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URGENT! Maternity Leave Collection Etiquette

(25 Posts)
sandalsinthebin Mon 17-Feb-14 08:43:59

Posted here for traffic as I may need to organise this today depending on your answers. Do I organise a maternity leave collection before she goes rather than after the baby is born? It's so long since I have either worked in a place where someone has gone on ML, or since I have gone myself that I just can't remember the etiquette. I will have to take responsibility as I am the only other woman in the office (don't shout at me that's just the way it is). Thanks

SomethingAboutNothing Mon 17-Feb-14 08:45:43

Yes I think it is generally expected that you give a present when they are leaving the company for mat leave, and possibly send flowers once the baby arrives.

TallyGrenshall Mon 17-Feb-14 08:48:12

Either or ime.

My previous workplace we waited until the baby was born and got bits for both mother and baby then.

My current workplace, we arranged something for her last shift

Casmama Mon 17-Feb-14 08:49:22

I agree- get something for her rather than the baby would be my suggestion as after the baby is born al, the presents from friends and family will be for the baby.

littlebluedog12 Mon 17-Feb-14 08:49:52

I got a card on my last day then they sent some lovely baby clothes and flowers when the baby arrived. I think either is fine.

Joysmum Mon 17-Feb-14 08:51:16

Something for her rather than the baby and now.

ILoveFrogs Mon 17-Feb-14 08:51:36

We always wait until the baby is born and usually give present when they bring baby up to visit.

Oriunda Mon 17-Feb-14 08:53:25

After if gift is for a baby. Before if for her (ie pampering stuff, not vouchers btw as she won't have time to use them!). Am always haunted by memory of a colleague leaving to have a baby, getting baby presents before she left and it all went wrong and no baby. I'm very superstitious though.

SlinkyB Mon 17-Feb-14 08:53:40

Nice big bunch of flowers and a card today? Then a little something for baby once here.

MsVestibule Mon 17-Feb-14 08:54:22

In my workplace, there was always a collection before the woman left and presented to her on her last day. Depending on the personality of the woman concerned, she may feel a bit miffed if she left without receiving anything at all.

OneMoreThenNoMore Mon 17-Feb-14 08:57:32

I received a card and gender-neutral baby gifts on my last day, and they kindly sent another card after the birth too.

After each dc was born, dh's work did a collection and sent us cards and gifts, which was completely unexpected and lovely.

So I think either way would be lovely. smile

sandalsinthebin Mon 17-Feb-14 09:42:34

Thanks all. I will go with a gift for her now, then card and flowers as a surprise after the baby. I was thinking Jo Malone candle type of gift. I've just sent an email to them all to get their hands in their pockets!

PrincessOfChina Mon 17-Feb-14 09:45:15

We do gift and card before - I got vouchers, some flowers and one of those baby bath boxes with all the gubbins in. Then I got more flowers and gifts from friends when DD arrived.

Abstractingplay Mon 17-Feb-14 09:56:52

How lovely! I'd do it before she leaves.

Nobody collected anything for me at my old job when I went on ml 2x not even a card.

[bitter] but mostly confused

Noone even bothered saying 'bye' or 'good luck' on my last day. When I approached my bastard manager he just said, "you know life just goes on, it's not that special having a baby." Or words to that effect.

Thank fuck I'm out of there now. Fuckers.

Livvylongpants Mon 17-Feb-14 10:03:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SlinkyB Mon 17-Feb-14 21:17:12

Abstract they sound a bit like my hopefully soon to be ex colleagues. How can having a baby not be special?! Bunch of tossers! grin

scantilymad Mon 17-Feb-14 21:37:40

I got a card when I left and some individual gifts and then a voucher and flowers when baby arrived. I am sure whatever you do will be appreciated!

I was given things for baby when I left each time - I lived a long way from work so it was a good few weeks after each DC was born before I met any of my colleagues. When one of my colleagues went on ML last year we did things for her when she left, things for baby after he was born, as she was particularly anxious about not tempting fate with baby stuff in advance.

I wouldn't have used a candle in the early days with a baby BTW, too much risk of falling asleep with it lit, or going pstairs with baby and forgetting to put it out, I was shattered, not thinking straight and paranoid about safety. Nice handcream and bubble bath was very welcome though, as would have been chocolate.

tsw Mon 17-Feb-14 22:33:32

Just my experience but my office did a collection before I left and then I lost my baby. My colleague went on ml a couple of months later and the office changed to collecting after baby was born....

YeahThatsWhatISaid Mon 17-Feb-14 23:19:24

Sounds like a good plan OP.

selsigfach Mon 17-Feb-14 23:34:14

I'm so sorry for your loss, tsw. I'd do present for mum (massage voucher, chocolate etc) as she leaves for this reason. Receiving baby presents before baby's arrival would make me anxious (don't get the US shower thing at all).

Sceptimum Tue 18-Feb-14 07:12:41

I got a voucher from my coworkers after the baby was born for a company that deliver decent healthy easy-cook meals. It was brilliant. They had a morning tea for me on my last day too. My coworkers are pretty great. smile

Kveta Tue 18-Feb-14 07:38:22

neither IME <not bitter>

QuietlyWingingIt Tue 18-Feb-14 09:14:48

For DC1 my colleagues clubbed together and then asked me what I wanted - so they bought me a baby monitor.
For DC2 - working at the same place....nothing, not even a card!
Ponders what will happen if we have DC3...

YeahThatsWhatISaid Tue 18-Feb-14 09:21:16

QuietlyWingingIt. I think your experience is the norm. My PFB got more baby cards than the following 3 combined. It continues even as they get older. DC1 got more cash from the relatives for his 18th than any of the others. Luckily we all just laugh about it and I really don't think the other DCs mind but it is a bit confused shock

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