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To fly off the handle when workmates constantly comment on my small figure

(63 Posts)
Mousieme Mon 17-Feb-14 08:48:49

I'm so sick and tired of daily comments on my weight. I'm 52kg 5 foot 4 and have been this size since I can remember. My high metabolism makes it really hard to put on weight which is a problem if I'm unwell, nothing to fall back on. I'm constantly under scrutiny and having to explain to work mates after comments like "don't you eat"? "I'd give anything to be your size". Etc. Half of them I don't even know. I'd never dream of commenting on someone's weight. Feel like telling them to zip it and mind their own bloody business!

FranSanDisco Mon 17-Feb-14 08:57:50

I used to have this said to me. I was about your height and weight (53kg/5' 5'') and had a healthy diet imo. One guy even asked if I was anorexic but he was a complete knob end grin. In my late 30s my metabolism changed and I put on weight. I was happy with my weight so just ignored comments that were negative. Take the positives and ignore the negatives.

The focus on your weight is their issues with themselves and not with you. If I was asked by Knob End what I had eaten for lunch I would say a bowl of steam and his brain would chug for a bit until the penny dropped.

ElenorRigby Mon 17-Feb-14 08:59:59

They are embarrassed by their weight I guess and are trying to get you in line. Ignore, no point stressing over idiots.

Wellthen Mon 17-Feb-14 09:00:15

I think some people almost think its a compliment. I get this sometimes and want to scream 'can you hear yourself? You're saying I'm unhealthy or neurotic. That I don't enjoy food like a 'normal' person and I must be constantly dieting!'

Don't get me started on 'real women' comments!

Why do women do this to each other and ourselves? Its no problem to look at someone and think she looks nice or she doesn't look nice, but why do we have to voice it and why do we have to connect it to flaws in their personality?

OP I usually respond with 'I'm in my mid 20s. I have always been thin. My mother is thin. These are all reasons I'm 'that size'. Does that explain it for you?' and when they respond with 'It was a compliment' I explain clearly why 'don't you eat?' sounds like they are saying I'm ill in some way.

lljkk Mon 17-Feb-14 09:10:16

It's just chitchat & small envy, they seriously want to know your secrets.

I do get how it's tiresome.

Preciousbane Mon 17-Feb-14 09:14:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pussycatdoll Mon 17-Feb-14 09:15:21

I've lost a lot of weight in the last year
I've been pretty shocked & tbh embarrassed by the amount of comments I've got
Like what's your secret - I just say cutting out the crap & smaller portions
On friend said 'your portions must have been massive before' shock
people have said don't lose any more , don't go too far etc etc
My sister asked me why I was ordering salad in a restaurant hmm
I've been pretty astounded at the audacity of some of the comments

defineme Mon 17-Feb-14 09:19:52

I think people are awful to thin people-and I have never been thin!
My lovely beautiful friend is naturally super slim and other friends have called her all sorts of stuff -why on earth is it ok to comment on her thin legs when they wouldn't comment on my fat ankles.
I've also noticed that it's not ok if slim women complain about putting on a bit of weight, but if your clothes don't fit it still feels crap even if they're a size 8.
I second the cream cakes suggestion-though then they'll probably say you're bulimic!

AngelsWithSilverWings Mon 17-Feb-14 09:21:48

I'm always amazed at how people think it's ok to comment on other people's body shapes.

I have a very large chest and it's always commented on. It has made me cry before. I'm ok with them but I've had people suggest I have surgery! How rude is that?

I am 5"4 and when I was in my early twenties was 8 stone 7 ( even with my big boobs!) I ate and ate, never ever went to the gym and yet I never put on weight. My brother used to tease me and accuse me of being anorexic. Now in my 40s I have to eat healthily and run three times a week to maintain 10 stone ( which I'm happy with)

I wonder how many of the people commenting on your shape have a healthy BMI.

