AIBU to vote with my feet?(34 Posts)
I think that often actions can speak louder than words.
I too consider myself assertive but I choose carefully which scenarios I speak up in, and which I just let go.
There is no getting through to some people, so I do sometimes just cut people off or distance myself from them. Sometimes it is easier that way as it avoids drama.
If I am dealt with in an insulting or "lesser" way, I challenge it there and then.
You don't have to come out with language, keep your tone steady and vocabulary vast and it is more effective, it reminds people of being in school and you keep the higher moral ground.
I am a "have it out and move on" type of person.
In terms if the bullying issue, I don't mix with people whose morals/values etc are really different from mine.
I am polite, but nothing more.
Now in that situation tangy I would have torn a strip off the tennis coach before telling him I wouldn't be using his services again. What he said to you was incredibly rude!
I vote with my feet, but I generally tell the people involved that I'm doing it and why.
Please tell them why! I have a regular customer in my shop who will not come to my till. If I'm working on my own he'll walk in, swear under his breath and walk out. I've NO idea what I've done. There are two other women I work with who I look kind of similar to (similar hair, height, glasses) so they may have upset him. However without him telling me, I'm just baffled and can't fix it.
You need a few 'lol, you are hardly Richard Gere mate' lines to come back with and then, LTB. And make sure your husband changes coach as well, no way should a penny of your hard earned cash go to him after that.
I'd have said something like "Ouch, what a rude thing to say!" to the tennis coach, and if he'd said he was only joking I'd have told him that his joke wasn't funny, that I didn't appreciate it, and that I wouldn't be using his services any longer because he was so rude.
I think you need to learn that old MN standby 'did you mean to be so rude?' and then vote with your feet. Particularly in the case of rude tennis coaches!
For the other examples you gave: with the other mother no good would have came of trying to have that out. Even the best of us are tigers when it comes to our children. Chalk it up and move on. Swimming group, I think I would have had to say something - but in the spirit of giving feedback. Rude customer service, again 'did you mean to be so rude' is great for that, often with a big smile. I've only used it in a customer service situation once, and the person caught themself on, said 'urm, actually no, I'm having a really bad day and another customer just swore at me, I'm really sorry' and then we both moved on with our days. Which I think was a good thing.
I love the mn come back of did you mean to be so rude? I've used this often. I've lost a lot of weight and for many the only way I could have done it is with a gastric band, I always use the mn comeback. (I didn't it was exercise and change of eating habits)
Nowadays, we don't have to confront people who give us bad service - we can just give our opinion of the service on review websites.
Like you, I don't often confront people who are rude etc... I used to put them on the "never-going-there-again" list. Now I just wait till I've calmed down and write a review online. Even if it never makes any difference to their business, it helps me feel better, and I don't have to have a shouting match with someone.
Wilson, what a positive experience!
"I love the mn come back of did you mean to be so rude?"
Don't you just get the reply "I wasn't being rude, just factual"?
I think it would only work on polite non confrontational people, anyone I know and most in my Home City Liverpool would give you a good answer.
Not that people are rude, I've just always thought that it's ineffectual and being a lot straighter would work, better.
I'm all for voting with your feet, but that is also why I am against all these near monopolies that are growing up around. How much choice do we have when it comes to food shopping, for example?
As for feedback? Well feedback is for people I care about or situations that might be saved. For example I was followed all around a self-service shop the other day and I told them that if that ever happened again I would never go back. It is a small local shop and they had the good grace to make sure I have never again been subjected to that indignity.
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