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To want to say I told you so?

(32 Posts)
Friendsupport Sat 22-Feb-14 18:30:03

To my friend. I know her from another forum we have become good friends in RL. Know her over 6 years.

I posted before that she found out her Dh cheated. She confided in me. She buried her head in sand. There was no consequences for him. No counselling etc. A month later she was pregnant.

She's now posted on the other forum that he's out watching the rugby. She's not feeling well but he's now out for the night and she's at home with their ds.

I want to slap her and say why wouldn't he???? She has accepted his lack of respect towards her so now she can't complain.

cardibach Sat 22-Feb-14 18:37:59

Sorry - why is being out at the rugby showing disrespect? And how does forgiveness of a pas error=losing the right to complain even if he did show some disrespect?

DomesticSlobbess Sat 22-Feb-14 18:39:20

You sound like great friend hmm

gordyslovesheep Sat 22-Feb-14 18:40:23

yeh she deserves to be treated like shit - make sure you tell her that when you slap her hmm

Friendsupport Sat 22-Feb-14 18:42:13

He is out all afternoon and now for the rest if the night while his sick pregnant wife is at home with their young son.

Any decent man would have come home after the match to look after them. Especially a man who had cheated if he was genuinely sorry and wanting to make amends.

She didn't forgive him, she has chosen to ignore it.

Aibu to think that means she doesn't get to complain?

Friendsupport Sat 22-Feb-14 18:43:33

I just think that if you don't respect yourself then no one else will.

FutTheShuckUp Sat 22-Feb-14 18:44:20

I'd love to slap a friend like you tbh.
There are many a time my generally great husband is a fuckwit and I want to vent, if some smuggo like you came along and said told you so, well just wait until your OH pissed you off!

squoosh Sat 22-Feb-14 18:44:25

You sound cold and gloaty.

I feel sorry for her, crap husband and crap friend.

tripecity Sat 22-Feb-14 18:44:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sat 22-Feb-14 18:44:36

So because she wanted to stay in her marriage she is not allowed to complain?

I would suggest no longer being friends with her, you obviously find her annoying.

FutTheShuckUp Sat 22-Feb-14 18:46:07

Yes she does get to complain, her fella may be a cunt. She may not have the self esteem to up and leave, how the hell do you think so many women end up in abusive relationships? Or are you one of those ignorant 'waaahh well that would never happen to me because id walk out' type of people?

MrsDeVere Sat 22-Feb-14 18:46:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JockTamsonsBairns Sat 22-Feb-14 18:46:50

How do you know he's out for the rest of the night?

YoureBeingASillyBilly Sat 22-Feb-14 18:47:11

Why do you call yourself 'friend'?

FutTheShuckUp Sat 22-Feb-14 18:48:25

Your username is oddly ironic....

EduCated Sat 22-Feb-14 18:50:54

You are not a friend hmm

DomesticSlobbess Sat 22-Feb-14 18:50:59

Did you honestly expect everyone to say, "YANBU. Please tell her what a mug she is. That will definitely help her current situation"

No. You are not a friend. Poor woman. Trying to keep her life together and rather than offer support you just want to be smug about it.

Friendsupport Sat 22-Feb-14 18:51:00

I haven't said this to her and I haven't slapped her.

I am a good friend. I listened and cried with her. I didn't tell her to ltb. I advised her to have an honest discussion as a couple to see where they were. Where they wanted to be.

She listened. She said she didn't know if she could face it. She chose to ignore it. Nothing has changed for her.

I'm incredibly sad that my wonderful friend thinks so little of herself that she's willing to accept this from life.

I haven't slapped her. I just think that she doesn't get to complain about his behaviour if she isn't willing to talk to him about it.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sat 22-Feb-14 18:51:14

I thought that Fut

Jolleigh Sat 22-Feb-14 18:51:24

With friends like you, eh? hmm

When you say 'I told you so' because her OH went to watch the rugby, please to give her the heads up that she can't vent about the bad stuff to you.

pictish Sat 22-Feb-14 18:51:55

You can think it...plenty of people do under these sorts of circumstances...but you mustn't say it.

It's like someone on here said once (and I think it's brilliant) - if someone treats you like shit, it is their fault, and not because of something you have done.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sat 22-Feb-14 18:51:58

You cried with her hmm

But now want to slap her hmm

Friendsupport Sat 22-Feb-14 18:52:01

I know he's out for the night because she's complaining about it.

FutTheShuckUp Sat 22-Feb-14 18:52:59

Who tf are you to tell someone they dont get to complain about something? Good grief!

MrsDeVere Sat 22-Feb-14 18:55:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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