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To think this was odd

(20 Posts)
purple20s Sun 16-Feb-14 20:45:14

I am friends with a married couple. They have a 17 year old daughter.

They have been on holiday and put up pictures. One was of the girl standing next to a much older man and he had his arm around her. She looked really uncomfortable. I commented saying 'poor R, she looks embarrassed.' Cue 'hee hee hee' responses along the lines of it was a waiter in the hotel who kept chatting R up and she was so embarrassed and hated it and they found it funny so took her picture.

If a man was harassing my uncomfortable teenager I'd tell him to fuck off! Aibu?

Janethegirl Sun 16-Feb-14 20:58:35

My daughter at 17 would have told the waiter to just fuck off, there would not have been a photo opportunity. I can't believe any 17 year old girl would have participated in this if she didn't want to. However I may just have had gobby kids smile.

FryOneFatManic Sun 16-Feb-14 21:01:49

Actually, if the parents response to their DD being harassed is to say it was funny, then perhaps it's understandable that she's just stood there looking unhappy in the photo. Do they disregard her feelings like that all the time?

Janethegirl Sun 16-Feb-14 21:04:52

FryOne, poor kid if that really was the scenario.

Floggingmolly Sun 16-Feb-14 21:15:17

They allowed their daughter to be pawed by a waiter she wasn't interested in, and then publicised her discomfort on Facebook to spread the hilarity as widely as possible? hmm
Odd indeed. They sound like a pair of morons.

purple20s Sun 16-Feb-14 21:15:58

She is very shy Janey.

Not all kids are like yours.

littleballerina Sun 16-Feb-14 21:16:35

Link this thread to your fb. say something like 'interesting reading'.

Floggingmolly Sun 16-Feb-14 21:16:52

And not all parents are like hers.

Janethegirl Sun 16-Feb-14 21:17:40

Shy certainly isn't a description I would apply to mine!

Mim78 Sun 16-Feb-14 21:17:50

Yanbu. They should have stepped in and protected her.

phantomnamechanger Sun 16-Feb-14 21:19:12

ew, what's wrong with them? bad enough she had to put up with unwanted attention from a sleaze but for them to take her photo (presumably posed) and publicise it is just ew

purple20s Sun 16-Feb-14 21:20:48

Flogging, I know. I just felt for her and was pointing out that just because for one person their teen would have responded does to mean all teens would feel confident enough to do so.

FryOneFatManic Sun 16-Feb-14 21:26:18

So they've put this pic on FB? Then they really cba about their DD's feelings, can they?

Lemonfairydust Sun 16-Feb-14 21:27:05

I personally think it's a bit mean to make her pose for a photo with him. A bit of light hearted teasing about the waiter fancying them is one thing, but placing them in that situation for their own amusement seems a bit cruel.

VoyageDeVerity Sun 16-Feb-14 21:27:43

What awful message does that give the girl

JeanSeberg Sun 16-Feb-14 21:28:34

I can't believe any 17 year old girl would have participated in this if she didn't want to

Victim-blaming and offensive.

purple20s Sun 16-Feb-14 21:29:13

Thank you jean. That was my first thought too.

TheScience Sun 16-Feb-14 21:30:44

I can't believe any 17 year old girl would have participated in this if she didn't want to.

Lots of teenage girls (and older woman) end up in situations they are uncomfortable with out of fear, embarrassment, having been taught not to make a fuss, and people suggesting exactly as you have - she must have wanted it.

BringMeTea Sun 16-Feb-14 21:33:00

Agree with Jean Seberg. Not cool suggesting daughter is complicit.

JeanSeberg Sun 16-Feb-14 22:48:21

Back to the op, no you are definitely not being unreasonable.

Your friends are saying to their daughter that she should be quiet and not make a fuss. And that it's Ok for blokes to touch her and make her feel uncomfortable. You're 100% correct to call it (sexual) harassment.

Poor girl.

I couldn't be friends with people like that, no wonder you are angry.

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