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DH's 50th birthday

(18 Posts)
hillbilly Sat 22-Feb-14 18:24:12

So it is his 50th soon and although we discussed lots of options (party, renting a cottage and inviting lots of friends, river lunch cruise) we vetoed them all in favour of us going away for a weekend as a family.

Anyway then I decided that a small surprise dinner would be nice. I have chosen one of DHs fave restaurants which has a private dining room. The problem is that I have invited 10 people (mix of family and friends) but have not been able to invite others due to size of the room. I'm now in a complete pickle about it that the others will be really pissed off.

The other point is that originally I was expecting guests to pay their own way, and have since been persuaded otherwise by SIL and we are going to split the bill between us. That is fine, but it does mean I now cannot change the venue to include others as the whole point was to not spend a lot but still have a celebration.

Feel like I'm going to upset people and still have spent loads which will cut into our weekend away budget. It's a lose lose situation and I don't know what to do :-(

LadyGardenersQuestionTime Sat 22-Feb-14 18:26:19

Cancel it.

Nancy66 Sat 22-Feb-14 18:28:54

Just change the plans. Find a bigger room, invite everyone you want to invite and everyone pays for themselves - you could maybe supply the booze and the cake?

You've got to remember that people will always drop out. Even close friends and family so a party of 10 could whittle down to 6 on the day. Invite more.

tripecity Sat 22-Feb-14 18:29:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vestandknickers Sat 22-Feb-14 18:31:13

What does you Dh want?

hillbilly Sat 22-Feb-14 18:31:46

There are only about another 6 I would invite which I guess makes it worse that they are not invited......

Bowlersarm Sat 22-Feb-14 18:33:28

How many other people would you want to invite, in an ideal world?

Joysmum Sat 22-Feb-14 18:33:49

You need to have a venue that is big enough to cater for the guests you want there, not who want to be there. If it's not big enough for who you want, cancel and find somewhere that is.

Bowlersarm Sat 22-Feb-14 18:34:03

Oh x post.

I'd change to a bigger table and invite the other 6.

Ragwort Sat 22-Feb-14 18:35:14

Are you sure your DH would like a 'surprise' dinner? If he thinks he is going away for a family weekend is this what he really wants?

hillbilly Sat 22-Feb-14 18:40:58

Good question vest - he would love to be around friends and family (including DD -8 and DS -6) and have something low key. He places more value on spending the money on a weekend away for us though. We could possibly go to a different venue which is cheaper per head and include everyone but initially it was only meant to be a small affair.

hillbilly Sat 22-Feb-14 18:42:55

He would love a surprise dinner and we will only go away for the weekend when the weather improves, probably May. I will give him the tickets though on his birthday.

Bowlersarm - can't accommodate more at the restaurant I wanted.

hillbilly Sat 22-Feb-14 18:44:52

It's a particular ethnicity of restaurant thatI want due to his country of origin so that limits the options.

Bowlersarm Sat 22-Feb-14 18:51:29

I don't know then OP! My feeling is that if I were you I would want the other 6 there. They may or may not be able to come, but personally, I wouldn't want anyone I think should be there, not to be there. Or not to have issues an invitation to them, even if they can't make it.

What about another restaurant which can seat 16?

hillbilly Sat 22-Feb-14 18:57:21

Yes I think I will have to change venue......

Heebiejeebie Sat 22-Feb-14 19:06:59

Could you do another meal with the other 6?

Nancy66 Sat 22-Feb-14 19:07:21

Or the restaurant could cater out to you and you could host at home? Would mean you pay for it though

hillbilly Sat 22-Feb-14 19:36:06

Can't host it at home as not enough space. Def don't want to do another dinner and quite frankly can't afford it.

Thanks for your suggestions everyone.....

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