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AIBU to think that being passive is a bad as being controlling

(21 Posts)
trampstamp Mon 17-Feb-14 21:49:47


I read this and I really feel being a passive parent is just as damaging as being a controlling one.

And sadly I think that this type of passive parenting is growing

There even been a few threads on here about letting children regulate there own behaviour hmm ffs

And sadly through my won experience I witnessed parents who are desperate to be there children friends

trampstamp Mon 17-Feb-14 21:51:38


trampstamp Mon 17-Feb-14 21:52:21

sadbodyblue Mon 17-Feb-14 22:01:03

if you lay down good foundations in the early years and be strict but loving you can slacken off as they get older as they have learned boundaries and respect. I am friends with my grown up lads and am becoming that relationship with my teen daughters.

you can't possibly start disciplining and laying down the law to teens as they are bigger than you it has to be laid down a lot earlier than that.

have no comment on this case as obviously there will be more to this than meets the eye.

sadbodyblue Mon 17-Feb-14 22:03:51

sorry to answer the op I think if you are 'passive' with toddlers and young children you have already lost the teen.

trampstamp Mon 17-Feb-14 22:06:17

Yes I do agree sad boy but I think the dad has to have a bash for the boys sake

Personally I always have said I am not my children's friends and I am fine with being the bad guy if I have to choose between being a friend or a parent then parent wins every time.

trampstamp Mon 17-Feb-14 22:07:12


That's very good saying wow

SaucyJack Mon 17-Feb-14 22:08:55

Middle class neglect.

MrsGoslingWannabe Mon 17-Feb-14 22:09:51

Did you mean to sound sarcastic Tramp?

trampstamp Mon 17-Feb-14 22:11:09

No it's a really good saying

trampstamp Mon 17-Feb-14 22:12:01

Sorry sad I was not trying to take the piss I think it's really good saying you have there

sadbodyblue Mon 17-Feb-14 22:15:18

I hope it's not sarcasm tramp grin

trampstamp Mon 17-Feb-14 22:16:31

Sadly I think this new style of non parenting comes from the us

Allowing the children to choose if they brush there teeth or when they are ready to go to bed ECt.

sadbodyblue Mon 17-Feb-14 22:17:03

grin thanks tramp

MrsGosling grin

sadbodyblue Mon 17-Feb-14 22:18:11

yes agree it drives me bloody nuts when parents say oh he won't do so and so he's fuck

sadbodyblue Mon 17-Feb-14 22:18:45

soz he's fucking 2!!! you are in charge and he bloody will do it.

iklboo Mon 17-Feb-14 22:22:57

Just read an article where a mother said '[daughter] speaks to me in a way I would never have dreamed of speaking to my parents'.

Well don't bloody let her get away with it, then! How did your parents get you to speak to them respectfully - then do the same you mad woman.

trampstamp Mon 17-Feb-14 22:28:39

I know iklboo

When I lived in my flat years again I always remember this mum she was very sweet but a push over

It was getting dark and she was calling for her son to come in she finally comes out to the front and says get in now

So the son who is 8 at the time says no you fucking get in

and she did shock

It suck in my mind because I just couldn't Adam and Eve it

sadbodyblue Mon 17-Feb-14 22:33:56

exactly agree if you lay good foundations they would never even think if talking to you like that. it would be like the heavens falling.

it's laziness really and unforgivable as they are unleashing these kids into schools and society and if course when others try to instill discipline and respect into them they can't take it.

sadbodyblue Mon 17-Feb-14 22:35:53

and it's got bugger all to do with money or education of the parents either.

trampstamp Mon 17-Feb-14 22:46:33

I agree a lot of the parents you see on super nanny or worlds strictest parents are middle class

Also I think there is a lot of certain sort of hackney set trying to be trendy as well it's all raw vegan diets and non displine parenting

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