MadIsTheNewNormal Mon 17-Feb-14 09:26:45

Mousieme do you eat a 'normal' amount of food at 'normal' intervals though? Because we fatties are constantly being told that slow metabolism has nothing to do with it, and we are just eating way too much and not burning it off. Ok so if we are eating four s;ices of toast for breakfast, a packet of biscuits for snack, fish and chips for lunch and a pizza for dinner I totally get that. But what about if we don't do that?

So when we see someone thin who insists that they eat whatever and whenever they want, enjoy treats, and that their appetite is 'normal' we are utterly bewildered by it.

ArtexMonkey Mon 17-Feb-14 09:29:19

I hate this. It's somehow ok for women to say 'i hate you, you're so skinny, you bitch' etc, when i'm sure no one would dream of saying 'wow you're a right fat jabba aren't you love?'

Just tell them not to comment on your weight and body and eating habits. It's really not appropriate for work. Or any t

ArtexMonkey Mon 17-Feb-14 09:29:46

Ime for that matter, unless specifically invited.

BalloonSlayer Mon 17-Feb-14 09:30:45

I have been your size and it's lovely to be nice and slim but it's not THAT tiny . . . not sure about your "nothing to fall back on" comment, sounds like you are trying to make yourself sound frail and unwell and resent people saying "lucky you" when you think they should say "poor you" or something.

ArtexMonkey Mon 17-Feb-14 09:31:30

mad that's no reason to put someone on the spot and start interrogating them about what they eat though is it? Would you like that done to you?

MammaTJ Mon 17-Feb-14 09:36:50

My DSis has this, even in hospital having had her DS1! The MWs were following her to the toilet because they couldn't believe someone could be that small, eat as much as she did and not be throwing up! People make judgments, they always will ! I am judged to be a lazy over eater, when in fact I am a student nurse, so far from lazy, love healthy food more than junk!

mrsminiverscharlady Mon 17-Feb-14 09:45:51

YANBU. If I have a small lunch my colleagues ask why I'm dieting but if I eat a big piece of cake they say, oh you're so lucky to be able to eat what you like. I can't win!

MauriceMinor Mon 17-Feb-14 10:02:38

So you're 5'4 and about 8 stone? Doesn't sound particularly skinny to me. Sounds nice. Why are you making a big deal about it? confused

NewtRipley Mon 17-Feb-14 10:08:22

What is that in stones? Totally agree with others here

YANBU

I am fairly slim now, and used to be v slim before I had children. It's just rude for people to comment negatively about weight, and boring to have passive-aggressive comments being made.

BalloonSlayer Mon 17-Feb-14 10:10:02

50 kilos is 8 stone, NewtRipley, so 52 is about 8st 4lb.

NewtRipley Mon 17-Feb-14 10:12:36

Thanks Balloon

Too lazy to google blush

Maurice

That's the point, in a way. It's not excessively thin, and she's not the one making the big deal about it - other people project their own insecurities on people and imply they have an eating disorder

MauriceMinor Mon 17-Feb-14 10:26:44

Yes Newt, I know exactly why people do it. But to say you are "sick and tired" of it is a bit precious. Just be flattered fgs. They are jealous.

NewtRipley Mon 17-Feb-14 10:28:49

Maurice

I take your point. I think a lot of annoyances with other people can be shrugged off by realising it's about them not about us

BranchingOut Mon 17-Feb-14 10:34:36

Ah, I used to have people commenting on how slim I was. I remember the days....

It doesn't happen so much these days! hmm

saulaboutme Mon 17-Feb-14 10:58:47

Yanbu, I've always been slim even after dcs. I could reel off comments I've had over the years but I try and take it as a compliment.

People think because you are slim it's ok to comment on your size because you MUST be happy, how could you not be?

Try not to get upset or feel picked on. You don't have to give a reason why you're slim, you just are!! It's rude but they notice you which they can't help.

People at work used to comment all the time but I'd just say yep well my mums slim, granny was etc.

RedToothBrush Mon 17-Feb-14 10:59:30

Do it! Tell them to zip it and mind their own business!

If you don't challenge them they will continue to do it. Its rude and its upsetting you.

You aren't even that small.

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