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To think my ex is being a total idiot

(10 Posts)
runnermum1974 Fri 21-Feb-14 14:39:20

My ex is the main carer for our daughter due to my disability. Everything was informally done with a solicitor and I was seeing my daughter regularly every week, and also on Skype. Things had been going well.

At the weekend my ex and I fell out about him introducing a new girlfriend every few weeks (no joke) to our daughter. My daughter is getting upset and confused about seeing strange women in and out, so I felt that he should only introduce girls he is serious about to her. He didn't like me having an opinion.

Anyway, he got annoyed with me after the argument and now blocked all communication - changed his number and changed his email address. He said he would only accept communication from a 3rd party intemediary by post at his home address.

This is very stressful for me. But obviously it is my daughter, so I have got family mediators on the case to be 3rd party. I just have to wait 2-3 weeks for his response. Then I take him to court if he won't play ball. I can't afford a solicitor so I am doing this myself.

During this time my daughter will miss out on weekly contact with me - I have no way of getting in touch with my ex. Can I ask police to enforce him as it was set by solicitor?

I just think he is an idiot to deprive my daughter of contact just because of an issue between us. Am I being unreasonable?

WorraLiberty Fri 21-Feb-14 14:42:00

How old is your daughter?

I don't think you can get the police to enforce it, otherwise there wouldn't be so many men in your position.

Court is so costly, I hope he comes to his senses soon.

LaurieFairyCake Fri 21-Feb-14 14:44:20

I think you're going to have to accept that you parent differently and not bother telling your ex what you thinks best.

Shitty though it is it's unlikely you'll have any effect on when he introduces girlfriends to her. She's the loser in this and he's an arse.

NatashaBee Fri 21-Feb-14 14:46:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WaitMonkey Fri 21-Feb-14 14:53:09

How old is your daughter ?

runnermum1974 Fri 21-Feb-14 15:05:31

My daughter is 5

booitsme Fri 21-Feb-14 15:35:33


I take it you have applied for family mediation. Im a mediator (and a non practicing family solicitor) and think thats a really good way to proceed. Obviously it must be really upsetting not being able to have any contact with your daughter in the meantime.

Hopefully your ex will agree to attend mediation. If he does then you can explain that you were not criticising him but were genuinely concerned that your daughter was getting upset. Hopefully he will have calmed down by then and will release that he has overreacted and that your daughter has a right to have contact with both her mum and dad. The mediator can not give advice but can explain what the law is and the Childrens act states thats a child has a right to know their parents unless there is a child protection issue. There seems to be a power inbalance in your relationship and the mediator will help to balance this during the session. Also, its likely that your daughter will be asking for you. Its always better to sort out contact without going to court. Legal aid is also no longer available unless there has been domestic violence.

Im sure mediation will help.

runnermum1974 Fri 21-Feb-14 16:10:56


runnermum1974 Fri 21-Feb-14 16:13:05

What happens if mediation fails?

tripecity Fri 21-Feb-14 16:13:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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