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Best friend and her PFB 1st birthday party.

(415 Posts)
OkieDokie Mon 24-Feb-14 08:09:35

Ok so my best friends DS will be 1 in a couple of weeks. She's having a big party and I've helped her find a room and gave her some caterers numbers for the food.

She's made a few new friends from NCT and some baby groups which I'm happy about as my children are 6, 4 and 2 so probably forgotten what's like to just have a PFB.

Anyway, she told me last week that's she's got some activities like pass the parcel etc but only the one year olds can play the games. She's also renting soft play pieces and getting in some kind of face painter but again only for the 1 year olds.

She said bluntly that I was to keep my kids off the soft play stuff and make sure they don't join in. AIBU to think this is really off? There will be about 20 odd kids from 2-8 and I'm just not sure how I'll keep my 3 off the stuff. Obviously, I'll tell them not to but as I'm 7 months pregnant and I really don't need the extra pressure. The kids will be confused as every party they've been to before they have been encouraged to join in.

I don't know what to say to her and I don't want to fall out over something so silly. I think she doesn't appreciate what it's like to have older kids and wonder why she's invited people with older kids if they're expected to just sit still?

pussycatdoll Mon 24-Feb-14 08:12:13

I'd find a reason not to go tbh
Or just take the 2 year old
Sounds like she's not keen on your kids sad

apermanentheadache Mon 24-Feb-14 08:12:29

How absolutely ridiculous: the whole shebang! She is probably worried about safety. I woukdn't let your kids go TBH - it will be a nightmare trying to control them, I agree.

RhondaJean Mon 24-Feb-14 08:13:46

Eh? What? Why the blazes has she invited other kids?

I can understand concern about 1 year olds and 8 year olds on soft play together if I am being generous to her, from an injury point of view even if the big kids are careful, but is the face painter paid per face or something?

It sounds like a party for one year olds and observers and I think I would be seriously considering not going, it would be unfair on your 3.

mrstigs Mon 24-Feb-14 08:14:06

Well having 6 yo's on the soft play stuff could be a bit of a hazard for the little toddlers but is she not even putting out alternatives? Even a little craft table for everyone to enjoy would only cost a few pounds. Not fair to invite children and insist they sit at the side the while time, like the younger kids are the only 'real guests'. I'd probably send my apologies tbh.

WooWooOwl Mon 24-Feb-14 08:14:30

I wouldn't go to a party like that, it would be mean to take the older ones to a party and not let them play.

Your friend is being ridiculously PFB, just decline the invitation.

fragola Mon 24-Feb-14 08:14:53

YANBU, that is just silly. I wouldn't go - it's not fair to your children to have to watch and not join in. I'd tell her why too!

GertyD Mon 24-Feb-14 08:15:03

YANBU. Sod the party, do something else. I am sitting here trying to imagine the scenario and cringing.

ZanyMobster Mon 24-Feb-14 08:15:16

You should have said exactly that! In a nice way of course but you could ask what has she arranged for the older children? You could probably get a 6 and 8 yo to stay off but it's pretty unfair to expect a 2 yo to understand that.

How on earth do 1 yos play pass the parcel? IME it is disastrous under age 3!

pickles184 Mon 24-Feb-14 08:15:27

She can't be serious?
YADNBU she has clearly lost the plot, if you don't want older children to play at a party you don't invite them. What is she expecting them to do for the duration out of interest?
My suggestion would be to politely decline the invite on the grounds that your children won't understand why they are excluded and perhaps you can celebrate with her in a more universally child friendly environment?

eddielizzard Mon 24-Feb-14 08:16:05

it's clearly not appropriate for your kids to go. how can you invite kids to a party and then tell them they can't use anything! fucking ridiculous.

as to how you go about it, i think i'd say that as you're pg, it's too difficult to keep your kids off stuff so you are not going to bring them. go alone. hopefully one day she'll realise how ridiculous she was.

Fairenuff Mon 24-Feb-14 08:19:28

If she was my best friend, as you say in your OP, I would arrange childcare and go along to observe help.

That way there is no pressure on you to watch your own children, you can sit down and rest if you get tired, leave when you've had enough and you can also see how it all pans out and come back to let us know.

