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AIBU?

or is he a massive twunt?

8 replies

Bambam2102 · 18/02/2014 22:16

Hi I'm hoping to gain some insight into this.
I am a single mum to 7yo ds, his father has nothing to do with him and hasn't done for nearly 5 years. CSA are chasing him for in excess of £6000 which he will probably worm his out of.

I have just found out that he, in his own words is going to "be a daddy" aibu to think that actually you already are a "daddy" and its about time you behaved like a father to the child you have got! Or should it not matter to me anymore after all its been a long time.

I don't hate anyone except him, I despise him for what he has done to my son, depriving him of a father and how it will make him feel when he is older, that his dad doesn't want anything to do with him. I wish I didn't waste so much negative emotion on him.

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Atbeckandcall · 18/02/2014 22:36

He is a Chief Twunt. I have one of those as my dad too.
Fortunately for your lovely ds he doesn't have to endure years of bovine turd because he has a smashing mum that's protecting him from twuntish behaviour.
I completely see why you are fuming, I would be. And there will be rage that rears it's ugly head throughout your ds's life. Totally natural as you are the wronged party.
Focus on being the best mum you can be (I'm sure you're already doing that) and when the anger surfaces, distract yourself until it passes.
Sending you hugs for you and ds to help cope with a wanky sperm donor.

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DoJo · 18/02/2014 23:19

Depriving your son of a father like that is actually a favour - imagine if you were still with him and he had so little regard for his own child?

I can completely understand why you are fuming, but honestly, having grown up with a dad who wasn't much better I can promise not having someone like that in his life will be better in the long run. He won't be there to chip away at your son's self esteem, make him feel bad about himself or bring insecurity to his life. And he won't have to see you dealing with the kind of twat who would do something like this - he will see you as an independent person who can do anything, and he will realise that he can do anything he wants too.

One parent can be more than enough, and if your son grows up to know that you love him more than anything in the world and that you did everything you could to make sure he never felt like he was missing out by not having a father then he will be doing a lot better than he would with this nobend in his life.

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eightandthreequarters · 18/02/2014 23:21

Yup, twunt. You sound fabulous and your DS is lucky because he has you.

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LizzieVereker · 18/02/2014 23:25

Him - Twunt.
You - Good Mum who negates the need for, and protects from said Twunt.

Keep it up

End of.

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HeartShapedBox · 18/02/2014 23:42

yanbu.

he's a wankstain.

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CoffeeTea103 · 18/02/2014 23:54

Yanbu, your poor DS.

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DoJo · 19/02/2014 00:47

Sorry - really hope that my previous post didn't come across as dismissive over your concerns about your son not having a father. I was going for supportive and accentuating the positive rather than trying to say that you shouldn't be furious with him for not being the kind of father that your son deserves, which of course, is another element of his twattishness.

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Bambam2102 · 19/02/2014 01:45

Thank you for your replies, it's difficult to ascertain how I feel about the situation really of course I'm angry but I feel sorry for the poor girl who is going into this without knowing what an arsehole he is. I presume she knows nothing about my son. Maybe she does and hopes she'll be different, maybe it will be different and he'll be a good dad? Then that makes me feel upset that he couldn't be man enough to do it for my son.

I work my ass off to provide for my son and he definitely doesn't go without but at the same time my job means time for us isn't as much as it should be and I feel like I'm letting him down.

Also I've not been in a relationship since as I'm terrified of my son getting close to someone and then it all going wrong and I'm scared in the eventuality I do get involved with someone that they'll want to start a family. I don't want anymore children as I couldn't take the risk of history repeating itself. All the while he's swanning around doing what he likes!