WIBU at the pool(107 Posts)
My son has swimming lessons at our local pool.
The training pool is in half for the 2 different groups of learners. One side is a bit younger than his side. Say 5-6 years old.
They all finish at the same time & as my son climbed out to be wrapped in a towel one of the fathers of the younger group pushed his daughter to me and said 'you take her into ladies and shower her' I politely said I couldn't do that as 1: that was the first time I had even set eyes on this girl and her on me and 2: I was planning on just throwing my sons clothes on and get him into a bath at home which we often do after swimming.
He huffed and sighed and I left.
The next set of lessons swing by and the same dad did EXACTLY the same thing to me pushed his daughter to me and demand I shower her.
I said to him that again I didn't feel comfortable showering a girl I didn't know and he got a bit aggressive and said 'what the fuck am I supposed to do then?' I said 'well when my husband takes our daughter she showers and dresses in the men's room with him'
He got really angry and paced around so I got our bits and hurried into the changing room with my son.
About a minute later the same dad stormed into the women's changing room with his daughter and shoved her under the shower with lots of naked women going "oiii" so he pointed to me and said 'it's her fault as she wouldn't shower her'...
He left pretty quickly after that and got his daughter dressed by the pool as when I left there was a lifeguard there with the man and again he was gesturing at me saying 'fucking this, fucking that'.
I explained to the lifeguard that he was being really aggressive because I refused to shower a child I don't know and he just sort of nodded.
I mean was I being really really unreasonable?
My son prefers the men's changing room but I don't randomly ask men if they could take my son and shower him? Why was it any different for a woman to do it? Would you have just showered her to save the aggro I eventually got?
Yes Sofia, your own issues are clouding your judgement of what is reasonable.
You do need to go to the pool, or any other activity, being able to cope with your DC yourself, or bring help with you. You cannot just palm one of them off on a stranger, for oh so many reasons, one of which is that it is nobody else's responsibility (another being child protection, another that you don't know what issues other people are silently dealing with).
And you can't start being very aggressive and swearing if you make a big demand of a complete stranger and the stranger says no.
Op, the dad was an arse. Don't care what his reasons were, he should not have gone into the woman's changing rooms.
You also don't demand that someone does something for you, whet hers it's your spouse, your parent or a complete stranger, that it not how you speak to someone.
I would complain to the management and want to know what they are going to do to ensure that this doesn't happen again (him going into the women's changing rooms).
I have no idea why people think this is untrue.
I was on side watching my dd's lesson. There was a single lane for lessons and the rest public swim. A young couple were in the pool with a baby in a seat. The baby was left to float in the deep end way out of arms reach of either parent.
I then took dd in the female changing room to get changed to find both the man wandering around there. In those days they had a female, family and male changing room. There was no excuse for him to be in those changing rooms at all. They both looked at me fairly vacantly and shrugged their shoulders when i told them he shouldnt be in there and yes they were english speaking.
Yes I like kindness, generosity and the helpfulness of strangers. It should be encouraged. It helps everyone.
But not when that person is forcing you to do something you don't feel uncomfortable about and making his problem your problem - and swearing at the while. No. That kind of person get the cold shoulder at best.
We do not reward entitled bullshit behaviour as it reinforces it.
YANBU..I would inform the manager particularly as this has happened 2 weeks in a row...
What an odd and horrible sounding man. I think the fact that he first went up to the op and said 'you take her into the ladies and shower her' suggests that he thinks the op is there to offer a free service to all parents who cant be bothered to get their own children sorted out after swimming. How very odd.
Sophia Ames, you sound just as odd, even if you do have a child with mental health issues, you cannot say that the op is a bad person for not doing as the man TOLD her to do. He sounds like he has anger management and major controlling issues. Actually, he sounds like he is part of the Mafia or something.
Why do weird things always happen in leisure centres during swimming lesson times???
I think I will try this out on a man next time I take my son swimming and see how he reacts.
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