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aibu to think it's ridiculous to contemplate sitting young children seperate at the theatre

(43 Posts)
velveteenmummy Mon 17-Feb-14 11:49:46

Oh I am spitting feathers, DH (doesn't stand for darling husband in this case) has just rang to ask what I thought about sitting children seprate in the theatre!! in the west end! ds is 5 and dd is 6, one seat was 6 rows in front of the other and one was some where out to the left. so they would be sitting in a giant triangle nowhere near each other, I think they would scramble up his legs if he even tried to sit them there and walk off, the other thing is they are not that fussed about 'taking in a show' what infuriates me most is it's all about his image, I think he's a bit to far removed from reality to take care of kids. What do you think. I won't even tell you about valentines!!

TheSumofUs Mon 17-Feb-14 11:59:13

Aged 5 and 6 ! Never ! They will wriggle and annoy the people next to them. Crazy mad idea

Andro Mon 17-Feb-14 12:01:39

At 5 and 6 they need to be with their parent(s)/appropriate adult, that's just common sense.

YANBU at all.

exexpat Mon 17-Feb-14 12:04:01

Absolutely no way. Quite apart from fidgeting, needing the loo, finding you or sitting still waiting for you at the end of the show etc, what would happen in an emergency like the ceiling collapse in the West End before Christmas? Small children should always be closely accompanied by an adult in a crowded public place like that.

The youngest mine sat separately was about 12, when DS was adult height and perfectly capable of finding me at the end of the performance/going to the loo on his own etc.

DejaVuAllOverAgain Mon 17-Feb-14 12:05:51

If they were in the row in front/behind and directly in front/behind him then that would be okay as he could keep an eye on them. This idea is just madness.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Mon 17-Feb-14 12:09:44

His image? [baffled]

he wants to be seen as someone who does not have to care for his children?

That's really odd.

Doesn't he love his kids? Isn't he proud of them or to be with them?

I don't understand what image he has of himself? One without children?

Finola1step Mon 17-Feb-14 12:10:36


Unexpected Mon 17-Feb-14 12:18:26

What show does he want to take them to see? Must be something hugely popular not to have at least two seats together? Unless it's something very simple like The Gruffalo, they will get bored and fidget and need bits explaining to them. Does he think a complete stranger is going to take them to the toilet or open their drink?

If I saw a young child like that sitting along next to me, I would bring it to the attention of the theatre staff.

velveteenmummy Mon 17-Feb-14 12:18:58

Yes, ISeeYouShiv, I can see you might be confused by this point, his image of course would be when he goes back to work saying how he took the children to London and how they all had a wonderful time seeing a west end show, of course he wouldn't bother to say he sat a 5 and 6 yo seprate in a crowded public place!! thanks for your feedback everyone I'm getting it all now text after text on how I am being stupid and overreacting etc. your comments are helping me hold my own because even though I know it's ridiculous I do doubt myself when someone is having a go.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Mon 17-Feb-14 12:22:59

He's being a prat.

Worse than that, he is proposing to not take proper care of his children.

he's got a nerve having a go at you about it.

exexpat Mon 17-Feb-14 12:25:35

I think you can just tell him it's an absolute no from the safety point of view. I can't imagine the theatre would be happy about having small children sitting apart from their parent/responsible adult - he might well find he'd be refused entry.

Unexpected Mon 17-Feb-14 12:34:16

Good point, exexpat, even if he doesn't give the children's ages when he buys the tickets, when he turns up and has three tickets probably requiring three different entrances to the auditorium, he is going to be rumbled! Again, unless he has one very particular show in mind on one particular day, I find it difficult to see that he can't get some seats together. Is he trying the theatre website or using an agent?

SarahAndFuck Mon 17-Feb-14 12:37:48

I wouldn't do that.

They are too little to sit alone and it's not fair to expect the people they are sitting next to to babysit them if they need help with anything.

Peekingduck Mon 17-Feb-14 12:43:24

Let's face it. This would never work. Sit a lone small child next to someone like me and it's not going to happen. It would be "I hope you're not planning on leaving this child alone". Or, if I found said child in situ when I arrived "Who does this child belong to?". Is your husband really such an idiot?

cathyandclaire Mon 17-Feb-14 12:47:37

I think it's impossible to predict which parts of a show may upset kids. I recently went to Matilda (age limit of 6 and up although many appeared younger) and there were several parents who had to make hasty exits with upset/bored/noisy children. There were many children who loved it and sat engrossed throughout- but it's difficult to predict and I think it would be horrific sitting rows away from my child in a packed theatre, I would relax and enjoy the show for a moment...
IMO better to skip it, or book ahead and get seats together or pay an agency premium.

Viviennemary Mon 17-Feb-14 12:47:42

It's madness. They won't stay in their seat. And will be a huge annoyance to everyone sitting near them.

cathyandclaire Mon 17-Feb-14 12:49:02

Obviously that should be I wouldn't relax!

drivenfromdistraction Mon 17-Feb-14 12:52:56

My 6yo gets scared at all sorts of random things in the theatre - sudden noises, people who sound even vaguely cross or threatening, the lights changing. And he enjoys seeing plays. I wouldn't even contemplate it without me or DH sitting next to him. Also, I would be wary of taking a young child to anything longer than an hour unless I was certain it was really going to hold their interest to an exceptional degree.

lessonsintightropes Mon 17-Feb-14 12:53:29

I very much doubt the theatre manager would allow it and yes, it would be spotted if one was sat next to me I would bring it to someone's attention. If nothing else, isn't he worried about them being seated near someone dodgy if he's not there to supervise? Weird.

velveteenmummy Mon 17-Feb-14 12:56:44

thanks everyone, for the ones who asked it was charlie and the chocolate factory, i think with it being half term the theatres are all fully booked, he tried Matilda last night at the box office for returns and I tried last and all online ticket sites, there were tickets last night for C at CFactory for 2 seats together and 1 a couple of seats away I said you could get those and sit DS on your knee, he said 'no I think there are rules against that' ha I forgot about that, so ironic now, I just can't get on his wavelength.

AMumInScotland Mon 17-Feb-14 12:58:01

Wow. He would seriously leave a child that age sitting next to complete strangers in the dark for an hour or more at a stretch? Has he absolutely no imagination of all the things that might go wrong in that scenario? I don't go round seeing child abusers everywhere, but that's hardly something a decent parent should be blase about.

Plus all the obvious innocent problems of toilets, snacks, whinging, etc.

Floggingmolly Mon 17-Feb-14 12:59:49

Are you going to be there? confused. I wouldn't hand my children over to someone with such a loose interpretation of what keeping children safe actually entails, even if he is their father.
Of course they'll probably be relatively "safe" in the theatre, but it's such a bizarre thing to do; I'd wonder what other situations he feels it's ok to sit on the sidelines of.
Plus if the children make a nuisance of themselves and someone complains; he'll probably be asked to leave.

velveteenmummy Mon 17-Feb-14 13:00:37

totally lessonintightropes that was my first concern I must admit, and then if they are seated near someone who isn't dodgy, all the other things people have mentioned.

velveteenmummy Mon 17-Feb-14 13:04:17

Good point floggingmolly, it is the first time he has taken them away without me, and I did think hard about it, it won't happen again that's for sure.

drivenfromdistraction Mon 17-Feb-14 13:06:17

I hadn't even thought about the likelihood of sitting next to a molester. That's not my main concern. I just know that my 6yo and 4yo would be very daunted by this, and I wouldn't do it because it would distress me to have them distressed by what was supposed to be a treat!

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