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To feel angry (yes another mil one) about this

(27 Posts)
Bluethirsty Wed 19-Feb-14 14:58:22

Short story, my pil split up about seven years ago when my mil found out he was having an affair. It was a real shock to my dh and myself. My fil is a lovely gentle man and my mil although loving is overbearing and expects to always dictate how things should be. She never had a good word to say about my fil and we think had been having an emotional affair with a woman for a few years. However we supported my mil and have seen loads more of her than my fil over the years. Out of respect and the fact that my fil never asked we have never met the ow.

However my fil is 75yrs old and having an operation in the next few months so we decided that we really should meet his partner rather than for example for the first time in the hospital or worse when organising a funeral. We therefore have now met her twice.

I have just received a text from mil woman friend telling me that mil is distraught and thinks that our children will love the other woman more. She claims that mil knows nothing of the text which was very long.

So Aibu to think this is ridiculous. We have been respectful of mil feelings all these years and if we had met her in the first few years could understand it more. If I split from my dh I'm sure she wouldn't think it reasonable for her and my children to not meet his partner ever regardless of whether she was the oh.

I am also baffled as to why she has text me and not my dh.

I have forwarded the message but we have to decide what to text back if anything, help! Should we bend to her will and go back to never seeing fil with his partner?

DIYapprentice Wed 19-Feb-14 17:35:44

A short 'thank you for your concern' and leave it at that. She has no right to know what you are doing. If your MIL wants to know, she can bring it up.

FunkyBoldRibena Wed 19-Feb-14 18:17:28

I think you are unreasonable for not seeing your husband's father's partner for 7 years just in case his mother has a tantrum.

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