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To smother DH in his sleep?

(28 Posts)
Iloveonionchutney Thu 20-Feb-14 22:49:18

It started with an 'I'm the one who works' comment and went downhill from there, I'm a sahm and run an online business - now he has the audacity to snore right next to me, before I've even switched my lamp off! Should I just ltb or smother him for getting right on my tits tonight?

Mim78 Thu 20-Feb-14 22:50:40

My dh is snoring next to me before I have turned my lamp off!

InPursuitOfOblivion Thu 20-Feb-14 22:51:30

Facing similar dilemma myself, for almost the exact same reasons!

mumteedum Thu 20-Feb-14 22:56:18

Yanbu. That's all have to say!

Wibblypiglikesbananas Thu 20-Feb-14 23:10:09

YANBU! Nothing more annoying than a snoring DH, particularly if you're up for the umpteenth time breastfeeding and he doesn't even stir.

VulvaBeaker Thu 20-Feb-14 23:15:26

He's snoring? YANBU LEAVE HIM.

OiMissus Thu 20-Feb-14 23:16:33

Not unreasonable at all.
Dig up thine patio and smother him.
And then help me with mine. smile

sadbodyblue Thu 20-Feb-14 23:19:34

you have his/her lamps?

smother him. grin

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis Thu 20-Feb-14 23:22:04

No jury of your peers (from mn) will find you guilty. I have my pillow ready.

hmc Thu 20-Feb-14 23:24:44

Mine snores. If I wake him to tell him to stop he rages at me. Yes - smother him!

Iloveonionchutney Thu 20-Feb-14 23:39:58

Glad you all agree!
Sandboyblue, not his and her as such just my side of the bed!

Beavie Thu 20-Feb-14 23:43:33

I've come up with the ideal solution.

Dp now rents a flat half a mile away. Luckily his snoring is not audible from here (but I reckon only just).

<lolls around luxuriously in middle of king size bed>

Frusso Thu 20-Feb-14 23:44:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

arfur Thu 20-Feb-14 23:47:50

YANBU am planning smother mine tonight (hmm does that make it premeditated?) as last week I had to listen to him whining on about a terrible nightmare, I said oh yeah I remember you muttering and twitching in your sleep, he was outraged, you should've woken me etc. Last night approx 30 seconds after his and her lights out <posh> he started twitching and muttering so I carefully (he is black belt karate bod and has form for lashing out karate style in his sleep, sigh) reached out and touched his arm and said gently are you ok darling? The response - what've you woken me up for? You were having a nightmare. No I was not I was laying here perfectly still and haven't even been asleep yet grrrrrr! Actually on second thoughts I think stabbing is more appropriate! Maybe we could share a cell?

arfur Thu 20-Feb-14 23:49:37

grin At Frusso! The kids suggested I push him out of the bed next time when I told them about it earlier!

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis Thu 20-Feb-14 23:53:27

I almost did for my dh, bil and sil on Saturday night. The men were downstairs as well! I was going to frame the dog

Frusso Thu 20-Feb-14 23:54:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyoneforTurps Thu 20-Feb-14 23:54:57

Smothering is impractical: surely you don't want to lie next to a corpse all night? You need to be more creative. How about opening the window as wide as possible; putting a Thomas toy/football/iPhone cable (depending on the age of your DC) at the end of the bed, then shouting "Fire"? With a bit of luck, your DH will leap out of bed, trip over the age-appropriate-so-unsuspicious-to-the-police plaything and fall out of the window. Simply close the window behind him and peace will reign.

Frusso Thu 20-Feb-14 23:55:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

arfur Thu 20-Feb-14 23:56:42

Ohwhat - excellent idea, no dog but the cat has 'form' wink not such a big leap from rodents to dh is it?

ForgettableTampon Fri 21-Feb-14 00:00:10

oi oi OP you ain't a SAHM you are a WAHM, you are running a business from home.

Also, cosh him with leg of lamb then cook a roast dinner to serve to the Polis

<tales of the unexpected music>

ipadquietly Fri 21-Feb-14 00:20:06

Ummm... I actually did try to smother dh in his sleep. Luckily he woke up whilst I was doing it. The pillow was lying between us in the morning...

Iloveonionchutney Fri 21-Feb-14 00:34:56

Anyoneforturps that is a genius idea! Knew I could rely on you lot for some tips! Of course I could vanish him to the spare room but where's the fun in that!
iPad I'm not really sure what to say shock

ipadquietly Fri 21-Feb-14 00:36:05

Nor was dh grin

Joskar Fri 21-Feb-14 00:43:30

My dh not only snores so loudly that it disturbs the just on the edge of sleep five month old baby but last week he reached across and pulled my hair really hard!

If the jury were made up of your peers (other snore partners) they wouldn't convict they'd clap!

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