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AIBU to want to go next door and have a go at the smug idiot...

(49 Posts)
Babysnuffles Sun 23-Feb-14 17:48:31

DP and I had a baby girl in October, as did the couple next door. We don't know them very well (I used to think that was a shame) but always make polite small talk.

This afternoon, however, we get back from shopping and the man pops his head over the garden fence to say hello. He then said 'how is your daughter sleeping?'. We replied with something a bit vague because you never know what hell some parents are going through. He pipes up 'our daughter sleeps perfectly. 12 hours every night. We've got the routine sussed and it's been like that for over a month now'.

I was so shocked by his smugness and parental 'point scoring' I stomped off and am now fuming wishing I'd come out with a cutting response. Should this happen in the future, I would be very grateful for some witty one-liners to shut his smug face up (politely, of course). He probably bores the baby to sleep.

And yes, my DP said he's not worth the rage but still!!

CoffeeTea103 Sun 23-Feb-14 17:50:42

I agree with your dp. A "good for you" response with a smile and walking away.

Innogen Sun 23-Feb-14 17:51:19

Don't worry about it. It's probably the only thing he feels he's got any control over, and maybe the only aspect of parenting and his marriage that is going well with such a shake up.

Don't get worked up about the small things. Let this man have his victory, he probably needs it if he was so keen to share.

hmc Sun 23-Feb-14 17:51:41

You're overreacting!

mumblechum1 Sun 23-Feb-14 17:51:51

That wouldn't have offended me to be honest, he was probably just delighted to have got it sussed (for now grin).

Not worth thinking twice about tbh.

RafflesWay Sun 23-Feb-14 17:53:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

drivingmisspotty Sun 23-Feb-14 17:53:57

You may yet have your revenge-my LO slept beautifully until 9 months and has been up 3--4 times a night since then. He is nearly two now <shattered, and not remotely smug>

NatashaBee Sun 23-Feb-14 17:54:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 23-Feb-14 17:55:50

Just wait. His DW could well be livid with him saying stuff like that. I have a friend whose DH is constantly smug about their 3 yo's behaviour. She just rolls her eyes. A) any good behaviour is down to her not him and B) they were lucky and she knows it.

eggsandwich Sun 23-Feb-14 17:56:23

Calm before the storm strings to mind!

WinterDrawsOff Sun 23-Feb-14 17:58:26

I bet he thinks the baby sleeps through because his partner gets up each night!

MrsMook Sun 23-Feb-14 18:00:08

I'll bet he snores through the night feeds and assumes that because he slept through, the rest of the family does too.

(Never happened here, oh no... men!)

gilliangoof Sun 23-Feb-14 18:00:11

Are you for real?

Can people not be happy about anything these says?

Good for your neighbours.

Cuddlydragon Sun 23-Feb-14 18:00:34

October. Hmmm, he's probably just about ready to hit the 4 month sleep regression....... Ignore him.

Babysnuffles Sun 23-Feb-14 18:01:59

Thanks all. Fully aware I am over-reacting but I'm thoroughly sleep deprived and he should know better! I'll bide my time on this one

HettiePetal Sun 23-Feb-14 18:02:56

My son was a good sleeper and when I told people that I wasn't being smug. That's just who my baby was and I wanted to talk about him.

Give this guy a break. It was probably just his way of being friendly to people who have a baby the same age as his.

Mind you, I can remember going to the baby clinic and telling the HV, in front of all the other mums, that I was worried DS was sleeping too much! Lots of hmm faces. I really wasn't showing off, I was just clueless about babies in general and didn't know I was one of the rare, lucky ones blush

(Didn't last, btw)

ithaka Sun 23-Feb-14 18:04:08

I'd be interested in his wife's answer - it may well be a very different story.

Babysnuffles Sun 23-Feb-14 18:05:50

Gilliangoof sorry you feel that way. Of course good for them, and good for their DD, but he said it in a very smug way and in my sensitive state I felt he was bragging.

ChameleonCircuit Sun 23-Feb-14 18:06:49

"So...? D'you want a medal?"

I really hope it is a case of the baby's mother doing all the night wakings. That would be a great thing to be able to shut him up with.

YouMaySayImADreamer Sun 23-Feb-14 18:08:57

I don't think it is deliberately smug to tell people your baby sleeps through as some people may just say it without thinking. That said, I am always very careful to play down anything that my ds does 'well' because I don't want to sound smug or rub anyone's nose in it if their dc aren't doing the same things.

But it really bugs me when people try to claim that good sleeping is all down to their 'good routine' or something they've done because whilst a good routine obviously helps, it implies that people with non sleeping babies have a bad routine when in fact it may just be down to luck.

My ds was a horrendous sleeper until about 11 months and I was exhausted. Nothing I tried helped, it was just the way he was. So when people made these sort of comments it made me feel like I was doing a shit job and was to blame for me own utter sleep exhaustion. So YANBU in my opinion!

fiverabbits Sun 23-Feb-14 18:12:05

I had a great sleeper, ate well, happy DD and then I had DS who slept 30 minutes in 24 hours, didn't eat until aged eight and was not happy either. Never understood why they was so different.

FranSanDisco Sun 23-Feb-14 18:15:12

He sounds rather odd. So, you aren't friendly as such, just the odd 'Hello' and he makes a point of announcing this over the fence. I would have expected a bit of chit-chat prior to this news bulletin. I think he sounds like a prize bore. It is early days tis true. I always think boastful parents feel inadequate in some way so just nodd and smile, nodd and smile.

Supercosy Sun 23-Feb-14 18:19:48

I cannot stand people like this. Yes, you are over reacting but he is being a smug git. I found this aspect of having a baby unbearable. Having said that I moved on from my NCT group after a few months and found a group who were much more sensible and relaxed. Just smile and say "great".

HaroldLloyd Sun 23-Feb-14 18:21:00

Unfortunately or fortunately I found that nearly everyone gets their time in the shit with sleeping. Baby might stop sleeping through at any time.

My DC1 slept like a dream until 6 months from 10 weeks then had an awful spell. And DP used to tell people he slept through you could see other parents wanted to nut him.

He just didn't get it.

ReadyToPopAndFresh Sun 23-Feb-14 18:28:29

oh that's cute. He thinks his 5 month old's current sleeping habits are any indication of the future.

They aren't.

Bless. New dad.

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