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to ask if we can stick to the original plan? (Wedding guests - sleeping arrangements)

(17 Posts)
DoreensEatingHerSoreen Fri 21-Feb-14 11:27:21

A friend is getting married in summer.

The ceremony will be quite small, family and close friends. Myself and another good female friend got the "last two spots" meaning no plus ones for the ceremony, but we can both bring a plus one to the evening. As guests for the full day we are allowed a room at the venue so we were going to be sharing a twin.

This arrangement was great at the time that we were invited as we were both single.

My friend has since met a new partner and he will now be joining us in the evening as her plus one.

The problem is that my friend and her partner now want to spend the night together so are booking a room at a different hotel (I understand that he won't want to drive home and the venue is out in the countryside).

This leaves me paying the full �95 for the twin room which we were originally going to halve.

AIBU to ask her if we can stick to sharing a room - or should I just let them do thier own thing?

JoinYourPlayfellows Fri 21-Feb-14 11:29:34

Well really she shouldn't leave you high and dry like this.

It's not really cool. You guys had an arrangement together and she shouldn't ditch you and leave you with the bill just because she got a boyfriend.

Didn't she have any friends as as teenager?

This is very basic friendship stuff.

hamptoncourt Fri 21-Feb-14 11:40:13

I don't understand, do you mean you didn't pay for the room when you booked it? If so then your friend is being unreasonable and she should still pay half the cost of your room.

If you have already paid and she is asking for her half back then just say no.

MimiSunshine Fri 21-Feb-14 11:40:23

Is the room you had agreed to share already booked and paid for? If so by who, you? In that case she need reminding that she still owes you £47.50.
If its booked and not paid for but you cant cancel then she still owes £47.50 whether or not she sleeps in that room or another hotel with her BF is irrelevant.

If none of the above apply then to be honest i would just look for somewhere else to stay that's a bit cheaper. However I would pointing out to her that shes ditching you and you aren't too chuffed.

DoreensEatingHerSoreen Fri 21-Feb-14 11:42:42

That was my first reaction too Join but I don't want her to be sitting there miserable in the evening thinking "I wish my BF we here" I can understand couples wanting to be together at weddings, and I don't want to be the spoil-sport single friend, but it does leave me out of pocket.

The bride has been emailing me about this just now and has said that I could have a room in a suite with the three bridesmaids and thier DHs (I do know the three bridesmaids and thier DHs all seem lovely). I would have my own twin room, and share a bathroom and living area with the others. Ths would be �80, so cheaper than the �95 room but obviously still more that sharing with my friend.

I might feel like a bit of a 7th wheel in the suite but I'm sure a few wine could help with that.

I agree that it is bad form for my friend to do this, but I can't decide if it's worth calling her out on it or just going along with the new plan.

DoreensEatingHerSoreen Fri 21-Feb-14 11:44:57

All the rooms in the hotel have been reserved by the Bride and Groom. My friend and I had not been asked to pay yet, but will need to pay the bride nearer the time. The room was "put aside" for us.

If we don't end up using it I assume it will be offered to other eveing guests.

JoinYourPlayfellows Fri 21-Feb-14 11:47:18

I think I would take the bride up on her latest offer to stay with the bridesmaids and be done with it.

does the hotel not have a single room you could swap to? have you a friend who would fancy a night away as your plus one?

DoreensEatingHerSoreen Fri 21-Feb-14 11:50:04

I guess I could look for somewhere cheaper MiniSunshine but I am looking forward to staying there, it's a lovely venue and we can all have a nice wedding party breakfast together the next morning.

I can afford the �80. I think I just need to have a proper sit- down chat with my friend and point out to her that this has annoyed me.

razmataz Fri 21-Feb-14 13:18:40

I do understand why you are miffed, but I think in this case you probably need to let it go.

If you were committed to the room and had already paid or would be obliged to pay whether or not your friend shared with you then I think you would have every right to ask her to cough up her share of the cost.

However given that you won't suffer any financial loss by making other arrangements, then I don't think your friend has really been unreasonable - it's understandable that she wants to bring her boyfriend to the evening ceremony. If she had a boyfriend at the time original plans were made you'd be in the same position now presumably.

Personally I would just try and let it go and make alternative arrangements.

BranchingOut Fri 21-Feb-14 13:22:31

I would let it go - this is the summer not next weekend. After all,you might have a partner by that time too.

Forester Fri 21-Feb-14 13:25:10

I'm sure you would still be going even if your friend could not have made it and you would have dealt with the cost. You could look at other options (e.g. a single room where your friend is staying) but otherwise I think that while it's an annoying thing to happen it's not worth getting too worked up about.

DoreensEatingHerSoreen Fri 21-Feb-14 13:48:31

BranchingOut - here's hoping! wink

greenfolder Fri 21-Feb-14 13:53:47

I really wouldn't bring it up-you can afford the money, you get a room to yourself. Its not like she has asked you to give up the room for her and boyfriend. Plans change when booked so far in advance.

whois Fri 21-Feb-14 14:26:05

I don't think friend is being particularly unreasonable. I thought you were going to say her and new bf wanted the room but said you could sleep on the floor or something!

It's ages away, plenty of time to save an extra £50, take the twin room and enjoy having the room to yourself.

Evie2014 Fri 21-Feb-14 16:16:25

What whois said.

I hate sharing hotel rooms with anyone other than DH. And was single for various stages so did many a wedding on my own.

betman Fri 21-Feb-14 16:48:30

I'd personally be really pleased as I would get the room to myself. £80 is cheap for a room in a wedding hotel so I would just suck it up and pay it.

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