of me). Though they did reduce the bill 'as a good will gesture'.

Interestingly, the meter reading that old company had supposedly taken was actually higher than the meter was reading when I sorted it all out- several months after the move. They still tried to squirm out of it! (I had taken meter readings myself at the time, but they didn't believe me)- what you are saying certainly makes sense but I thought it was just the company being incompetent given the other mistakes they made.

To top it all, they failed to take the money via DD when they said they would (and I never thought to check, so managed to spend the money earmarked for the bill), so I got a final demand months later, hence me needing to pay by instalments- I had a payment card that I could use at any shop with the pay point station and it would be taken off the amount I owed. Actually, had they taken the amount when they said, I probably wouldn't have checked the bill so thoroughly and spotted the mistakes.

All this happened several years ago. So imagine my amusement when I got a cheque through the post a few months back, with an apology along the lines of 'we're sorry we applied a price rise when we shouldn't have, here's the money you overpaid'.

CrohnicallyFarting Mon 24-Feb-14 20:58:14

OP hope you get it sorted quickly, it's horrible having things hanging over your head, isn't it?

frogslegs35 Wed 26-Feb-14 11:02:36

Glad you're feeling a bit better OP


Glad you eventually got sorted too.

as a goodwill gesture haha!
Allow me to translate -

'Shit! We know we're in the wrong and we fucked up, please have some money back because we're terrified of Ofgem/Energy Ombudsman and don't wish to be fined for treating customers like shite' smile

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