In fact, you could even do a live mn, I am sure there will loads to judge share grin

saintlyjimjams Mon 24-Feb-14 08:20:42

She clearly hasn't got the faintest idea about anyone over the age of one. I think I'd have said 'yeah good luck with that one'.

I'd just ask her outright what the children will be allowed to do. If she expects them just to watch then say it won't work so you'll bow out. Presumably she'll look back & cringe in a few years.

Lj8893 Mon 24-Feb-14 08:21:35

Wtf!!!! I wouldn't go.

bella411 Mon 24-Feb-14 08:21:44

I wouldn't bother going as she obviously doesn't want your kids there.

I think she is very mean only having stuff for 1 year olds and the other children get to sit and watch how lovely not. Though I think she is deluded if she think 1yo are going to enjoy pass the parcel and having their face painted.

I'm organising a party for my pfb end of March ages range from a few month to 10yp. So the activities reflect this. Maybe not the soft play as restricted the age to cater for the children to 1y0 to 3yo but older children can play on it. But takin toys for the very young babies and a large snake and ladders and other games for the other children. It's not hard to do so again think your friend is being very mean.

plantsitter Mon 24-Feb-14 08:22:08

Don't worry, by the time she's finished pass the parcel with one yr olds, your kids' ll be bored of the soft play!

Seriously I just wouldn't go.

Cigarettesandsmirnoff Mon 24-Feb-14 08:22:39

Don't go .

Tell her just as bluntly as she told you. There is no point in going as my kids can't actually join in the fucking party.

Don't buy a present either!

wonderingsoul Mon 24-Feb-14 08:23:26

if she was my best friend id have no problem point out that its hugely unfair to invite other children but expect any one other 1 to just stand there..

so she may want to relax or uninvite the children. because it wont go down very well ATALL.

i think your friend needs some harsh truths..done in a nice way though.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 24-Feb-14 08:23:52

I can't think any of mine would have appreciated having their faces painted as ONE! HOw ridiculous. Yanbu. I'd not go!

skinoncustard Mon 24-Feb-14 08:25:06

Can I be a fly on the wall!!!! 20 children 'not allowed to join in' wait and see- it will be carnage. She will be running around , waving her arms shouting No ! no! while the kids have a great time. Shame for your kids, but I would be tempted to go, if only to watch the reactions of the children and their parents. Pound to a penny it's the only party her little prince will have.

Hegsy Mon 24-Feb-14 08:25:42

Yup don't go, how bloody ridiculous

BuntyCollocks Mon 24-Feb-14 08:26:56

I wouldn't go, and I'd also be asking her on what planet does she think a one year old can play pass the parcel as opposed to "mummy hands me the parcel, which I'll then hold in a vice like grip, and scream when she unsuccessfully tries to remove it".

The majority of one year olds I know, currently being the owner of one, and having a three year old, will also be doing approx fuck all in a soft play. My DD is very confident to the point of scary, and is pretty much a monkey baby. 99% of one year olds are not, and will sit in the balls smashing them together.

What a tit.

saintlyjimjams Mon 24-Feb-14 08:27:16

Is she warning people in advance? Or is she going to drop this bombshell with a room full of pre-schoolers & infants. I am strangely fascinated...

GlaikitFizzog Mon 24-Feb-14 08:29:19

I wouldn't have let a face painter within 100 yards on my PFB with their germs brushes and toxic paints (I jest, but DS actually has allergies to some chemicals found in make up I wear and sunscreen so I wouldn't let him have his face painted now)

It's going to be a pretty dull party! Pass the parcel with only one year olds! She clearly hasn't thought this through. Bless her. She either learns the hard way, or you can try to point out the flaws in her plan.

I would probably start off by saying you aren't bringing your kids, and see what she says to that.

CheesyBadger Mon 24-Feb-14 08:29:20

I wouldn't go and tbh she should have thought this through better. When I invite older ones I always cater for them - once was a gym for up to 12 years and the other a hall with bouncy castle and craft. She is being ridiculous and I wonder how the other parents feel.

I do think it is lack of experience though and I bet she looks back on this and feels like a wally

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