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to be angry and sad at their thoughtlessness

(18 Posts)
lifeinthefastlane1 Sat 15-Feb-14 09:54:59

really trying hard not to be so judgemental but I think they are making a huge mistake. my friends are getting a pug puppy I assume they think this is a sedentary breed and will be easy to look after, they have a 5 yr old, they both work full time demanding jobs, when they are home at weekends they are usually busy socialising, out shopping, family days out etc, and they go on holiday during all their annual leave, usually abroad (lucky things) , they are not particularly outdoorsy and sil is definately not a dog person, the bloke is a bit like a spoilt kid and wants a pug, and the little girl loves animals so she has given in and they are going to get a dog, I am seriously disturbed by this as I know they wont have the slightest worry about leaving this little thing for 8-9 hours daily probably crated or at most locked in the kitchen (they wanted to crate their cat when they moved into their new house I advised against this so they now leave it locked in a room with a litter tray)
I really cant see them spending intense amounts of time in an evening or on weekends with the dog to compensate as they already have incredibly busy lives. my friend would be happy for her dd to go to school 8-6 everyday and have the same annual leave as they do (dont get me wrong they are great parents but they dont give any thought to the fact that dd may need time off school, but should fit in with work times)
if they would advocate this for their own 5yr old child you can just imagine how involved they are likely to be with a dog, it will be in kennels 5 weeks a year while they are on holidays. (I've worked in kennels and my dog will never see the inside of one unless there is some dire emergency)
I know they will have no thought at all for what this little dog will need and are only thinking of what they want, but what can I say , it is none of my business.
They are not bad people and why shouldnt they do whatever they want, but as a dog lover I just cant get my head around this.

RandomMess Sat 15-Feb-14 09:58:09

Really sad isn't it. Can you loan them a dog for a weekend or so to help them understand what it really entails?

I would love a dog but I know I'm not ready for the commitment of the early starts it would involve as I work full time!

lifeinthefastlane1 Sat 15-Feb-14 09:58:52

I am really hoping that the message I got saying this means they are just going to look after someones for a weekend or something and hope that I have got hold of the wrong end of the stick.

CailinDana Sat 15-Feb-14 09:58:59

Yanbu. And I dislike dogs intensely. But I don't think the poor buggers should be abused, which is what their "pet" is heading for.

Helpyourself Sat 15-Feb-14 10:03:08

It's hard isn't it? sad
We've just had a very similar situation with friends who bought a puppy. No reason for it not to work out, wife doesn't work, kids could have walked it.
They sent it back after less than a week. hmm
Actually not hmm face, better so early than later, but it was just the inevitability of it all.

3littlefrogs Sat 15-Feb-14 10:03:11

I agree with you. I love dogs and my DD would like us to have one, but we have an unsuitable house and we are all out all day. It just wouldn't be fair on the poor animal.

todoaboutnothing Sat 15-Feb-14 10:12:07

It doesn't sound ideal does it. Could they get a pet sitter to come in for an hour or 2 during the day to feed the dog and take it for a walk?

I've also worked in kennels and I'm not comfortable with leaving a dog there unless there is no other option, but I have worked at a few boarding kennels which have been lovely, one even had underfloor heating! 5 weeks is too long in my opinion though.

I wouldn't go as far as to say the dog is being "abused" in this situation.

lifeinthefastlane1 Sat 15-Feb-14 10:16:31

I did mean 5 weeks per year not in one block , I dont think they are totally heartless grin

wowfudge Sat 15-Feb-14 10:49:42

They haven't got the dog yet, but the poor cat! By all means keep a cat out of the odd room you don't want it to get into, but to lock it in one room is just cruel. Cats are far happier when they can please themselves as to what they do.

Jesuisunepapillon Sat 15-Feb-14 11:16:22

It's very wrong. I hate when people do this. I would have to say something to them, whether they'll listen is another matter.

RhondaJean Sat 15-Feb-14 11:20:45

I adore pugs I would love one but my wonderful doggie friend says her pug needs more exercise than her two collies! I know they have a rep as lazy little dogs but they aren't. It wouldn't fit our lifestyle sadly.

Can you send them tons of links about pugs?

HandbagCrazy Sat 15-Feb-14 11:20:49

My sister is like this so when she said she wanted a dog (a spaniel) IIRC I bought her a book on dog breeds and asked that she read it before going ahead. The book included information on breed appearances, energy levels, life spans, most common illnesses, how much excercise and grooming they need and also had a chapter on how dogs are sociable animals and why they need to spend time with people. It made her completely change her mind - she got a greyhound and has been great at making sure she's not left on her own for too long / training / excercising her. Would this work with your friend?

mrsjay Sat 15-Feb-14 11:27:58

we have a rescue dog not a pug but apparently they owners worked full time and were hardly in so the result was a neglected puppy who was left to bring its self up yanbu to be annoyed at this but there is nothing you can do sadly,

BlackeyedSusan Sat 15-Feb-14 11:48:24

h wanted a dog. he took his sistes dog for a walk and it shat on the bottom of someones drive. I made him clean it up. he was not impressed. put him off having a dog.

brettgirl2 Sat 15-Feb-14 11:56:05

maybe they'll pay someone to take the dog out everyday?

Don't like the judgyness around working full time with dc though.

FlockOfTwats Sat 15-Feb-14 12:11:54

YANBU based on the fact alone that its a pug. No one should be buying them IMO!

PumpkinPie2013 Sat 15-Feb-14 13:00:39

YANBU drives me mad when people do this!

I'd love a dog but with us both working full time (when I return from mat leave) and our baby to devote all our spare time to it wouldn't be feasible at all and very unfair on the dog.

BakerStreet Sat 15-Feb-14 14:48:09

No yanbu, I am not a doggie person and I know I couldn't look after one as they are too much hard work.
The problem is now days that so many people get "Pets" without any thought or regard that they actually need looking after.

I know of a couple of people who have taken on pets on a whim. Cant cope with their basic needs so pass them on to someone else, Only to get another pet and for the same pattern to be repeated hmm

If you decide to take on an animal the least you can do is make sure you know what you are letting yourself in for and make sure you can accommodate their needs to become a much loved part of the family.

I'm not sure what you can do with regards to your friend as I suspect that any advice will fall on deaf ears. If they have made their minds up to go ahead, as frustrating as it is, you have to let them learn by their own mistakes.

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