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Dh has just stropped off, saying he has to do everything round here!

(18 Posts)
SEmyarse Sat 22-Feb-14 16:06:42

I got up at 6.30, just as he was coming to bed. I left for work at 7.30 and worked till 12.30. I came in and dh was on the computer doing something for his ebay business, he had been up 2 hours and the girls got their own breakfast. He asked if I could get their lunch because he was busy with something. Not a problem. He seemed very busy so I decided to take the girls out for a bike ride for an hour to get out of his hair.

When I came back he was doing the washing up, and had put a wash on. He then made a big fuss of going back to the computer to do more work, moaning about how much there was to do. i said he should have left the housework and I would have done it later while he was out in town.

I decided that dd2's saddle needed to be higher, so started to root about for the alun key I thought I needed. He said 'don't expect me to start mechanics now.' I said, 'I'm not, I'm doing it.' He gave me 'a look', to say yeah right, which is bizarre since I usually do this kind of stuff. I discovered I didn't need the alun key (wrong child's bike) so started rooting for the shed key to get the spanners. He said 'seriously, however much you hassle me, I'm not doing it!' WTF?? I ignored and sorted the bike. I then came back in, with the door still open, figuring I could bring the bikes through the house to the shed when he'd gone out otherwise I would have to virtually lift them over his head.

He finished up, and got the shopping bags to go do the weekly shop, and as he went to the car noticed the bikes and exploded saying they would be stolen. I said, how ridiculous, the door was open, we could see them, I was waiting for a convenient moment and we live in a very safe area. We NEVER lock our door, why the hell would our bikes be nicked instantly? He's brought them in and dumped them in the house saying he's expected to do everything again. And stormed out saying he's ALWAYS expected to do EVERYTHING.

I will go back to work at 5.30 till 10.30. I have literally asked him to do NONE of the things he has done, and although he's the main SAHP i would not have given a damn if he'd done FA today as long as it doesn't happen every day.

The kids will be back at school this week, so he will have all that time to do ebay. I do the morning school run so he's got from first thing until 3 if he wants, but he doesn't start until 10.30ish. Seriously, do things whenever the hell you like, but don't shout at me that you have to do everything!

AwfulMaureen Sat 22-Feb-14 16:08:32

Tbh he sounds really tired and grumpy...he's only had a few hours sleep. He should sleep longer.

SEmyarse Sat 22-Feb-14 16:11:05

Yes, and possibly not sit up till 6.30 am with his cider bottle. This is not a nightly occurance, but if he wants to do it he needs to able to hack it the next day. I'm not going to be giving sympathy when I've got to work 2 shifts today and loads of other stuff in between.

MistressDeeCee Sat 22-Feb-14 16:13:03

Screen him out, come on here and vent as much as you need to! So many people use their partners as someone to be a sounding board for their moaning and life irritations. Attractive - not. I used to have this on occasion with DP although its died down a lot. I was always calm - speak to me as you would your family, mates, colleagues. You dont rant at them when you're pissed off about your day or just generally irritable, and you haven't actually got my permission to treat me like that. OK I wasnt always THAT polite about it! But it worked..the broken record technique probably had something to do with it.

ImperialBlether Sat 22-Feb-14 16:14:10

Oh hang on a second. He was only going to bed at 6.30 because he was drunk? Not because he'd been on a night shift?

You go out to work and he doesn't?

Who the hell thinks they can drink until it's daylight and then cope the next day?

ihatethecold Sat 22-Feb-14 16:18:45

I'm with imperial on this one.
There is no way I would be happy with my dh staying up all night drinking if he was in charge of the kids the next day.

He sounds selfish.

SEmyarse Sat 22-Feb-14 16:18:59

Yes, drinking, I didn't make that clear did I?

He doesn't usually do it till that late, but regularly till 3ish, even without drink. I don't care if he works to a different timetable, as long as he can function when we need him.

He works 12 hours per week (plus ebay) I work 50ish.

scarletforya Sat 22-Feb-14 16:24:45

Sounds like he was trying to engineer an argument Op....

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 22-Feb-14 16:25:13

FFS I assumed he was working too. Drinking til 6.30am? Suck it up and parent. Moaning about it would get no sympathy here.

ImperialBlether Sat 22-Feb-14 16:31:27

How old are your children, OP? You left the house at 7.30 and he got up at 10.30 after being drunk and in a deep sleep.

ImperialBlether Sat 22-Feb-14 16:32:13

Are you on a high wage, OP? If you're not I'd be thinking that that early morning shift was done just to pay for his cider.

MistressDeeCee Sat 22-Feb-14 16:32:41

oh...drinking as well? He'd get zero sympathy from me and Id be more than pissed off with the whinging too. His hangover - his problem

WaitMonkey Sat 22-Feb-14 16:46:54

How old are the dc ?

TheBookofRuth Sat 22-Feb-14 16:54:14

Your DH sounds like a class A prick, OP.

SEmyarse Sat 22-Feb-14 16:55:48

kids are 17, 12 and 7, so not tiny. The 17yo was also in bed. The other 2 would get him if needed.

He only drinks value cider, so cheap. Nothing a problem in itself, he's a adult and can manage his activities. but don't moan about the stuff you've got to do, and definitely don't imply I do nothing, which is far from the case.

He does all housework and most cooking much better than I ever used to, but I work and bring in most of the money, and I do every morning with the kids while he's in bed, and quite a lot of activity and homework stuff in the evenings.

eeetheygrowupsofast Sat 22-Feb-14 16:57:04

He does sound like a dick. Spoiling for a fight. Self pitying. Hungover. I

like drinking very much indeed but I have worked out by now that if I drink too much I feel shit the next day so I can't drink as much as I'd like to or stay up as late as I'd like to. It's really rather simple.

ImperialBlether Sat 22-Feb-14 17:12:39

You seem to be working a hell of a lot harder than he is. Anyone can do the housework if they've got all of the school hours to themselves. What time do you reckon he gets up on a school day?

ENormaSnob Sat 22-Feb-14 17:33:59

You work 50 hours, he works 12.

Yeah sounds fair.

Get some self respect and kick this loser into touch.

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