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to think my bloody mother is a pain in the arse?

(93 Posts)
MyNameIsKenAdams Thu 20-Feb-14 22:29:28

No one can ever say or do anything without her commenting on it. Ever. No one can do anything differently to how she does it without them being wrong. Her way is The Way.

She does a perfect cats bum mouth.

She gives her opinion even when it isn't requested.

She does a hundred thousand things that bug the living daylights out of me.

Fwiw I usually just dilute her with work etc but theres 15 of us all on holiday atm and frankly, how I have not exploded I do not know.

I am pg so not sure if its the hormones too but I suspect not.

Rage.

pamelat Thu 20-Feb-14 22:31:33

Not unreasonable but would let it go ;)

I went away on a big family holiday last year and said never again!!

wellcoveredsparerib Thu 20-Feb-14 22:33:33

why did you go on holiday with her knowing that you find d her so irritating? hmm hmm

AnyoneforTurps Thu 20-Feb-14 22:33:59

YANBU but no good ever comes of saying so. Just seethe quietly and plan to put her in a nursing home in Scotland (if you live in Cornwall) or Cornwall (if you live in Scotland).

MyNameIsKenAdams Thu 20-Feb-14 22:34:28

Because usually (regular annual trip) sje is diluted amongst the other holiday makers.

This year has topped it.

I dont know how keen I will be to repeat it next year.

justmuddlingalong Thu 20-Feb-14 22:35:59

You have my sympathy and admiration. Your mum sounds very similar to mine and it takes every ounce of patience I have for me to even spend time in the same room as her. Deep breaths. smile

Balistapus Thu 20-Feb-14 22:37:20

I've got a mum whose exactly the same. I can cope with seeing her approximately once a month, but no more than that. I think you're very brave to be on holiday together!

MyNameIsKenAdams Thu 20-Feb-14 22:37:56

I said excuse me when trying to get behind her dinner chair tonight and she muttered "alright, give me a chance" under her breath. I said "ive only asked once" (and wanted to knock her bloody dinner plate away).

Doesnt help that I am so so early in my pregnancy that no one knows yet except me and dh.

justmuddlingalong Thu 20-Feb-14 22:39:12

Try being quietly smug that you know something she doesn't!

WitchWay Thu 20-Feb-14 22:39:26

I also seem to have the same mother! I almost strangled her during a fortnight's holiday in 2012. First & last. Ever. She loved it & has been dropping hints about coming with us again over my dead body ever since.

MyNameIsKenAdams Thu 20-Feb-14 22:42:05

I suppose it is nice to have the secret.

Its her own doing that she doesnt know as last time I told her at seven weeks, then had a MMC at eleven weeks and got the response "ah well, you are young, you can try again" , then found out she had told about twenty others I was og so they all had to be informed about mmc.

MyNameIsKenAdams Thu 20-Feb-14 22:42:27

Witch we need a support group.

iggymama Thu 20-Feb-14 22:45:22

You appear to have stolen my mother. You can keep her!

Congratulations on the pg, grit your teeth and count the days until you can come home.

MyNameIsKenAdams Thu 20-Feb-14 22:46:32

I said to DH, I cannot wait for Saturday night, in my own bed, woth a Chinese takeaway and a weeks worth of corrie on catchup.

Balistapus Thu 20-Feb-14 22:50:42

Gosh, MyName, that's uncanny. My sister had a desperately longed for pregnancy end in a mmc and my mum told her it was ' probably for the best'.

Nothing good comes of exposure to this type of behaviour. If you ever try to challenge them about it or get frustrated towards them they accuse you of being crazy/ attacking them.
You're going to have to do your best Mother Teresa impression to get through the trip.

hopefulgum Thu 20-Feb-14 22:57:10

You have my sympathy. I too have your mother. She has the perfect cat's bum mouth too!

How you could endure a family holiday is beyond me! I see mine about once every three months, for a couple of hours and I have to grit my teeth.

Are you able to go for long walks away from her (yes, you will have to return grin )?

And congratulations on your pregnancy. I didn't tell my mum about my last baby until 12 weeks. She was well put out that I hadn't told her sooner. But that would be because she had very little positive to say about it.

Hang in there. Imagine what bliss Saturday night will be...all the more the marathon you have endured.

WitchWay Thu 20-Feb-14 23:00:19

I told my mum I was pg at 8 weeks. She replied "I'd better get out the knitting needles then" & I specifically asked her not to make or send me anything at all until much further on in the pregnancy - I was a bit twitched as it'd taken ages to conceive. A hand-knitted pair of bootees arrived the next day. Impossible to tell her anything. Sigh.

Megrim Thu 20-Feb-14 23:01:30

Hate to tell you this but they get worse with age. Louder. More judgemental. Less concerned with social niceties.

I could lend you my mother, who is now 82, but I think she would make your head explode. She does come with her own copy of The Daily Mail though.

DontWannaBeObamasElf Thu 20-Feb-14 23:05:01

Sounds like my mum. She tries to parent my daughter, if I say "BabyElf don't do that"etc she'll repeat it then act like my toddler is listening to her not me.

She's currently not speaking to me because I didn't reply to a group text that came through when I was asleep and for asking her to stop being my parrot!

WitchWay Thu 20-Feb-14 23:06:08

They do get worse with age - agree Megrim about the social niceties. Loud stage whispering about other diners while in restaurants is my mum's speciality blush

DontWannaBeObamasElf Thu 20-Feb-14 23:06:28

Oh yeah and when I was in the EPU for a mmc I was in agony and she said "Wait until you have a baby, the you'll know real pain."

Balistapus Thu 20-Feb-14 23:19:31

DontWanna, I'm not speaking to mine at the moment either.
She argued with me in my kitchen, in front of my baby. I'd asked her not to talk over me - something she does alllllll the time.

DontWannaBeObamasElf Thu 20-Feb-14 23:22:46

I'm not chasing her. If I stand up for myself and ask her to back off I get it from all angles "don't upset mum" but no one gives a shit if she upsets me.

Frustrating.

jellybaby25 Thu 20-Feb-14 23:26:02

Can you go home early?

Megrim Thu 20-Feb-14 23:26:22

Oh yes Witch, we were treated to the classic "that woman is mutton dressed as lamb" comment in a posh restaurant recently, which wouldn't have been so bad except (a) it was delivered at full volume and (b) there was only one other couple in the dining room at the time. Even my 8 year old DS was mortified.

I know I'm in for a right wing monologue whenever the sentence starts with "To my mind ..."

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