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To not find this help very helpful.

(20 Posts)
Helsbelscm Fri 14-Feb-14 19:29:28

MIL was staying at ours. When I came home from work she told me she had done our washing, I was suitably impressed/grateful until she tells me...
I haven't washed any of DD's things as I know you normally put them in with your stuff but I don't like to do that
So now I have to do 2 loads of washing anyway & have had my housework critiqued. AIBU to no longer feel quite so grateful for the help?

CorusKate Fri 14-Feb-14 19:36:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wibblypiglikesbananas Fri 14-Feb-14 19:38:01

That would annoy me too!

LongTailedTit Fri 14-Feb-14 19:44:50

What does she think will happen to her DGC's clothes if they're washed with adult clothes?? confused

WillYouDoTheFandango Fri 14-Feb-14 19:47:27

YANBU nothing worse than being expected to be grateful when someone has been unhelpful. But I can outdo that one. My PA GMiL told me ive folded all your washing up. I know you said not to but I can't just leave it lying about --for 5 mins--like you can.

Where had she helpfully folded it? Into the flexibucket of sick that DS had done just before she arrived. Super PA and mega unhelpful.

LoonvanBoon Fri 14-Feb-14 19:47:31

YANBU. Criticism cunningly disguised as helpfulness - fucking annoying!

CorusKate Fri 14-Feb-14 19:49:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bowlersarm Fri 14-Feb-14 19:49:57

Oh YABU

You were impressed......until she didn't meet you criteria!

She does it her way, you do it yours.

Don't be a mean mil basher.

WillYouDoTheFandango Fri 14-Feb-14 19:52:18

She's deeply irritating Kate, she stacks all my dishes off the draining board and covers every kitchen surface with them while I'm in the supermarket. Then when I get bCk I have to put them away before I can unload the shopping. She's a master!

CorusKate Fri 14-Feb-14 19:54:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pricklyPea Fri 14-Feb-14 20:10:51

Why are these people allowed in your houses?

ZingSweetApple Fri 14-Feb-14 20:11:19

oh, I have had people helping me before - I ended up with two brand new oven trays scretched badly ("oh sorry I didn't realize it was non-stick") and my middle finger knuckle slashed open on a knife put in the dishwasher blade up ("oh I'm sorry, this is just the way I stack the dishwasher cutlery box") - both on the same day.

Don't. fucking. help. angry

Munxx Fri 14-Feb-14 20:17:47

Depends how old your DC is. If it's baby clothes then perhaps she thinks you do them separately?

mumminio Fri 14-Feb-14 20:21:53

Is she really awful, or could this be a case of misunderstanding?

I also wash kiddie clothes separately, because we were told at the hospital to do that (something about bacteria, I was vv tired so can't recall the reasoning). She might be genuinely concerned (but she should have asked you, or at least done both loads...maybe she didn't have time?)

If she is really horrible... Can you leave the DD laundry for her to do tomorrow? It would be cheeky and childish but I would be tempted. Or let your husband notice that you have to do the extra load of washing, and mention to him casually that your water bill might be a bit higher because of the extra washing.

ScentedScandal Fri 14-Feb-14 20:23:56

Lol my mil helpfully cleaned my bathroom when I'd just had dd1, but she said she couldn't find the bathroom cleaner 'so I used polish'confused. It was deadly slippery in there after that. She also ironed my unwashed washing. Aaargh!!

mumminio Fri 14-Feb-14 20:31:46

PS don't feel too bad...my MIL scratched our slab granite kitchen top (how she managed to do that, I really do not know!), burn a wooden spoon, melt several plastic spoons (in the food presumably, but I only found out afterwards), put huge scratches in 2 brand new high quality frying pans which were investments and supposed to last 10 years. Plus cooked with copious amounts of butter, salt and cream despite my husband having heart problems and trying to follow a healthy diet (we didn't even have salt in the house; she went through a jumbo pack in 2 months), cooking at high temperature with olive oil, making food incompatible with breastfeeding, etc.

Plus she insisted on walking around the house while holding the baby, despite having a bad hip and experiencing a few falls in the past couple of years. I'm fine with cuddles and holding the baby, but every time she stood up with the baby, I had to jump and separate them. So I felt on edge the whole time. Got me into hot water with my other half, but maternal instinct was strong!

Having said all that, she meant well, and doesn't know about healthy eating, feels invincible despite her falls etc. It was hard to take, but one day I'll be the old woman trying to help out and doing things wrong. At least she was trying. Her shitty remarks towards the end of her stay were another thing...but she is no longer living with us, and Skype sessions are ok because THEY END. smile

Rant over...

LoonvanBoon Fri 14-Feb-14 20:32:02

My MIL once offered to finish off preparing a meal I'd been cooking as I was occupied with my baby twins.

All there was left to do was to cook some spinach. I usually just wilt it in a big pot (it was ready washed) but she said she preferred to microwave it. Didn't see any point in arguing - she was doing me a favour, after all, & I could say there were m/wave instructions on the bag (pierce with knife, put bag on plate & cook).

Few minutes later there was a terrible smell coming from the kitchen. MIL had decided to empty the bag of spinach into a plastic mixing bowl - didn't think to check if it was m/wave safe - & proceeded to melt the bowl in the microwave. It literally took weeks to get the smell of burnt plastic out of the house.

Helsbelscm Fri 14-Feb-14 20:33:34

This isn't MIL bashing. Her heart is very much in the right place she just thinks she knows best about how our house should be run. The other week she insisted on cleaning the oven even though I told her not to as I didn't think it was dirty. She also very much knew how I normally do the washing as she told me!

BobPatSamandIgglePiggle Fri 14-Feb-14 20:40:21

Make her a cup of tea. Leave the teabag in. 'Oh I know you like to take it out but I like to leave it'

Leave a poo in the toilet 'oh I know you like to flush but...'

mumminio Fri 14-Feb-14 20:44:38

Perhaps have a word with your husband, and have him gently ask her not to make those comments. In the mean time, be nice to her and maybe she will be nicer in return. It could be a lot worse smile

BobPat you're cracking me up!!!

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