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to ask if there is a name for repeated medical interventions for child (family court related)

(10 Posts)
mumteedum Sat 15-Feb-14 15:41:26

Sorry, posting for traffic.

A family member is currently going through family court to get better access to his son. He has always supported his son and has a good relationship. Sadly the relationship with the mother is complicated because she has ASD.

I don't want to put too much info in here as it might be identifying but things have taken a turn this week and I'm trying to help family member with info for court.

The mother has been taking child to doctors with a view to getting child diagnosed with same condtion as her. The child is 5. THis has been going on for 2 years or more. They are IMO willing the child to have this condition and are using it to somehow say it would be disruptive for the child to have better access to father. No diagnosis has been made and indeed would take some time to do so. Mother is misrepresenting the school to the doctor to support her application for a referral to get this diagnosis, we have recently discovered. The school do not support her views and have stated so to my family member.

It rings a bell from another thread (from a reverse point of view where the mother had perfectly valid reasons for wanting to have child seek mental health support) where the mother was told by court that repeated medical interventions were somehow seen as some sort of abuse of the child, if they were being used for the parent obstructing the other parent in court proceedings.

It is a massively long story but I truly believe the child is better off with more contact with the dad and I am concerned about mother's issues and how they affect the child.

Can anyone help with info regarding parents doing this? Is there a name for this ? It's obviously not munchausens by proxy or anything of that sort, more that the mother is using her condition projected onto the child to somehow use this against the father in court proceedings.

To be clear, the father is perfectly willing to allow child to be seen if there is a problem and now he is aware of referral will be present at appointments (though mother tried to exclude him).

ForgettableTampon Sat 15-Feb-14 16:00:19

Do you know what?

I am sure you are trying to do the best you can but really, keep your beak out.

School is not placed to make diagnoses or judgements wrt whether a child has an ADHD or ASD.

quietlysuggests Sat 15-Feb-14 16:06:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoonToBeSix Sat 15-Feb-14 16:28:34

Yabvu asd presents very differently at home than school. A diagnosis takes a long time that is normal.
You should think very carefully before you start accusing people.

mumteedum Sat 15-Feb-14 16:37:01

Ok, this is probably not the place to post. In not being able to include all the info, I can accept that this appears abu. Apologies for any offense. I was asked for help and couldn't find info I was thinking of so turned to mn.

I probably haven't explained this well at all.

I'll leave it.

bruffin Sat 15-Feb-14 16:37:02

I think you are thinking of FII (fabricated or Induced Illness)

PolterGoose Sat 15-Feb-14 16:46:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumteedum Sat 15-Feb-14 16:57:29

Thanks. Yes, Dad and ext family on our side are being open minded. Dad is ok to explore this but should be included or at least informed of child seeing any medical professionals. We know diagnosis or not will take long time. And yes, do trust medical professionals to do this.

The problem is that mother (and family) are using anything and everything to prevent contact and the child at the centre is being subjected to stresses that are unnecessary and detrimental.

As I say, massive backstory and can't put identifiable details in. Happy to accept this won't come across well with the info I can include and really don't want anyone with asd children themselves to think I'm making any sort of generalizations or judgements. This is a very specific set of circumstances and I was asked if I could help. Family member is self repping, mother's family well off and paying fir barristers etc

deakymom Sat 15-Feb-14 22:11:47

you look for similarities with your children for them to be like you in someway especially if you have asd or something similar i knew someone who didn't really get on with their child they didn't look like them and they just couldn't quite connect with them then they got anorexia and it was a total change they finally had something in common weird isn't it?

the court will sort it out in time the family might be having an unwanted effect on her you never know

cory Sat 15-Feb-14 22:34:52

Are you absolutely sure that the child is not displaying symptoms of the condition and that the mother is actually seeing something you are not?

Of course it is possible that someone with a certain condition might be psychologically predisposed to see their child as like them. But there is a strong hereditary side to ASD- is it not equally possible that the child will be genetically predisposed to be like the mother?

I spent many years trying to get my dd diagnosed with something I could see and the school refused to see. The reason I had to spend so long was that it is very difficult to get referrals to the right specialists and many conditions cannot easily be diagnosed by generalists. By the time I got dd seen by the appropriate professionals she was completely crippled and I was told that she had probably been permanently damaged by lack of intervention. sad

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