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To think if my mother has nothing nice to say she should say nothing at all...

(12 Posts)
endlesstidying Fri 21-Feb-14 15:32:20

So angry and AIBU may not be the best place but..

DD was off school for nearly 3 weeks with headaches and vision problems. One trip in an ambulance, 2 more visits to A&E, 1 MRI scan, 3 visits to the eye hospital, one overnight hospital admittance, 3 attempts to go to school (twice against my better judgement but dd insistend) but sent back by nurse before lunch, painkillers every night so she could sleep through, lots and lots of tears and at the end of it all still no diagnosis.

My mum just phoned and informed me that in her opinion dd was just trying to get off school and I should have been stricter about sending her back rather than indulging her. In her view the headaches will start again immediately after half term and I should just send her back regardless.

AIBU to have told her if she had nothing nice to say to say nothing at all then to have burst into tears and slammed the phone down?

Whatisaweekend Fri 21-Feb-14 15:59:29

YANBU and I am shocked at how callous and insensitive she has been. With all the hospital and doc visits, you must be beside yourself with worry. Have they made any headway with a diagnosis? How has your dd been over half term? Has your DM seen your dd all perky and fine thanks to the dose of pain killers you administered half an hour before and concluded that she is malingering? Is your DM usually this much of a cow?

Sorry for all the questions. Hope you have a resolution soon. flowers

LondonForTheWeekend Fri 21-Feb-14 16:07:53

YANBU. Just keep saying It to her or "I'm really not interested in what you think"

LaGuardia Fri 21-Feb-14 16:09:17

My mother could never say, or think, anything nice about anyone and she died alone and lonely 2 years ago.

CailinDana Fri 21-Feb-14 16:11:25

Can I offer a hug? It sounds like you need it. I hope your DD gets better soon.

Being let down by your mum hurts, a lot.

Jolleigh Fri 21-Feb-14 16:14:58

I was in your daughter's situation as a teen, only with an undiagnosed stomach issue. After a while, my DM listened to my nana. Turned out I needed major surgery. We found this out because of an emergency hospital admittance while I was at school.

Trust your instincts

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Fri 21-Feb-14 16:16:38

I think you were quite restrained. If that was my mum I'd have told her to fuck off but i'm crass like that

Ilovexmastime Fri 21-Feb-14 16:28:14

YANBU, she sounds awful. Hope your DD feels better soon.

endlesstidying Fri 21-Feb-14 17:02:54

The worst of it all in a sense us that I think she's trying to make me feel better. Its her way of telling me not to worry and that dd will get better. She didn't quite get it right.

Thankfully dd has been a lot better and even managed 2 full days of school just before half term.

Still no definite diagnosis but it may be severe migraines.we are still waiting on a neurology appointment.

falulahthecat Fri 21-Feb-14 21:05:07

Has she had blood tests?
BIL had these symptoms and turned out he was diabetic.

deakymom Fri 21-Feb-14 22:10:07

im assuming she has never been ill in her life? yanbu you needed a hug and got a judgment not fair on you brew and relax for a bit

everyone has an opinion on what causes long term headaches mine is taking painkillers for too long = after day two they actually CAUSE the headache (just a thought)

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Fri 21-Feb-14 22:25:21

Has she had her B12 and Iron levels tested? I had similar symptoms to those and it turned out I was very anaemic and B12 deficient. Once on the tablets I was feeling a lot better. The B12 was causing the visual disturbances.
Hope you get an answer soon, and your DD is better very soon.
Your mum was out of line to say that.

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