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to wonder if my boss has Aspergers?

(181 Posts)
Katiep10 Thu 20-Feb-14 11:10:31

I work for a smallish company - about 100 people in an open plan office. The long and short of it is that she drives people insane and has quite a complex personality and i wonder if there is more to it though.

She is late forties and has never been in a long term relationship despite talking a lot about how much she would like one. She is, however, extremely picky and is often very rude about people's appearances so I wonder if this has something to do with in in a small way. She is a bit of a joke in the office and once she engages you in conversation it is impossible to get away, sometimes she can talk (about absolutely nothing) for as long as 30 mins without drawing breath or noticing that the other person hasn't said a word. Her conversation is painfully dull (never known anything like it). She can often be very blunt and rude to people and quite frankly, leave you open-mouthed at the things she comes out with. She is quite draining to be with every day, 5 days a week because she is extremely intense, and no matter how hard i try, i just cannot ever seem to have just a normal conversation with her because she gets over excited and dominates.

I have wondered on occasion if she may suffer from undiagnosed Aspergers. Although i feel sorry for her (and I do try to stick up for her when people take the p1ss) I am finding her behavious increasingly more exhausting and i leave work with my ears absolutely ringing to the extent that i consider leaving a job i love because her behaviour annoys me so much. Does anyone have any experience of this? Ultimately i wish she knew the impact she has on people and could in some way try to temper her behaviour as i do have enormous sympathy for her because she is quite a lonely character.

AwfulMaureen Thu 20-Feb-14 21:13:09

You'd better get your hard hat on. Aspergers doesn't instantly mean people are single and rude you know.

Dull conversation doesn't flag it either....specialist interests might...does she talk about the same subject over and over? Monologues?

She could simply be rude.

anothernumberone Thu 20-Feb-14 21:16:45

Wow that is an awful post OP. Did you think for one second that maybe someone with Aspergers themselves or with a family member with it might be more than a little offended by your thread.

AtYourCervix Thu 20-Feb-14 21:18:46

Tell her you have diagnosed her and all will be cured and she'll never annoy you again.

kinkyfuckery Thu 20-Feb-14 21:19:22

So she's picky, rude, a joke, dull, blunt, boring, exhausting, draining and abnormal?

Yep, must be aspergers hmm

Would it make a difference if it were? Would you treat her any differently?

SecretWitch Thu 20-Feb-14 21:20:20

My son is living with Asbergers. He is neither rude or draining to be with. Your thread is offensive to those who struggle with this issue daily.

OryxCrake Thu 20-Feb-14 21:21:31

Um, my adult son has Asperger's and he is neither rude nor single. I think all this diagnose-at-20-paces stuff is very dodgy and would piss my DS off no end.

OryxCrake Thu 20-Feb-14 21:22:19

Ha. Xpost SecretWitch!

hazeyjane Thu 20-Feb-14 21:22:39

Jeez, everything about that post is depressing, hurtful and insulting. Well done.

Topaz25 Thu 20-Feb-14 21:23:30

People with Aspergers Syndrome struggle with social skills but just because someone is rude doesn't automatically mean they have Aspergers Syndrome. Being single doesn't either. I have Aspergers and I'm happily married. I wouldn't amateur diagnose your boss, that won't improve the workplace environment.

ButICantaloupe Thu 20-Feb-14 21:23:53

Your post is very rude, OP.

I'm not sure which of tose behavioural traits have led ou to the conclusion that she may have aspergers. confused

x2boys Thu 20-Feb-14 21:24:23

very judgemental my little boy is only three and has just been diagnosed with autism but nothing is typical with him he does nt get obsessive about things line toys up etc and is an incredibly cuddly loving little boy.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Thu 20-Feb-14 21:25:10

Read about the triad of impairments and then have a think.

nothing you have described says asd. At all.

asd does not = arse.

Dawndonnaagain Thu 20-Feb-14 21:27:24

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CrohnicallyFarting Thu 20-Feb-14 21:27:31

Sometimes this site makes me laugh.

If the OP had posted nastily about how rude her boss was, and how she would talk at you for 30 minutes without drawing breath etc, you could guarantee someone would say 'don't be nasty, maybe she has Asperger's' in the same way that whenever there's a tantrum thread someone throws SNs into the mix.

Yet because the OP has actually thought about it, and wondered if there could be an underlying reason for her boss's rudeness, she is being unreasonable!

SecretWitch Thu 20-Feb-14 21:28:44

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Dawndonnaagain Thu 20-Feb-14 21:29:51

This thread makes me laugh because there is Crohnically Farting, again querying everybody elses position on disability. If you can't see what is wrong with either of the Disablist threads you've posted on tonight Crohnically you have a problem.

I have reported this thread.

candycoatedwaterdrops Thu 20-Feb-14 21:30:15

I think it's the automatic connection between rude and SN which has got people's backs up.

ButICantaloupe Thu 20-Feb-14 21:31:11

Crohnically hmm really, that's what you are taking from the OP?!

PinkyHasNoEars Thu 20-Feb-14 21:32:54

I'm never sure why this kind of question gets posted. It doesn't make any difference to the situation the OP describes, because it doesn't move anything on one whit. Posting this doesn't "help" with any dilemma: I mean, are you really going to base your behaviour at work tomorrow on what MNers on AIBU post tonight OP?

I can't see what it achieves for the poster, but I can see that it hurts, angers, infuriates and distresses a lot of readers.

Why do it OP? What were you hoping you'd get from it?

WestieMamma Thu 20-Feb-14 21:33:10

biscuit

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Thu 20-Feb-14 21:33:40

And people who actually know about asd would have challenged that too. I always do. Every time I read a post where someone describes an arsehole and some twonk pops up with their silly dx, I say that nothing about asd means you are a wanker.

it is not on to observe crappy behaviour and diagnose asd.
Whether in op or as response to it.

it shows a total lack of understanding about the nature and presentation of asd.

Mintyy Thu 20-Feb-14 21:36:43

Well, its an odd subject for a first time poster to "dip their toe in" with.

Make of that what you will.

DwarfShortage Thu 20-Feb-14 21:37:59

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Thu 20-Feb-14 21:38:16

Horrible OP and horrible post from crohnically, nice to put the boot in from the other side.

I see its SN friendly day on MN today. Or maybe not.

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