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More of a moan than AIBU

(4 Posts)
shadack Thu 20-Feb-14 16:21:48

Background moved to new area my family and friends all live 3+ hours away DP's family is incredibly close knit all similar age cousins all but 2 female and its a big family
DP's cousin has recently had a baby very cute lil tyke and being a boy is deemed "special" in a family full to bursting with girls
His cousin had very little ready for when LO was born leaving almost everything till the last few weeks which is fine for some people but me and DP have had most things since 5 months ish as we like to be prepared as have been in situations where we have run out of things and had no money to replace eg no food and fuel and no help
We have never asked for help just to clarify our bill's our problems

We are due a DD in 5/6 weeks if she makes it that far grin unlikely and feel that because shes a girl she is being sidelined also having difficult pregnancy
It doesn't help that i am feeling down in myself and that we have other issues at the moment with damage/neighbors/landlords etc

Today i am in floods of tears about the fact that DP's family threw his cousin a baby shower several months before she was due and got her basically everything she will need and yet nobody has bothered with us
We even spent out on some new bits for the cousin but that was our decision
I am ready to be told im greedy/grasping etc but i couldn't give a dam on the cost of things DD has everything but nappy's second hand or free from classifieds the same as we do
Just for perspective my sole Christmas present from PIL was a changing bag which retails at about £10 DP and SIL had around 200 spent on each
We don't want people to feel they have to spend money on us but couldn't they at least help when we are painting or putting things together or just helpful advice? We are ignored at every turn nobody has even visited

Am i just being ungrateful or should a family who are so close treat everyone the same? They know i have no family or friends around as well and being signed off with depression isn't helping matters

Im ready to be told to put my big girl pants on and that baby showers are not mandatory nor even a part of my culture and that nobody should feel they owe us one but i know that when the next set of cousins become pregnant they will all have them and am just feeling left out

Marylou62 Thu 20-Feb-14 17:55:57

I feel for you and don't think you come across as nothing but upset and a little 'put out' at the differences in treatment. Did you go to the shower? Cant really offer any advice cept 'chin up.

redskyatnight Thu 20-Feb-14 18:01:17

TBH I wouldn't expect my partner's family to throw me a baby shower. I would expect my own family or (more likely) friends to do that. It probably has not occurred to DP's family that this is something you are expecting.

shadack Thu 20-Feb-14 19:24:21

No we weren't invited to the cousins shower but did bring the bits round a few days later every other family member was there though as well as other's sad
His family make a big fuss about being my "new" family as mine are so far away and across the pond
Think i need to stop taking them at their word
Suppose it doesn't help that iv gotten to the stage now where i want this baby out just so fed up and in pain
Sorry feeling rather down now sad

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