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DH normally messages me to say when he will be home, I haven't heard anything all day should I be angry, worried.

(30 Posts)
goodiegoodieyumyum Fri 14-Feb-14 17:17:13

DH at a conference somwhere in Amsterdam, did nor mention he would be late, normally home by now or texted or phoned I have heard nothing, he nearly always contacts me during the day, nothing today. I have both phoned and sent messages no answer. Am I wrong to worry ir be angry or both? (I live in the Netherlands hence him being in Amsterdam)

SoldAtAuction Fri 14-Feb-14 17:22:03

Why would you be angry? For all you know, he could have had his battery die, or forgot his phone somewhere, or be busy.
Concerned, maybe, but unless there is bad history, I wouldn't be angry.

MothratheMighty Fri 14-Feb-14 17:22:36

I wouldn't be angry until you find out why.
How late is he? A few hours? A day?
Have you rung the venue to see if there have been transport/weather problems?

tigermoll Fri 14-Feb-14 17:23:14

I would say there's no point being either - if something has happened (v unlikely) there's nothing you can do. He is usually considerate so give him the benefit of the doubt. Also 'being angry ' doesn't achieve much. Ps if I had to let myOH know exactly when I 'd be home, I'd think he was a bit OTT

goodiegoodieyumyum Fri 14-Feb-14 17:23:40

Oh well jus sent me a message to say he was on the train. Very angry because he is normally in touch during the day, which was the only reason I was worried. Don't feel like giving him the chocolates I bought suppose I am being petty.

May help to know I have been diagnosed with stress, linked to mental health problems, so not the happiest time if my life at the moment. Oh well out of my system now

goodiegoodieyumyum Fri 14-Feb-14 17:25:02

I don't need to know exactly when Dh gets home, he constantly tells me, I have never asked him to, we do n

goodiegoodieyumyum Fri 14-Feb-14 17:26:43

Sorry some how posted before I finished writing
Normally eat as a family, so with two small children it is nice what time he will be in

DelGirl Fri 14-Feb-14 17:27:43

Maybe if he's been in a conference, he hasnt had a chance to text or perhaps poor signal. Take a deep breath.

MothratheMighty Fri 14-Feb-14 17:32:46

Glad he's safe.

goodiegoodieyumyum Fri 14-Feb-14 17:37:01

Sorry some how posted before I finished writing
Normally eat as a family, so with two small children it is nice what time he will be in

I was at a conf a few years ago where the speaker got everyone to agree that all phones would be off all the time, and anyone who forgot and whose phone rang would make a contribution to charity - could have been like that and he could have been networking on breaks and forgot to text.

AngryFeet Fri 14-Feb-14 17:38:37

Overreaction much? Very unfair to take it out on him if it is your own mh issue. Sometimes there is no time to text or call.

goodiegoodieyumyum Fri 14-Feb-14 17:39:34

Thank you all I know I was BU, something I need to work on I think.

ThatBloodyWoman Fri 14-Feb-14 17:40:09

Not angry nor worried.

There's a simple reason like phone out of charge, or no signal.

specialsubject Fri 14-Feb-14 17:48:10

please give him the chocolates.

remember mobile phones are not reliable.

goodiegoodieyumyum Fri 14-Feb-14 17:49:24

He just told me he didn't notice his phone ring, unfortunately my stress causes me to get angry quickly, as I say something I need to deal with. I also worry way too much , both these things I am hoping counseling will help with.

Poor man I sometimes wonder why he puts up with me

ThatBloodyWoman Fri 14-Feb-14 17:57:19

Because he loves you, goodie, and you are obviously a caring and thoughtful person.

root2 Fri 14-Feb-14 18:00:35

Please don't give him a hard time.

Just a hug and chocolates would make everyone happy.

goodiegoodieyumyum Fri 14-Feb-14 18:16:34

Chocolates waiting along with a cold beer and dinner and a hug and a kiss.

LastTangoInDevonshire Fri 14-Feb-14 18:20:32

Please give him some slack - he is at WORK after all.

Glad you've taken a step back and looked at this again.

I've been in some conference venues where the main auditorium in the basement of the building and phone signal is crap so his phone might not have rung at all but sounded like it was connected from your end.

Gennacy Fri 14-Feb-14 18:47:17

I do this with my husband too. He always calls to say he has arrived safely and again when he has left work.

When he forgets I have a tendency to panic (he was in a car accident a few years ago, and has picked up the habit) Usually I find his phone upstairs :D

I just though it was a lovely thing to do, nothing controlling, just respectful. grin

goodiegoodieyumyum Fri 14-Feb-14 19:13:56

Thanks Gennacy, when you used to someone staying in contact I do think it makes it essy to worry when they are not in contact. Used to really annoy me when he rang me st work every day actually, now I am so used hid messages and phone calls I can see like today I start tp panic too easily and think the worst.

Imnotmadeofeyes Fri 14-Feb-14 19:32:59

Goodie - I get anxiety, and on my best days still don't react well to changes like that and have a tendency to catastrophise.

Dp always gives me a quick call when he finishes for the day (works away during the week), just to chat with no 'checking in' about it. He didn't the other day and I was practically getting out my funeral clothes. Turns out his phone signal was crap and he couldn't get through....

It's ok to have feelings you can't control as long as you learn to recognise them for what they are and minimise the effect they have on other people. My strategy is to set myself times I can think about it. For example I'll vac and do the washing up and then I can try to call him. Realistically if something had gone tits up there'd be bugger all I could do, but that doesn't stop my stomach tying itself in knots.

I liken it to living with your parents and them worrying about when you're getting home and then not giving a crap when you leave home, if it's part of a routine I'm going to worry if it's deviated from grin

Bunbaker Fri 14-Feb-14 19:34:40

I expect he would have had his phone on silent. It is very rude and inappropriate to allow your phone to ring during a conference.

I sometimes think that because we now have the ability to being in constant contact we get upset when that is taken away from us.

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