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Or am I being prudish?

(26 Posts)
montgomerymadison Tue 18-Feb-14 19:44:06

Please tell me as I think my judgement is a little clouded.

I have quite a strong dislike for a man at work. Basically he has an obvious crush on a woman at work, I don't know her well at all but by all accounts she's lovely.

He was talking about her today saying - yeah she's hot and she's got massive tits.

I just didnt think it was appropriate to describe a colleague like that, especially in the actual place itself.

I'm not going to make a complaint or anything but am I being prudish to find this comment repulsive?

natwebb79 Tue 18-Feb-14 19:45:33

YANBU. What a dick.sad

drnoitall Tue 18-Feb-14 19:47:05

Yanbu it's horrible . I don't think you are being prudish either, you just have some standards.

JonSnowKnowsNothing Tue 18-Feb-14 19:48:37

Yuck - with any luck the "lucky lady" will be equally repulsed!

parakeet Tue 18-Feb-14 19:50:29

You could always tell her...

CrapBag Tue 18-Feb-14 19:51:50

Yanbu. Horrible way to talk about a work colleague.

When I was in my first job in my late teens, there was a lad about the same age trying to guess our bra sizes from our shoe size. We were uncomfortable and informed the manager, he got sacked that day! They took it seriously. Shame the girl doing it with him didn't get so much as a warning though.

Remotecontrolduck Tue 18-Feb-14 19:52:19

Grim. You can think it, but it's definitely not appropriate to say out loud!

ExcuseTypos Tue 18-Feb-14 19:54:01

No you aren't prudish. What a creep.

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops Tue 18-Feb-14 19:54:15

No you're not, it's horrible.

I used to work with a guy who described women as either, a pig in knickers or reel off who she had slept with. Awful.

EBearhug Tue 18-Feb-14 19:54:28

You're not being at all unreasonable and I'd have said something, probably with my women's employees group badge on show.

DustyBaubles Tue 18-Feb-14 19:55:44

I used to work with someone like that.

He had no shame when it came to telling people about his latest fixation. Really graphic and inappropriate stuff. He had been 'fired' from previous volunteer roles because of weird stalkery stuff.

It was really hard to get rid of him though, as people were reluctant to take the official complaint route, and complaints were only taken seriously if they were from the person he was currently obsessed with.

I think his sickness record was used against him in the end.

Uptheanty Tue 18-Feb-14 19:56:59

YANBU or prudish.

He's a wanker.

Finola1step Tue 18-Feb-14 19:57:17

No you're not a prude. I would say you have a well tuned, reliable dick-o-meter. Very useful that.

WooWooOwl Tue 18-Feb-14 20:19:46

It was an inappropriate and unprofessional thing for him to say, and clearly he was wrong to say it.

But 'repulsive' is taking it a bit far, and if you genuinely are repulsed, then yes, you probably are a bit prudish.

Bellini81 Tue 18-Feb-14 20:27:46

What a dick he is...

WeAreDetective Tue 18-Feb-14 20:34:59

I had the exact same thing at work. A bloke, who made my skin crawl, wrote something inappropriate as a 'joke' about a much younger female colleague.

I pulled him up on it. He tried to do the whole 'it's a harmless joke, I didn't mean anything' but he did retract it and didn't say anything so blatantly foul again.

You are not being prudish at all.

montgomerymadison Tue 18-Feb-14 21:40:57

Thank you everyone (perhaps repulsive is going a touch far)

She seems to have zero interest in him, so seems like she has a good and reliable dick-o-metre too.

He also spoke today about loving slapping big asses during sex etc and a female colleague said something along the lines of how disrespectful to women it was.

His reply - I never mentioned women, I could be talking about men for all you know.


rabbitlady Tue 18-Feb-14 21:55:56

his topics of conversation are inappropriate for the workplace.

LegoCaltrops Tue 18-Feb-14 22:01:55

It sounds like he's all mouth, probably making up for his total lack of success with women/anyone. He probably won't realise he will never have much success in a relationship until he stops behaving like an ass.

Birdsgottafly Tue 18-Feb-14 22:02:38

I would warn colleagues that I was going to report the inappropriate comments, just in case they are engaging with him and get dragged into the complaint.

He may try to say that it is just office banter and state the comments if others to try to justify this.

If you don't mind having conversations about sex, in work, it should be done discretely and others shouldn't be subjected to it.

He certainly shouldn't be reducing a colleague to body parts.

AnyFuckerHQ Tue 18-Feb-14 22:03:53

Is he mentally subnormal ?

That is the only excuse for such arsebadgery in a work situation

Report the ignorant bastard. I would. After I have annihilated him very quietly out of earshot of everyone else.

perplexedpirate Tue 18-Feb-14 22:10:12

YANBU!! Report him to HR.

What a prick!


KissesBreakingWave Tue 18-Feb-14 22:23:52

I'm about as far from prudish as it's possible to get. And, no, that don't fly with me. He's an arse, and creating a hostile work environment: failure by your employer to deal properly with his conduct can be construed as violation of the Sex Discrimination Act. Was never a specialist employment lawyer, though, so take it up with your union rep.

AnyFuckerHQ Tue 18-Feb-14 22:47:44

KBW, I believe you grin

KissesBreakingWave Tue 18-Feb-14 22:52:24

Well, y'know, I like to get into the swing of things.

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