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AIBU?

To think these are all a bunch of charmers

54 replies

AgaPanthers · 20/02/2014 00:14

Police called to investigate domestic abuse case.

They get through to voicemail, forget to hang up, call victim a slag

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/feb/19/police-woman-slag-voicemail-alleged

She responds by posing in the Daily Mail with her abuser, and dropping the charges.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2562879/Police-left-foul-mouthed-rant-calling-domestic-violence-victim-f-ing-b-ch-VOICEMAIL.html

Such an inspiring bunch of people.

OP posts:
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StrawberryTartYum · 20/02/2014 00:46

wtf open mouthed at that one!

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Roshbegosh · 20/02/2014 00:54

Nobody comes out of this well.

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YoureBeingASillyBilly · 20/02/2014 01:01

Umm - i hope i'm mistaken but are you saying this woman has acted inappropriately?

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BrianTheMole · 20/02/2014 01:08

He's a nasty shit.

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WhentheRed · 20/02/2014 01:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Roshbegosh · 20/02/2014 07:36

It looks like she did give them the runaround, as they said she might. It makes my skin crawl that she seems now to be cosied up with the man she accused of violence as though the police are the only ones in the wrong.

Were they paid for this story? Will they seek compensation for hurt feelings from the police? Will they expect the police to respectfully help next time they have a fight knowing they will probably kiss and make up and drop charges again?

The police officers involved need training, of course they do.

I do have experience of DV by the way and I know the police attitude to it can be terribly unsympathetic and victim blaming but IMO, no one comes out of this well. That picture of the two of them makes me feel sick.

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chandlery · 20/02/2014 07:44

The police have a job to do, which doesn't involve judging her. They were in the wrong and perhaps had they supported her she'd have LTB.

Then again why you'd pose for DM admitting you'd beat up your girlfriend is beyond me and I'd have to question their common sense. Perhaps Jeremy can help them.

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MoominsYonisAreScary · 20/02/2014 07:46

Shes only 19 ffs, how many women post on the relationship board about their abusive partners but still stay with them?

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DarlingGrace · 20/02/2014 07:53

Thing is - not condoning anything - we all make throwaway remarks when we aren't expecting to be over heard.

I have several times been caught muttering 'stupid cow' when I didn't expect to be heard Blush.

No one comes out of this looking particularly well.

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JonSnowKnowsNothing · 20/02/2014 08:38

Why the hell is the boyfriend she wanted charged with assault there in the picture with her?
Whole story is bizarre!

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PosyFossilsShoes · 20/02/2014 09:11

Why is the boyfriend back in the picture? Well, at a guess, it's because a) she's 19 and abuse victims do often believe abusers who say they'll "never do it again" and b) because she doesn't have any confidence that the police would help her for some unfathomable reason.

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YoureBeingASillyBilly · 20/02/2014 12:12

Not sure if you read both links roshbegosh She says she told the officers she would be going out at 6pm and they didnt turn up til 6.30pm to take her statement. She didnt give them the runaround.

And yes to being 19 and an abuse victim who may have been pressured/ manipulated into getting back with abuser. I cant quite believe that is needs to be explained!

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Sarahschuster · 20/02/2014 12:16

The police in question need "training "?! Rather than the sack?

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somethingwillturnup · 20/02/2014 12:48

Not surprised about any of it.

We had the fortune of having a lecturer on criminology writing a book. In the process, she had to shadow the police in various places and over various lengths of time. We had access to her unpublished notes and I couldn't believe what I was reading half the time - and that was when they knew she was there! She wasn't undercover, or in disguise or anything, they knew she was researching a book. Whether they were doing it for effect or not, you couldn't tell, but after speaking to her, she had the impression that they just forgot she was there after a while and talked as they normally would.

Everyone says something (either at work or not) that they would rather someone not hear, but for goodness sake, you'd think they'd be careful about it. Definitely very unprofessional.

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AgaPanthers · 20/02/2014 12:55

She obviously did give the police the runaround. We have her word that the police were supposed to turn up at 6pm but came at 630. It seems from their words that they were expecting her to withdraw, and so its reasonable to assume that actually the police had the correct time.

Also if you are meeting the police at 6pm in your own home, surely you haven't left by 630?

The fact that she's then photographed in the national press with the man she's supposed to be testifying against rather seals the deal.

OP posts:
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Buddybutters · 20/02/2014 13:37

Ffs.

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Buddybutters · 20/02/2014 13:41

Is it really any wonder that the police get pissed off and use slightly inappropriate language at times? They must get totally sick of dealing with scummers like this day in day out.
No sympathy for the girl and her equally dreadful troll of a bf at all.

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FrenchJunebug · 20/02/2014 14:34

seriously blaming the potential victim, op. Well done.

And nothing in the article does say that she is posing with her attacker.

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DustyBaubles · 20/02/2014 14:42

Well, you are a thoroughly unpleasant sounding person yourself OP, aren't you?

Or at the very least, a bit dim.

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velvetspoon · 20/02/2014 14:45

I suspect they got paid for their story. And will get a nice bit of compo for their complaint to the police.

I can't condone the words they used. But had they called her a fucking idiot/timewaster I'd have had to agree with them, as subsequent events have proven.

She is doubtless the sort of person who calls the police every time she and the bf have a row, or he comes home drunk.

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YoureBeingASillyBilly · 20/02/2014 14:50

Umm no- she didnt say she was meeting them at 6pm. She told the poilce she would be leaving her house at 6pm with her dad. I other words they had until 6pm to come and get her statement as at 6pm she had to leave.

Some horrible comments on this thread.

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ITCouldBeWorse · 20/02/2014 14:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CromeYellow · 20/02/2014 14:55

So she did intend on wasting their time, they're probably used to her. As for her moron 'abuser' posing with sad face... there are no words...

I feel sorry for the police, they obviously had previous experience with her and they didn't know they were on answer phone. You can't expect the police to censor their honest opinions with each other. There are victims and there are 'victims' and it's perfectly natural for the police to prefer to spend their time protecting the real ones.

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Catsize · 20/02/2014 15:23

Since when did the Guardian start printing the whole of 'fucking' etc.?

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cory · 20/02/2014 15:38

What worries me here is not that the policemen were irritated by a possible timewaster, nor even that they expressed their frustration in words in what they thought was a private conversation.

The worrying thing is that their natural reaction to being annoyed by a woman was to speak of her as a slag. Speaks volumes about their attitude towards women.

Decent men do not express their honest opinion of annoying women in those terms. That is the language of men who despise women and hate the idea of their sexuality.

And they are the ones in charge of responding to vulnerable women. It's not about this particular girl and how undeserving she may or may not be.

It is about the fact that the people who would get called out to any vulnerable woman who has been raped or abused work in a climate where they feel safe using that language to one another without fear of repercussions.

I simply can't imagine a colleague of mine, regardless of provocation, even if he was an utter bastard and privately thought of women in those terms, ever daring to use such language in the hearing of any other colleague : he'd just know nobody would accept it, he would be socially ostracised and probably reported. Quite regardless of what the woman had done to annoy him.

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