DH at a conference somwhere in Amsterdam, did nor mention he would be late, normally home by now or texted or phoned I have heard nothing, he nearly always contacts me during the day, nothing today. I have both phoned and sent messages no answer. Am I wrong to worry ir be angry or both? (I live in the Netherlands hence him being in Amsterdam)
I would say there's no point being either - if something has happened (v unlikely) there's nothing you can do. He is usually considerate so give him the benefit of the doubt. Also 'being angry ' doesn't achieve much. Ps if I had to let myOH know exactly when I 'd be home, I'd think he was a bit OTT
Oh well jus sent me a message to say he was on the train. Very angry because he is normally in touch during the day, which was the only reason I was worried. Don't feel like giving him the chocolates I bought suppose I am being petty.
May help to know I have been diagnosed with stress, linked to mental health problems, so not the happiest time if my life at the moment. Oh well out of my system now
I was at a conf a few years ago where the speaker got everyone to agree that all phones would be off all the time, and anyone who forgot and whose phone rang would make a contribution to charity - could have been like that and he could have been networking on breaks and forgot to text.
He just told me he didn't notice his phone ring, unfortunately my stress causes me to get angry quickly, as I say something I need to deal with. I also worry way too much , both these things I am hoping counseling will help with.
Poor man I sometimes wonder why he puts up with me
Glad you've taken a step back and looked at this again.
I've been in some conference venues where the main auditorium in the basement of the building and phone signal is crap so his phone might not have rung at all but sounded like it was connected from your end.
Thanks Gennacy, when you used to someone staying in contact I do think it makes it essy to worry when they are not in contact. Used to really annoy me when he rang me st work every day actually, now I am so used hid messages and phone calls I can see like today I start tp panic too easily and think the worst.
Goodie - I get anxiety, and on my best days still don't react well to changes like that and have a tendency to catastrophise.
Dp always gives me a quick call when he finishes for the day (works away during the week), just to chat with no 'checking in' about it. He didn't the other day and I was practically getting out my funeral clothes. Turns out his phone signal was crap and he couldn't get through....
It's ok to have feelings you can't control as long as you learn to recognise them for what they are and minimise the effect they have on other people. My strategy is to set myself times I can think about it. For example I'll vac and do the washing up and then I can try to call him. Realistically if something had gone tits up there'd be bugger all I could do, but that doesn't stop my stomach tying itself in knots.
I liken it to living with your parents and them worrying about when you're getting home and then not giving a crap when you leave home, if it's part of a routine I'm going to worry if it's deviated from