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Aibu to think that I just won't allow him to?

(126 Posts)
Dollslikeyouandme Mon 24-Feb-14 09:45:26

Kids on Facebook/Twitter etc.

Luckily ds is 5 so I don't have to worry for a few years yet.

But when the

Dollslikeyouandme Mon 24-Feb-14 09:47:41

Oops posted too soon.

I have a big problem with kids on Internet sites, Facebook/Twitter and such like.

Am I being realistic to think that when the time comes I will be able to put my foot down and just say no?

He's 5 so I've yet to experience the teen years where everybody else is doing something.

AnnabelleLee Mon 24-Feb-14 09:49:01

yeah good luck with that. You can control what a 5 year old does, not what a 14 year old does.

EatShitDerek Mon 24-Feb-14 09:49:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lottiedoubtie Mon 24-Feb-14 09:49:54

Stop a teen?

Yes Yabu, and as a policy that can only end in tears.

Why not just teach him to use he Internet responsibly?

macdoodle Mon 24-Feb-14 09:49:59

Hahahah yeh

teenagetantrums Mon 24-Feb-14 09:53:40

He will find a way, If you give him a basic phone, he will use his friends phones you cant stop them its better to let them and monitor their account. My teenage DD says Facebook is for old people, its all whats app these days. Im sure it will have all changed again before you have to worry about it.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Mon 24-Feb-14 09:54:49

The question is why do you want to stop him?

I sound like my mum but social media is the way the world is going now and it is far safer to teach him internet responsibility at a young age (aged 5 is a goid age to start) rather than make it a forbidden fruit that he will access behind your back and wont know how to use safely.

You are being very naive.

SomethingkindaOod Mon 24-Feb-14 09:55:09

No, your not realistic to be honest. DS is 13 and doesn't do the social networking thing by choice. Partly because he's seen the result of cyber bullying and rumours spread over FB (about him) and partly because he just prefers real life! He does occasionally play xbox online but is quite open about who he's talking to.
It's better to make them aware of the dangers and down side of FB etc rather than making it the forbidden fruit that ends up being hidden from you.
YABU, but I know how you feel, it makes me breathe easier to know that he isn't interested.

Dollslikeyouandme Mon 24-Feb-14 09:56:56

Well two things;

I don't doubt it would be much, much more difficult to control what a teenager does, but surely a parent has to up to a point?

Also you can teach your child to use Internet responsibly, but ultimately they are still young and vulnerable, you cannot stop what else is out there.

Chopchopbusybusy Mon 24-Feb-14 09:57:36

My advice would be just don't worry about it. In 10 years time social networking will have moved on and it is likely to be some not yet invented monster you need to worry about.
For those saying you can't control a teenager, I disagree. But, you are likely to have bigger battles to worry about than stuff on the Internet. So choose your battles carefully. Your DS will be easier to handle if he knows you're not trying to control his every move.

uselessinformation Mon 24-Feb-14 09:58:21

You can't stop a teenager, but I did stop mine until he was thirteen, the minimum age for Facebook.

HadABadDay2014 Mon 24-Feb-14 09:59:18

DS is 7 and is on xbox live, without it him and his friends couldn't play minecraft together. He enjoys being on the headset because he can't spell.

ATM I approve all friend request and I'm in the room with him.

Dollslikeyouandme Mon 24-Feb-14 10:00:24

If its not Facebook it will be something else by then.

I would be worried about cyber bullying and rumours rather than predatory adults, social networking seems to make it all so much easier.

Lottiedoubtie Mon 24-Feb-14 10:01:17

So what's your plan? Stop all social media usage until he hits 18?

Do you think he will magically be able to cope with it then?

YoureBeingASillyBilly Mon 24-Feb-14 10:01:44

Control yes but i'd really like to hear your reasoning, and even better, how you'll explain it to your son as a teen in a way that doesnt sound like you are just a frightened clueless parent saying "because i said so"

HadABadDay2014 Mon 24-Feb-14 10:03:08

DS also has homework set online.

Lottiedoubtie Mon 24-Feb-14 10:03:28

He can be cyber bullied without him having his own account.

I'd imagine it would be worse, knowing that people are spreading rumours about you or setting up pages to slag you off and only being able to catch a glimpse of it at school or at a friends house. Knowing that other people are talking about you but not knowing the extent.

I'm not saying that this WILL happen, just that it's equally likely whether he has his own accounts or not.

mrsjay Mon 24-Feb-14 10:03:45

might not be twitter or facebook when he is a teen good luck with THAT though grin of course you can control what a 5 year old does but at 13/14 then you eally cant and anyway there is nothing wrong with facebook if you monitor it properly when one of my dds was 13 it was bloody- bebo and MSN she was into you just need to keep tabs on it and let them use it, I am not saying all children behave online but you really cant keep them off these network sites well you can but you will have a load of hassle, the world has moved on kids do a lot of socialising on social media and x box and all the rest of it,

YoureBeingASillyBilly Mon 24-Feb-14 10:04:00

OP the only way he'll learn how to protect himself online is to get on it and practise under the watchful eye of an attentive parent.

SomethingkindaOod Mon 24-Feb-14 10:04:20

But you can't stop what is said to them in school or on the football field either. You can't protect them from everything until they're 18, at some point you have to loosen the reins and let them learn, however painful it might be to watch.
Facebook and the rest aren't evil incarnate, I use it regularly and hate this attitude of 'I don't have FB, I have a life'. Well I have both. Any dickheads on my feed get deleted because I am in control and am well aware of what is right and wrong. That's the lesson to teach your children, not 'all social network sites are bad'.
If any of my children want it at the appropriate age then fine, we will equips them with the skill to use it responsibly and safely.

SomethingkindaOod Mon 24-Feb-14 10:05:01

Lottie that is exactly what happened to my DS.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Mon 24-Feb-14 10:06:07

In your shoes i would read up on how to keep kids safe and start introducing him to the internet following all the guidelines and drumming them into him aswell every time he logs on. It will become habit for him.

BitOutOfPractice Mon 24-Feb-14 10:06:09

Ah! This kind of blithe confidence reminds me of myself so much OP. Good luck!

Seriously, you can guide, help, advise etc etc but in my experience, a blank "No" and or coercion are not good teen-wrangling strategies

mrsjay Mon 24-Feb-14 10:06:36

OP will you stop your son having a mobile phone too

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