AIBU to feel slighted by MIL?

[SootyBoots]

I've name changed for this one. Too many identifiers...

Am I being unreasonable to think that the following is, at best, a bit off in a mother in law and grandparent.

Ignoring my existence for two years (while still in cahoots with his first wife) was unfair of my MIL (I met him a full two years after they split)

Doing nothing but send a congratulations card for the first year of our baby's life then only seeing him four times in the next two years

Coming into my home on several occassions subsequently then taking my husband aside to talk in hushed tones about the ex wife and children of that relationship

Coming into my home and saying (in front of DC's) 'you've put on weight' before taking husband aside for hushed tones and whispers then, whenI went up the garden for a little cry having been humilated, followinme up there and telling me I am 'too sensitive'

Now that she can be bothered to see her grandson by me, constantly saying stuff to him (aged 5) such as: 'your hair's too long', 'Granny (my mum) isn't very reliable, is she? (My mum works full time - aged 70 - and is single. MIl has been retired for 10 years and is married) and other chestnuts such as 'I don't like your coat but mummy has a unique sense of style, doesn't she'.

The problem is, we have now seperated (he is verbally and emotionally abusive) and he is having EOW overnights at her house. It makes me feel as if I am still being belittled and controlled.

She only started seeing my son when contact between my now ex and his children from his first marriage broke down. He had a court order but the children decided they no longer wished to see him. At that point, she made overtures to us about seeing our son. This makes me feel like he is the consolation prize.

What do I do?

[crazykat]

Be very glad that she's mostly out of your life. It's hard that your ds still has contact but there isn't really anything you can do about it unfortunately.

Easier said than done but try and not let her past behaviour get to you wrt not being interested in your son at first. We have similar with my FIL in that he does loads for SIL's kids (DH sister) like taking them on holiday, big bag of presents at Christmas, ours have had one card when dd1 was a baby and she's now 6.

[Objection]

Wow, she sounds fun.
Ignore the cow. Get on with your life and be glad they are no longer in it - grin and bear it when you have to see them and then rant on MN afterwards

Seriously though, you are better than these people. Sounds like they are their own punishment. GM in particular doesn't sound like she's got anything better to do.