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to not want to give money towards a colleague's baby gift?

(20 Posts)
MB34 Sat 22-Feb-14 22:10:24

I will probably give the money but just gauging if I'm BU for not wanting to.

My colleague and I are like chalk and cheese but we are civil to each other to create an ok working environment.

I went on maternity leave a few years ago and I got a bunch of flowers and 4 cupcakes from my colleagues (I assume all 7 contributed as they'd all signed the card). When my DS was born I didn't get anything, not even a card - I wasn't expecting anything tbh.

Now, one of those colleagues is expecting. She went on Mat leave when I was on annual leave - I think she got some flowers from the rest of our colleagues. When I returned I asked who I owed money to and was told not to worry about it. I'm not even sure if my name was on the card (I doubt it!) A collection is being done in work now for when the baby arrives and I'm really begrudging putting in any money at all.

As I said, I probably will, but AIBU for feeling that I don't want to?

TamerB Sat 22-Feb-14 22:11:43

Don't put it in if you don't want to.

NoodleOodle Sat 22-Feb-14 22:12:03

If it's a brown envelope, just put in some small change, that's what I used to do.

sonlypuppyfat Sat 22-Feb-14 22:13:02

If you don't want to don't. You are a grown up do what you want.

ThePinkOcelot Sat 22-Feb-14 22:13:49

If you don't want to, don't put in.

MooMaid Sat 22-Feb-14 22:14:11

Noodle I do the same - hate the feeling that you have to contribute especially when there are several collections.

OP either commit to not putting in and don't feel bad about it - it's a gift not a demand or pop some loose change in looking super generous but in fact putting bog all in!

Put in a condom.

Normalisavariantofcrazy Sat 22-Feb-14 22:21:31

If it's someone I don't like I put in the coppers from my purse or just cross my name off the list and don't sign the card or put money in blush

MichonnesSamuraiSword Sat 22-Feb-14 22:23:11

Nope I wouldn't contribute. Why should you feel pressured into giving a gift to someone you don't even like.

Do what Noodle suggests if you don't feel able to refuse outright.

I bloody hate these things. I work part-time in a large open plan office, with 30+ people. Several times I've been handed a collection envelope for someone's birthday, for people who I barely say hello to. Once, a young intern was leaving his job to go travelling. I had barely even met this guy, certainly never had a conversation with him. I came in one day to find a collection envelope on my desk for a leaving present for him... he's fucking leaving his job to travel around the world FFS, he doesn't need compensating for it!

I just pass these envelopes on to the next sucker.

Dubjackeen Sat 22-Feb-14 22:27:04

Thankfully, these collections are a thing of the past where I work. A couple of years ago, I got a demand by email, from my then manager, to contribute to a wedding present, stating the specific amount to be handed over.
I barely knew the guy, and wouldn't even have known he was getting married. I ignored it.

Nomama Sun 23-Feb-14 11:02:41

When a woman who had made my work life utterly miserable left I put a penny in the collection and clearly signed my name under a comment that alluded to people who were not her family!

Ooops! My bad.... as only sad people say grin

Hassled Sun 23-Feb-14 11:09:18

I'd put in some change just so I could be seen to have contributed for the sake of an easy life. Otherwise there might be mutterings - "that MB34's really tight" etc. Unless you're not fussed if that's the outcome, in which case just ignore it completely.

bluntasabullet Sun 23-Feb-14 11:58:03

If she wasn't work related, and was a "friend" would you give her a present/money?

Don't give her money if you don't want to. Simple.

ViviDeBeauvoir Sun 23-Feb-14 12:07:36

I've never contributed to a collection that I don't want to and on the other hand have been very generous to collections for people I really like.

Don't feel bad about it.

LizLemonaid Sun 23-Feb-14 12:11:49

Put fifty cents in! Pass it on. Forget it.

Ifeel like having a big collectoon for myself! It never flows back to be bacause i am not / never married.
Im quite tight now.

Fairyliz Sun 23-Feb-14 12:53:11

Difficult one this. I work in an office and its my job to start off these collections for maternity/leavers/big birthdays, (and yes I hate it ). One woman I know never puts into the collections just hands the envelope back which is fair enought.
However, when she had a big birthday recently she was happy to accept £80 worth of presents. I am sure some people did not want to contribute to her present but felt obliged to.
I have suggested stopping these collections and jut buy for people you want to but there was a real reluctance to do so when I suggested it.

Viviennemary Sun 23-Feb-14 13:00:01

I think it's easier to give something than nothing. Just put a token amount in. A pound or even fifty pence would do.

Forago Sun 23-Feb-14 13:04:45

If someone is leaving that I dislike then is just put in some coppers and just sign my name, not write any comments. Think it is clear then that you are keeping up appearances only.

BookFairy Sun 23-Feb-14 13:06:52

YANBU. In my office we had 5 collections for people leaving Sept-Dec, plus goodbye lunches. I'm not made of money!

horseycoursey Sun 23-Feb-14 13:10:39

Yanbu. Don't contribute

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