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You get out all your old baby things, give them to dad and then he'll bring them over and I'll pick what I want

(40 Posts)
HuiledOlive Mon 24-Feb-14 13:15:04

Is this a reasonable answer to 'do you want to borrow anything for the new baby'?

My youngest is 8, the baby things are not carefully filed away for when Princess Sister had a baby, they are instead randomly scattered in lofts, sheds and with other friends who've borrowed them.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off that I'm expected to get EVERYTHING out, she can't even come and get it herself and I'll be getting the rejects back! Oh and I am recovering from cancer (not seen dsis throughout my illness)!

I'm happy to dig out some items but this seems too much to me. They are far from struggling financially so I expect there will be a good deal she doesn't want.

DoJo Mon 24-Feb-14 13:21:44

There seems to be a lot of this going on at the moment. I think you would be reasonable to ask what kind of items she needs and you'll look them out - there's no point getting loaned items back from friends if she's just going to cast her entitled eye over them and send them straight back! She does realise that you're doing her a favour right? And she should be grateful, rather than making more work for you? I would be tempted to grab the nearest bag of stuff you're sure you don't want back and send it along with a message to keep it all up her arse!. Are you ordinarily close? Could she have gone secretly crazy whilst pregnant or is she always like this?

MotherOfInsomniacToddlers Mon 24-Feb-14 13:22:29

I wouldn't bother doing anything! She's obviously not that interested!

NigellasDealer Mon 24-Feb-14 13:25:43

tell her you haven't got time! sorry!
she did not support you through your illness, why should you not only give her free stuff but put yourself out for it?
if you are really feeling soft, do what dojo said, just send the nearest bag of stuff over and tell her to take what she doesnt want to the nearest charity shop.
cheeky biatch

MiniSoksMakeHardWork Mon 24-Feb-14 13:26:08

"Oh I'm ever so sorry, it appears a mouse got in the loft/shed/garage and has nibbled at it." Saves you the hassle if telling her to get stuffed and the inevitable family fallout. By the way you refer to her as 'princess' I imagine she is the much spoilt baby sister who is used to having her own way.

Only give or lend what you are prepared to. If this is nothing, then fine. She sounds hard work by asking for everything rather than 'do you have a Moses basket/bouncy chair/some clothes I can borrow/you want rid of'

StrawberryGashes Mon 24-Feb-14 13:27:52

Tell her you've changed your mind as it would be too much trouble at the moment to go find all the stuff.

MothratheMighty Mon 24-Feb-14 13:27:58

Tell her they are all out on loan to friends.
If she's a princess, then she will want all new anyway, won't she?

HuiledOlive Mon 24-Feb-14 13:30:28

I'm minded not to bother just now <feeling really cheesed off>

sebsmummy1 Mon 24-Feb-14 13:30:37

Agree there is probably a whole back story here and this is merely the straw or one of the straws that sent the camel mental.

I dint think she's that fussed either. Just tell her what you've told us. Things aren't all in one place so to gather everything up together would take a huge effort and you're not up to it health wise at the moment.

If however there is something she specifically needs that you know you have, you will see if you can lay your hands on it.

HuiledOlive Mon 24-Feb-14 13:31:32

Mothra - I think she will want all new. I can't imagine her usin

HuiledOlive Mon 24-Feb-14 13:32:45

.... My old tatty stuff!

Her dh is well off (specically chosen!!)

MothratheMighty Mon 24-Feb-14 13:34:18

No worries then, I hope your friends appreciate your generosity more.
I lent out my stuff to all and sundry, I doubt I have anything left except the bits that OH made specially.

Zamboni Mon 24-Feb-14 13:34:36

I'd go with the mouse ate it all!

It sounds like she probably thinks it is all already sorted and it would be easier for you to give it to someone else to sort out rather than have to sort through it all yourself.

I'd just say "Sorry that will take me ages, it's all over the place. Is there anything in particular you need?"

Aeroflotgirl Mon 24-Feb-14 13:37:27

I would just say you gave them away sorry. She did not bother about you during your serious illness, what sort of person is she! Why should you bother.

RamblingRosieLee Mon 24-Feb-14 13:41:20

Just say NO.

I presume they realise your stuff is all over the place.

Gently let her down, say " I went to look for X and I actually think I remember now, we gave it away...and I couldn't find B, so its best you get your own stuff."

hoppingmad Mon 24-Feb-14 13:41:29

Crazy pregnant people get on my nerves. When dsis was pregnant I gave her all of my old baby things, seemed logical and I thought no more of it.
Fast forward several years and I am pregnant with twins - dsis gives me a load of baby stuff (so far so good) then, after already giving her a load of presents for her family for Christmas she says "you aren't getting anything as I gave you all those baby things". Fair enough except it turns out to be everything i gave her AND she promptly states she wants it back as she is pregnant again. So, knowing how fussy she is I don't bother using any as she will complain about something - all is returned and I then get a phonecall moaning about missing sleep suits!! Argh, sorry for the rant but I've never mentioned it to anyone in rl and it's festered!!

I now give all my items to social services, they are much more appreciative!!

RamblingRosieLee Mon 24-Feb-14 13:41:54

yes I do think its a pretty standard answer!

HuiledOlive Mon 24-Feb-14 13:46:07

Do you Rambling? I would never consider asking someone to get all their stuff out on to someone else and then pick over it.

I just wouldn't.

expatinscotland Mon 24-Feb-14 13:49:48

Tell her you got rid of everything long ago.

Quoteunquote Mon 24-Feb-14 15:12:42

Just say, "Nope, that won't work for me", repeat until she comes up with a suggestion that does work for you.

ReadyToPopAndFresh Mon 24-Feb-14 15:25:17

Do the mouse thing. Or a variation on the mouse thing. Then give it all to freecycle

HauntedNoddyCar Mon 24-Feb-14 15:31:44

Is there anything you actually want gone though? I'd send that with a note to give what she doesn't want to the charity shop. Don't look a decluttering horse in the mouth and all that.

Otherwise some vague excuse about having given it away or mouse attack is good.

PurplePidjin Mon 24-Feb-14 15:39:43

be blunt. text back "i'm fine although still weak from the chemotherapy <insert appropriate phrase> did you want to meet up now i'm out of hospital?"

but then i can be a heartless bitch wink

formerbabe Mon 24-Feb-14 15:42:15

It wouldn't bother me if my sister had a baby and wanted all my baby stuff...but I have a close relationship with her....I think there is much more to this isn't there op?

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