I will try to keep it short and keep drip feeding to a minimum if I can but basically, I met friend - who can be a little awkward at times - during a training week for new job in September along with another group of women. We all got on really well and everything was brilliant (before this I had been a SAHM for 2 years, so adult company was a godsend).
Skip to October/November time and awkward friend appears to be causing a rift within the friendship group (repeatedly calling oldest of the group an "old mare" and rubbing everyone up the wrong way). It eventually blew up when she told me "in secret" that one of the other girls had been bitching about me to her. It might help if I add now that I don't do this high school bullshit, so sat them both down together (with fair warning to both) to discuss it. We had a chat, put it down to awkward friend getting the wrong end of the stick and I say that I am happy to draw a line under it.
Cue then both falling out and awkward friend making every effort to segregate me from the group because otherwise she would be "left out". I managed to remain amicable with the others but this didn't go down well with AW and every time I dared to speak to someone she would belittle me in front of them. She then slapped me after I had a bit of banter with some bloke she fancied "as a joke" and generally made me feel horrendous (FTR - told her if she slapped me again I would likely take action of my own).
I let it slide, gave her the benefit of the doubt as it was a generally stressful week. Invited her over to mine and DHs for takeaway. She behaved no differently and slapped me a SECOND time and proceeded to flirt with my husband all night "as revenge for flirting with guy she fancied". Confronted her about it and told her that she was being a really rather horrible human being, effectively bullying me, that if it didn't stop when we were at work I was going to go to our senior and make a complaint and that I hoped this wasn't the way she treated her friends never mind out patients.
She cried her way through a whole week, claiming I didn't tell her I disliked being slapped (because, who doesn't, right ) and the things I said to her were just awful, followed by her being really, really sorry, promised to stop belittling etc.
Anyway, I haven't really felt the same about AW since and have spent more time with my other friends. I have since learnt that she hasn't been particularly nice about me to the others, claiming that I didn't deserve to be married to my DH and topped it off with "It's pathetic that she thinks she can start uni this year when she is going to have a newborn baby".
What I want to ask is aibu to let this friendship fade out slowly instead of telling her straight? Or should i try and resolve this for a second time? I am really rather upset by this whole situation and feel I might have been a bit harsh on her, despite her behaviour.
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AIBU?
To let our friendship fizzle out? Might be a tad long.
19 replies
MollyMakesMeWantToDance · 16/02/2014 11:23
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