Catering a Wedding abroad

[34at32]

I'm trying to organise a wedding abroad. I'm not finding it easy but it's slowly starting to take shape.

My other half has decided to cook for the wedding party himself.....I know, but his day too and all that, plus he's a good cook so I'm sure it'll taste great. It will be approx 40 guests.

The problem is that he reckons he'll be able to get all the food from the nearest supermarket the day before....not that we know where that is or what exactly they sell. I reckon he should try and preorder to avoid bring caught short on any essential ingredients.

He thinks this is 'ludicrous' behaviour and that I'm being a control freak and that we can work it out when we are there.

Am I being unreasonable, or ludicrous?

I'm terrified that this is a recipe for the worst wedding day ever!

[SantanaLopez]

He is utterly mad. HTH.

Where the hell is he planning to cook? Is he thinking of just leaving you to hold the party on your own while he goes off and cooks for 40?

[mrsnec]

I'd be worried but it would be doable in some places. Some degree of forward planning would help!

[34at32]

We are hiring a large accommodation which has hosted larger weddings than ours, so I'm happy that we have the necessary facilities.

Yes, I worry about the time that we will both spend in the kitchen rather than enjoying the day we are spending several £k on.

So glad you confirmed that I'm not ludicrous, I was starting to wonder.

[HappyAsASandboy]

What is he going to cook?

To be honest, whatever it is you're going to have to pre-order unless you know there is a huge supermarket close by. If the supermarket is a local one, they're not going to stock enough of anything for 40 people to have the same dinner .... 40 chicken breasts from a local butcher with no warning? 20 baguettes for a buffet with no warning? 20lbs of mince for a chilli with no warning? Not likely unless there's a tesco extra near the venue.

I don't think you're being unreasonable. If you were going out 5+ days in advance I'd chance it, but surely the day before the wedding he'll need to be prepping all that food, not driving around trying to find ingredients to cook?

Can I also ask whose going to be actually cooking/heating/serving the dinner on the wedding day? Even just to put food for 40 onto serving dishes and bring it out is going to take longer than you'll want him to be missing from the party ....

[DarlingGrace]

He's cooking? no, no, no! we went to 40th, hired castle and all that malarkey - we never saw the birthday boy because he was cooking. Just get caterers in

[ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets]

Why don't you invite 40 guests to your house for dinner on Tuesday and tell DP he's cooking for them, the menu you'll have at the wedding preferably. Then put him in his wedding suit and you wear a huge impractical dress and see how you get on?
You could call it a rehearsal, I'd call it 'proving it can not be done'.

[Innogen]

Does t he want to spent his wedding day with his wife? Not cooking for 40?!!

[FrysChocolateCream]

Sounds awful. Can't think of anything worse. Surely catering for 40 is a huge deal. And oh yes, you're getting married as well. Two massive things together? Recipe for disaster . I really hope you can get him to think again.

[LaurieFairyCake]

It's a great idea

If it's a M and S that does platters

[ageofgrandillusion]

This is daft in so many levels OP.

[bragmatic]

He's mad. But I'd leave him to it and book myself in for a massage and pedicure the day before.

[34at32]

Phew I'm not unreasonable.
Dam, I still have to manage his crazy catering ideas.

[pussycatdoll]

I wouldn't be happy if I'd forked out to attend a wedding abroad & all that was on offer was sandwiches because the groom was a giant eejit

[Unexpected]

Madness! Just because the venue can accommodate 40 doesn't mean that there are catering facilities for that number. If anyone has catered a wedding there before, they probably hired caterers who came with their own industrial oven, bain-mairies, large serving platters, etc etc.

What exactly is his menu plan? Does "cooking" mean three courses or more of a cold buffet? Are you prepared to say where you are getting married?

[Unexpected]

Actually thinking more about this, we had a barbecue for DH's 50th a few years ago in our garden, fully catered, approx 50 people. However, we still spent AGES on the day sorting out tables, candles, condiments, bar arrangements etc etc. Teenage ds was supposed to be in charge of the bar with his mates but got bored and wandered off after a while. I spent the entire afternoon handling around plates, filling glasses, emptying leftovers into bin bags, getting out desserts, lighting cake candles etc etc (while still pretending to be relaxed, chatting to everyone and smiling) - to the extent that I never got to eat at all! Thinking about doing that in a strange venue while in a wedding dress would bring me out in a cold sweat!

[specialsubject]

where are you going?

I lived in Greece for a while, you get used to things not always being available due to strikes, seasons etc. Nobody starves but you can't really plan for a huge gathering unless you have local arrangements. I remain staggered at the availability of stuff in the UK and the ridiculous excess of choice

and yes, if people are travelling abroad they will expect a decent meal!

[Oriunda]

What country? Supermarkets abroad don't necessarily stock the same things. For example, in our part of Italy you cannot find fresh cream, it's all UHT stuff.

[SantanaLopez]

Rope in a few friends to ask about wedding plans and laugh at him when he says he's cooking?

[gobbynorthernbird]

That is one of the daftest things I've ever heard. Wrong on so many levels. Can I ask what country you'd be in, and what he'd be planning on cooking?

[ENormaSnob]

He is nuts

[gobbynorthernbird]

Oriunda, that's a good point. DDad lives in Brittany and has a 3 hour round trip to buy curry/Chinese ingredients.

[CasperGutman]

We catered a party for about 50 people for my son's baptism. We spent the previous two days getting ingredients and other bits and pieces from a Costco and two supermarkets, cooked all the food the day before (it was a cold buffet) and it was still hard work on the day just putting everything out and tidying up afterwards.

Even if he's only planning a simple buffet HIBVU to think he can do this on his own wedding day!

[waltermittymissus]

And when was it that you first realised he had completely lost his marbles?

I think you need to put your foot down on this one, actually. Yes it's his day too but he's in very real danger of completely ruining it for both of you.

Not fair when you've shelled out the money. And, as PP says, if people are paying to fly out there they probably won't be best pleased at a few sandwiches because the groom is a lunatic thinking he can cater it the day before!

I'm assuming that he expects you to spend the entire day before helping him? Then the actual day waitressing? Er...no.

[Bluestocking]

This is one of the maddest things I've ever heard. Quite apart from all the other objections in the thread, has he discussed his plans with the manager of the venue? They may well not want some deranged guest walking into their kitchen and trying to cook for forty.

[MaryWestmacott]

It's a no from me too - point out that his job is to host which means he's got to spend all the time entertaining his guests, any time away (more than just going to the loo) would be rude.