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To have hoped that DH would actually have bothered to open his Valentine's Day card

(23 Posts)
TwinklySprout Fri 14-Feb-14 20:13:45

We don't make a huge deal about Valentine's Day or birthdays or anything else round here. But we've generally exchanged cards and chocolates on Feb 14th.

So this morning, I left a card and some truffles beside the kettle. He told me at 6.30am that he'd seen them. It's now 8pm and he's pottering around upstairs. I think he might have opened the truffles but the card is still lying there unopened. He hasn't given me a card.

AIBU to feel slightly sad? Yes I've got this in proportion - nobody's died - but it would be nice if he could at least pretend to be interested.

Would it be excessively childish of me to drop the card in the bin next time I'm in the kitchen?

BringMeTea Fri 14-Feb-14 20:16:59

He sounds very mean indeed. Can you tell him that? I would be very upset.

JeanSeberg Fri 14-Feb-14 20:19:20

No it wouldn't be mean. Is this normal behaviour?

LexiLouise Fri 14-Feb-14 20:19:38

No you are not unreasonable to feel like this. That is pretty hurtful

If it was me I;d open they envelope rp the card into four bits and put it back in the envelope to make a point and leave it in the same place so when he does eventually open it he'll relise he has been a dick......but that's just me

midnightagents Fri 14-Feb-14 20:22:29

Yanbu - particularly seeing as its what you normally do. It's bound to make you upset if he changes the routine without even mentioning it sad

penguinplease Fri 14-Feb-14 20:29:00

Next yr bypass him and buy yourself something. If he is lovely the rest of the time I'd let it go tbh.. And save it to remind him another time!!

CoffeeTea103 Fri 14-Feb-14 20:33:12

Yanbu that is pretty hurtful. I'm sure when you stop putting any effort he will notice that.

Fairylea Fri 14-Feb-14 20:33:38

Yanbu. I'd be very hurt. How rude of him!

TheDoctorsNewKidneys Fri 14-Feb-14 20:34:21

YANBU, I would be really upset.

SantanaLopez Fri 14-Feb-14 20:39:08

Any chance he has forgotten? I can't remember what I saw or said at 6.30am.

tripecity Fri 14-Feb-14 20:44:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SybilRamkin Fri 14-Feb-14 20:45:00

Perhaps he's just absent-minded? My DH is a bit like that, he doesn't mean to be hurtful, it just doesn't occur to him that forgetting to open a card might upset me.

clockwatching77 Fri 14-Feb-14 20:47:20

I feel your pain op. Dh left for work early this am so I presented him with card and chocs this eve. It remains unopened. He apparently didn't have time to get me a card. We normally do cards. The fact that supermarkets sell cards and indeed chocs proves he could have made the effort as he has been to a supermarket to stock up on his favourite snacks lastweek. Also had time to preorder the latest computer game he wanted. He was more bothered aboht that.

JeanSeberg Sat 15-Feb-14 06:29:23

It's all a bit shit really isn't it?

Helpyourself Sat 15-Feb-14 06:44:42

How are things normally between you two?
It's horrible behaviour- ask him why.

TamerB Sat 15-Feb-14 07:00:02

I think it is hurtful.

clockwatching77 Sat 15-Feb-14 10:26:53

O. My czrd is still unopened this morning op. I really shouldn't have bothered.

serant Sat 15-Feb-14 10:35:17


RudolphtheRedknowsraindear Sat 15-Feb-14 10:38:34

Mumsnet thanks, cake and of course,wine

harriet247 Sat 15-Feb-14 10:44:57

That would hurt my feelings too-maybe hes embarrassed that hed forgotten? I would eat the chocs and bin the card

Topaz25 Sat 15-Feb-14 11:55:24

YANBU! He saw the chocolates and card at 6.30am on Valentine's Day, he had more than enough time to open and acknowledge them and then run out and get you chocolates and a card if he'd forgotten! Ask him what's going on and tell him he hurt your feelings and that if he doesn't want to exchange cards in future it would be better if he let you know in advance.

Topaz25 Sat 15-Feb-14 11:56:16

I understand the temptation to bin his card but I think communicating will resolve this more effectively.

Poppy67 Sat 15-Feb-14 11:57:39

I would bin the card and talk to him about his twattish behaviour!

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