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To not sit with my sister because I can't stand her dh

(28 Posts)
Chickenmadraspie Mon 17-Feb-14 14:21:31

Nc hope dsis isn't on here as will be outed

Been invited to a birthday 'do' it's going to be a big affair. Really excited about going. Really love the birthday person. This will be the first time dh and will have been 'out' since ds was born as we don't have any sitters usually and we have managed to wangle a whole night away in a hotel! Ds is 1. This will be our first night of uninterrupted sleep grin

Dsis has been invited too and is going with dh and kids. I can't stand him. None of the family do. We tolerate him for dsis. He is nasty, spiteful and with out fail will cause a fight at the end of the night. Every family do we have have he steals, glasses, cutlery anything he takes pride in it.

He has cheated on her in the past and there is violence in the relationship on both sides. Dsis knows he is a prick, but will defend him to the hilt. She won't leave because she can't be arsed and would rather keep her family together hmm

He winds people up for fun, will wind dc up and dsis then pretend he doesn't know what he has done.

She has become isolated because of his behaviour and has started to take his out look on life - just us against the world

She won't have anyone to sit with , there won't be many she knows and can be sociably uncomfortable as she has low self esteem issues add on the fact people will be avoiding her dh like the plague.

My dh is refusing to sit with them. He doesn't like him, after trying for dsis for me.

I also don't want to sit with them as when, and he will do, cause trouble. Dh will be expected to 'help' him out as he is family

I don't want to spend the birthday do and mine and dh rare night out having to endure him but I don't feel right leaving her on her own either. It will been seen as a snub.

Dh is planning on sitting as far away from him as possible.

What do I do/ say? I'm really struggling with it.

WhereYouLeftIt Mon 17-Feb-14 16:14:03

"My dsis will expect dh to step in [when her H starts a fight] "
For that expectation alone, I would tell my sister to fuck right off shock. She seriously expects your DH to endanger himself for her fight-picking arse of a husband? No. Just that. No.

"I would love to be that direct! I normally am but with dsis, she will take umbrage and avoid me, like she does after she ring me up crying about his latest fuck up and I tell her to leave."
All the more reason to be direct with her, OP! Having her avoid you sounds like a solution to me, not a problem.

FelineLou Mon 17-Feb-14 17:09:01

Take an early night too for his rare night without your little one.
If its end of evening stuff the two of you should need to get to bed before then.
And yes don't let the bating make a difference to your enjoyment.

AngelaDaviesHair Mon 17-Feb-14 17:20:27

I completely agree with WhereYouLeftIt

Your sister has to know
-you will be there for her when she is ready to leave
-your DH is not going to protect her DH from the consequences of his own twattishness
-you aren't sitting with them because it would spoil your evening if you did.

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